


The Shadows Within

by Rhaenyra



Series: The Shadows Within universe [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coming of Age, Community: HPFT, Discrimination, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Romance, School, Slow Burn, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:17:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 75,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9123286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhaenyra/pseuds/Rhaenyra
Summary: The year is 1976. Lily Evans and the Marauders are starting their sixth year and things are changing.  Voldemort is gaining power both inside and outside of Hogwarts.  It is time to choose sides in the upcoming war, which may mean cutting out old friends and forging new friendships.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. The specifics of Lily & the Marauder’s 6th year is largely mine, with things you recognize being JKR’s creations.

Prologue

They hardly dared to breathe. No one knew why they had been called to the Avery home, but nobody dared to ask. They knew that it would not be smart to question the Dark Lord’s motives, particularly when he had been desperate enough to call them at eleven o’clock. For most of them, they had not had the honour of being in his presence more than a handful of times.

Even though the Dark Lord had not yet arrived, much less told them why they had been summoned, the group of Death Eaters knew that this would not be an ordinary assignment. Most of the men and women scattered around the room were young, new recruits. There only a few were out of their twenties, and even fewer had been granted the honour of having the Dark Mark tattooed into their skin. In fact, Cassius Avery and Cygnus Black were the only two present who had the Mark.

It was unusual for the Dark Lord to have called upon this group, most of whom were so new to his mission that they had not been able to go on any assignments yet. In fact, Cygnus’s eldest daughter, the recently married Bellatrix Lestrange, was considered experienced despite the fact that she had recruited one new member to their cause and had only been in four skirmishes.

Of everybody present, the youngest was sixteen-year-old Julius Avery, the son of Cassius, who was going start his sixth year at Hogwarts in two days’ time. He had never been allowed into the meetings that were held at his house before, but today the Dark Lord has made the request that he be present at the meeting. He was standing awkwardly beside his father, unsure of what he should expect.

The grandfather clock in the foyer began to chime as the door opened and the tall, pale figure of Lord Voldemort swiftly entered the room. The quiet conversations that had been occurring ceased as his presence became known. Many of the newest Death Eaters bowed their heads as he walked past them as a sign of respect, but he did not pay attention to them. He had a purpose here, and he intended to get to it as quickly as possible.

He stopped near the elaborate stone and marble fireplace in the corner of the room and turned to face his followers. He examined the faces of those who had shown up carefully, as though checking to see that everyone he had requested be present had arrived. Many of the young men and women did not hold his gaze for more than a moment or two, but they had all shown up like he had told them to. This was exceptionally important. He did not trust people; it went against his very nature, so the best he could hope for was that they were loyal and obedient. He would not deal with people who could not follow orders, but he despised killing witches and wizards who had such noble blood.

“I see you have all found your way here,” he said. He did not speak loudly, but he didn’t have to. Nobody dared speak when he did. “For many of you, this could be the opportunity you have been waiting for.” He paused, letting this comment sink in, before adding, “The time has come that you will all be of use.”

He walked towards Julius and Cassius Avery, placing his hand gingerly on the older man’s shoulder while the younger one tensed up at his proximity to the Dark Lord. “Avery offered to let us use his home so I could inform you all of a very important mission. It is one that you all have the skills for and the resources for, perhaps even more so than my followers who have proven themselves most loyal.”

The Dark Lord was happy at the curiosity the young Death Eaters were showing as he spoke. Many of them seemed quite surprised by his statement, unaware of how they could be of more help than his older followers who had more experience, more connections to important people, and had proven themselves skilled in the past. They did not have to wait long for the Dark Lord to continue.

“I’m sure you have all noticed that you are a rather young group,” he began. “This will work to your benefit because you have the connections that we need so desperately now. You have acquaintances of proper heritage that would be excellent in duels and supportive of our cause. You have sharp minds and have all proven yourselves most eager to learn for the benefit of wizardkind. And above all, you are young.”

The first two points had been easy to follow, but the third caused several of them to look around, their confusion evident on their faces. This did not bother Voldemort. On the contrary, it pleased him that many of them could not see exactly why he was thinking how he did. It would make things so much simpler later on.

“Many of you have younger siblings and younger cousins, young people who you can influence. Some of you have children,” he looked pointedly at the few middle-aged wizards in the room, “who you have brought up to be proud of their pureblood heritage. This will prove itself beneficial to our cause. If the young witches and wizards of today can be taught what is important and right today, they will be able to have an influence over the wizarding world for years to come.

“You will all be able to prove your worth over the course of this next year. You will aid in me shaping the minds of today’s youth. The group I have gathered today should prove most beneficial, as you can help guide the young ones who come to you in the right direction.”

He moved so he was standing directly in front of Julius Avery. The dark haired boy looked uncomfortable that the Dark Lord appeared to be preparing to speak to him directly, but managed to hold eye contact. “You, young Avery, are in a position to be of great use to me, from inside the walls of Hogwarts itself.”  
He ended the meeting shortly after and apparated away, leaving nearly as quickly and silently as he had appeared. He was the closest he had felt to being happy in quite some time. Things were starting to fall into place. Even better, nobody seemed to suspect some of his true reasons for wanting such young, inexperienced Death Eaters.

He would soon have more young witches and wizards at his fingertips, with their malleable minds and willingness to do what they were told to do. What they lacked in skill and practise, they would be able to make up for in eagerness, bravery, and recklessness. They would do as he told them, he was quite sure of it. They would be ideal to send off on missions where he was expecting fights, because young ones did not think about the dangers of what they were doing. If things went badly and they were captured or killed, it would be much better than losing his more trained, talented followers.

The others also did not seem to realize that by having young followers at Hogwarts, it would help him level the field with Dumbledore. The old fool wouldn’t even realize what was happening right under his crooked nose until it was too late. The damage would already be done.


	2. Hogwarts Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> September 2nd, 1976.

**Chapter One – Hogwarts Again**  
The morning of September second was always unpleasant. Lily had thought this every day since her second year and today was no different.

When she was in her first year, she hadn’t been bothered by the fact that she had to wake up earlier than she had all summer. She was thrilled to be at Hogwarts, surrounded by other people like her. The idea of finally being able to learn how to control her magic had made her so excited that she’d hardly been able to sleep. She had been nervous after the Sorting the night before, of course, since the only people she recognized from her house had been mean to Severus on the train, but she quickly became friendly with several other people in her year. It had also helped that the first class she’d ever had at Hogwarts was Charms with the Slytherins, so she had at least one friendly face to sit next to.

When her second year had rolled around, she wasn’t nearly as excited. She had loved taking the train up to Scotland and seeing all her female friends again on the first, but by the second the excitement had worn off as the realization that she had another ten months of classes and early mornings dawned on her. Third and fourth year were much the same, while last year was only marginally better with the newness of being a Prefect giving her mood a boost.

This year, she was back to her groggy self. Between staying up chatting with her friends the previous night and being accustomed to another two hours of sleep, she was not ready to wake up yet. She hoped that the first period class would be something she wasn’t taking, so she would have more time to wake up.

She had made her way down from the dormitory with two of her close friends who were also in Gryffindor, Aurora and Claire. As they walked in Lily looked around, trying to spot their other three friends. She was able to spot Naomi and Pippa at the Hufflepuff table quickly, sitting next to a few of the other girls who were in their year as they piled breakfast onto their plates. At the Ravenclaw table, Liv was laughing next to a mixed group of boys and girls from the upper classes.

The three Gryffindor girls sat down on the long, wooden benches, walking down so they would be well away from the professors’ elevated table. They found a spot that was several yards down from a group of nervous looking kids who had to have been first years and sat down, tossing their bags at their feet.

On Lily’s right, Aurora let out an exaggerated yawn. “I don’t know if I should hope for a class this morning or not. On one hand, a free period means I can sleep in on Thursday mornings all year. On the other hand, I got up now and a free period would mean it was all a waste.”

“I’m sure McGonagall will get here soon enough,” Claire assured her, pushing her long blonde hair behind her ear. She glanced through a copy of the Daily Prophet, discarded by a student who had clearly gotten up earlier than them.

"Anything interesting?" Lily asked.

"Somebody's claiming he was fired from the Department of Magical Law enforcement because his higher up doesn't like Muggleborns," Claire said tensely.

Lily winced. She hoped that whoever the complaining wizard was, hopefully he had really good security at his home.

Lily ate in silence with her friends for a few minutes before a few loud male voices came ringing behind her back let her know that James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had arrived. There were seven Gryffindor boys in their year, who had divided themselves into two cliques almost from the beginning. Even if she hadn’t been able to place the voices, she would have known which group was approaching from the sheer loudness of their conversation.

The boys slid in around the three girls, dropping down book bags and laughing as they climbed over the benches. Remus sat on Lily’s left while the other three boys sat by Claire on the opposite side of the table.

“We were just trying to figure out what class they’re going to stick us with at nine in the morning on our first day back,” Sirius said louder than was necessary, barely paying attention to where he was pouring his pumpkin juice. “Do any of you lovely ladies want to hazard a guess?”

“They’ll probably pick something brutal, like Transfiguration or Ancient Runes,” Aurora said.

Lily couldn’t help but force back a smile. She had heard her best friend’s theories about how whomever was in charge of scheduling purposefully placed the most difficult classes at the worst times many times over the last five years. “Rora, you aren’t taking either of those,” Lily said, raising her eyebrows. 

Peter, who was sitting across from Aurora, asked, “Why did you decide not to take Transfiguration?” He stopped spreading jam onto his toast as he spoke, his voice much quieter than Sirius’s had been moments before. Peter was often overshadowed by his friends, but he was usually easier to talk to.

“Didn’t want to,” Aurora replied with a shrug.

“More like McGonagall didn’t want to take somebody who got a ‘P’ on their OWL,” Claire muttered under her breath.

Across the table, James and Sirius exchanged a glance while sniggering. “You didn’t seriously get a ‘P’, did you Gracin? Between all of us,” he gestured to the people sitting around her, “Liv and Pippa how exactly did you pull that off?”

Aurora looked indignant. “Hey, I got an ‘A’! Not all of us can be geniuses.”

Luckily for her, the newly appointed Deputy Headmistress, Professor McGonagall, moved over to their group then, with a stack of parchment that would soon have their timetables. “Professor, is it true that she,” he pointed at Aurora, “got an ‘A’ in Transfiguration, or did she get a ‘P’?”

“Mr Black, you know just as well as I do that I am not at liberty to discuss another student’s grades with you.” As she handed a piece of parchment to him, she added, “I suggest that you spend less time bothering the other students and more time focusing on your school work.”

Sirius grumbled as he took his timetable. He had only glanced down at it for a moment before he groaned. “History of Magic first thing on a Friday morning!” Looking around at the others, he asked, “Who is going to be suffering with me?”

He was met with silence. He was still complaining – and cursing – about it a few minutes later, when McGonagall had moved further down the table to the next group of students. James and Peter moved the food out of the middle of the table, so the seven Gryffindors were able to put their timetables down to compare them.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily could see Remus peering down at her schedule. “It looks like you and James have five of your six classes together.”

“That can’t be right,” Lily muttered, pulling James’s timetable across the table so she could compare it to hers. Unfortunately, it looked like Remus was right. The only thing that was different between the two of them was that she was taking Care of Magical Creatures while James was taking Ancient Runes. Fridays were the only days she would be free of him, because the rest of the week was packed with Herbology, Transfiguration, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Charms, and Potions.

“You must be insane,” Aurora said as she placed her schedule beside Lily’s to compare. She had a much lighter class load because she was only taking Herbology, Charms, and Defence Against the Dark Arts as her core subjects. She had also chosen to take Muggle Studies, which she had gotten an ‘O’ in thanks to having a Muggle father, and Divination, which she had proven to be surprisingly good at bullshitting in.

“I’m going to need them all if I have any hope of getting into school to be a healer,” Lily said defensively. “If you don’t mind me asking, what the hell do you expect to be able to do with your classes?”

“No idea,” Aurora replied as she reached for an apple. “I’ll figure that out as I go.”

Lily couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her friend. Planning things out had never been one of Aurora’s strong suits. She had tried to help her through their OWLs the year before, but Aurora was not especially interested or invested in school.

The rather large group was finishing up breakfast when they were joined by the girls’ other three friends. The two Hufflepuffs, Naomi and Pippa, came first and were followed almost immediately by the Ravenclaw, Liv. The three Gryffindor girls excused themselves from the table and made their way to the Entrance Hall.

“It looks like you were all having a civil conversation,” Pippa said. She seemed somewhat surprised by this, and Lily didn’t miss the pointed look in her direction.

“They haven’t had time to be annoying yet,” Lily said with an exaggerated grimace. “I’m sure it won’t take them long though.”

“You have to admit they can be funny,” Aurora said, looking up at her best friend. When they were all standing around together, it was obvious that she was by far the shortest of the group. She was an inch shy of five feet tall and after her last birthday, she seemed to have given up on ever hitting that mark.

“You just think they’re so funny because you have Quidditch with them,” Lily said.

Aurora shook her head. “Or maybe it’s because I wasn’t bothered by the fact that they teased Snape relentlessly for the past five years,” she countered.

Lily froze. She had been managing to do a pretty good job at pushing what had happened last year out of her mind and she couldn’t help but feel grumpy that Aurora had brought him up, even though she knew that they couldn’t avoid the topic of him forever. “Maybe.”

“Still a touchy subject?” Pippa asked, touching Lily’s arm gently. “Would you like us to avoid talking about him for a bit?”

Lily smiled at the brunette. She was one of the sweetest people that Lily had ever met and fiercely loyal; she was a true Hufflepuff. “I can’t avoid him, or the topic of him, forever.”

“In that case, we can always recruit the guys into annoying the hell out of him,” Liv said with a mischievous smile. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”

“Definitely not.” Peter’s voice came behind them. Turning around, Lily could see that he had a big grin on his face. “That’s been an ongoing project for the past few years, but it would be nice to finally have your approval about it.”

Behind Peter, Remus was trying somewhat unsuccessfully to hide his smirk while Sirius wasn’t bothering to keep his grin secret. James looked somewhat uncomfortable at the conversation that was occurring around him, with one hand in his robe pocket and the other running through his hair. Lily guessed that he was worried about saying something either way, since he had been victim of her outbursts frequently when he had bothered Snape.

“Is that true Potter? You’re being awfully quiet?”

James shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, we haven’t decided otherwise.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Of course it’s the plan. I think he just wants to make it through the first twenty-four hours of the school year before you bite his head off.”

Pushing up the sleeve of his robe to look at his watch, Remus grinned. “If you make it another two and a half hours, you’re in the clear.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” James grumbled.

“Lighten up mate. At least you’re not the one who has four early morning classes. And you don’t have to go listen to Binns drone on and on for an hour and a half twice a week ever again. Waste of my life, I tell you.”

“If you hate it that much, why did you take it?” Naomi asked.

Sirius shrugged. “I reckon for the same reason you are; it’ll come in handy when I start working.”

“What do you tend to get a job as exactly?”

A strange grin spread over Sirius’s face. “I’m going to be a Muggle and Muggleborn rights activist or lawyer or whatever.”

He was met with a lot of wide eyes and blank stares. “Oh Sirius,” Naomi breathed. “Wouldn’t that be dangerous given the… current climate?” She and Lily exchanged a look. Of the ten people standing around, they were the only two Muggleborns. Naomi’s youngest brother had been sorted into Hufflepuff the previous day, but he was the only magical relation the two girls had between them. Even though Naomi was usually quite bubbly and happy-go-lucky, Lily knew that she had also been keeping close tabs on what was happening in the wizarding world. When the bad things were happening to a group you belonged to, it was kind of hard not to.

The others had less to worry about regarding their blood status. James and Sirius were purebloods, while Claire might as well have been since she was a part of the eighth generation of all witches and wizards in her family. Remus, Peter, Liv, and Pippa were all half-bloods, but they were all the children of a witch and a wizard. Aurora was also a half-blood, and even though her father was a Muggle her maternal grandfather had been a pureblood.

As much as nobody wanted to discuss it, it had become clear that something horrible was going on in the wizarding world. For the sixth year in a row they had a new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, because their previous one, Muggleborn Gwendolyn Griffiths, had thought it was necessary to go into hiding as the school year came to an end. Lily knew that Sirius was well aware of this fact. It was impossible not to be, and he probably knew more about the other side than the rest of them coming from a family of, as he put it, “pure-blooded bigots”.

“Dangerous or not, somebody has to do it,” he said, seemingly nonplussed. “Anyway, it might give me another chance to argue with my family again.”

Liv looked down at her watch. “We only have ten minutes to get down to the dungeons for double Potions,” she said. “Lily, Naomi, you coming?” The two Muggleborns nodded and Liv said, “Anyone else? I know Pip and Aurora aren’t taking it. Claire?” Claire shook her head and Liv turned to the four boys. “Any of you guys taking Potions?”

“Just Sirius and me,” James said. He pulled his bag higher onto his shoulder and turned to his best friend. “C’mon mate. I want to make it through at least the first couple days before getting yelled at by a professor.”

The room they had for Potions this year was different for the first time. As soon as she set foot in it, Lily could see why. The dungeon they’d had for the first five years had always needed to be big enough for nearly thirty kids between two houses, so there had been six round tables that could seat five crammed into the room. Apparently, a lot of people had dropped Potions because this room only had four tables in it, plus a desk for Slughorn at the front of the room.

Shortly after they had gotten settled, Slughorn bounded into the room. He was wearing robes made out of velvet and, in the gap in his robes, a burnt orange shirt could be seen stretching across his wide stomach. The professor greeted students as he walked to the front of the room, where he stood behind his desk.

Lily watched as he pulled three cauldrons out from underneath the table, placing them on top one at a time. Once he had three spanning the tabletop, Slughorn called all of the students to the front of the room.

There was a loud scraping of chairs as the students stood up and made their way to see what Slughorn had to show them. Once at the front of the room, Lily stood near the desk so she would have the best view of what was going on. Potions was her favourite course and, unlike some others, she liked having a double period of it first thing in the morning.

Slughorn looked around at the students in front of him. After looking them over, he offered a quick greeting before starting into questions about the three potions that he had brewed and had on display for the class. “Can anybody tell me what this is?” he asked, sticking a ladle into the first cauldron.

Lily hardly had time to get a glimpse of the clear potion being poured out before she could hear Slughorn’s voice calling on somebody else. Even before he began to speak, Lily knew which voice she was going to hear. “It’s Veritaserum,” came Severus’s voice, which she knew so well. “It forces the person drinking it to speak the truth.”

Slughorn looked pleased. “Very good! And who can tell me about the potion over here?” Using a ladle, he lifted a portion of an extremely thick, almost chunky looking potion out of the middle cauldron.

Not waiting for Slughorn to call on her, Lily said, “That’s Polyjuice Potion. It can make the drinker look like whoever’s hair or other substance has been put into it.”

“Right you are, Miss Evans,” Slughorn said with a smile and Lily relaxed. She and Severus had always had a kind of playful competition when it came to Potions. She knew that it would continue, but the playfulness had disappeared from it.

Slughorn made his way to the third and final cauldron that was at the front of the room. The potion it contained was giving off spirals of smoke. “This is an extremely powerful potion,” he began, “one that is to be treated extremely carefully. Who can name this one?”

Once again, Snape beat her to answering. “Amortentia,” he said. “A love potion that smells different to every person, since it gives off the scents that they find most intoxicating.”

“Right you are,” Slughorn said. Lily grumbled something and he turned towards her. “What was that, Miss Evans?”

She felt her cheeks grow warm. “I said that it doesn’t actually create love, because that is impossible, but that it actually creates a very strong infatuation that will eventually wear off.”

“I’m glad to see that my two best students do not disappoint!” Slughorn was beaming. “Today, your assignment will be to create the Draught of Living Death. You will find the instructions for the potion on page ten of your textbooks. Today, the person who makes the best potion will be awarded a tiny vial of this, Felix Felicis.”

“Liquid luck,” Lily breathed at the same time as Snape. She looked at him and glared, which made the tentative smile on his face disappear.

“Right you two are. I must warn the winner that the use of this potion is illegal if it is used to influence sporting events, examinations, and the like. Use it wisely.” His seriousness stopped, and he returned to his usual loud, perky self. “You may all begin.”

For the rest of their double period, Lily worked as quickly as possible while maintaining accuracy. She didn’t want to make the best potion to win the Felix Felicis as much as she wanted to win it to beat Snape and keep him from winning. By the time the period was up, she thought that she had made a good potion. At the very least, it was better than any of the potions the other four had made, but that was not surprising. She had been the only one to get an ‘O’ on her Potions OWL.

When Slughorn began making his way around the room, she started to get impatient. She was not surprised when he looked down at her potion and beamed. She knew that it was better than the other four that she could see, but she wasn’t sure if it would be enough. She watched as he then went to see Snape’s potion, secretly hoping that he had made some awful mistake and that his potion had somehow turned orange. Unfortunately, Slughorn’s booming voice was congratulating Snape. “It is a very close call, but I believe that your potion is even better than Miss Evans’s. Here you go Snape, twelve hours of luck. Use it well.”

“Damn,” Lily muttered, vanishing her potion and beginning to clean up her spot. She was tossing her copy of Advanced Potion Making into her bag when she heard Snape addressing her. “Thanks for the tough competition Lily.”

“Oh, ha, ha, I lost,” she snapped, turning around to face him. “Is that why you came over here, to brag about how your potion was better than mine?”

He looked taken aback. His dark eyes were wide and he opened and closed his mouth several times before speaking. “I was being serious.” He seemed confused. “I just thought—”

“Well, you thought wrong,” James interrupted. Deciding to let him deal with Snape so she could make a quiet escape, Lily turned back to finish putting my belongings into her bag. “She doesn’t want to talk to you, so go hang out with your creepy little friends over there.”

“Doesn’t look like she wants to talk to you either,” Snape said.

Lily gritted her teeth. “I don’t need either of you to stand up for me, actually.” As she grabbed a handful of ingredients off the table she told herself that she was nearly there. There were only a few more things left to put away and then she could leave.

James lowered his voice. Apparently, he thought that it was low enough that Lily was not able to hear him because he said, “I saw the way you were looking at her today when you were talking about how Amortentia smells like the person you have a thing for or whatever.”

For some reason, this made Lily angry. She wasn’t sure if it was because either of them could claim that he cared for her when he had called her a Mudblood or if it was the way that they were talking about her like she was a thing to be won over. Or maybe it was that they seemed to have forgotten the fact that she was standing right behind them. Lily was just pulling her bag over her shoulder when she heard Snape say, “You say that like you haven’t been staring at her for years. She’s rejected you and told you to back off how many times but you still go sit beside her.”

Lily had had enough. “You both need to just grow up,” she said, glaring at both of them in turn. She them brushed past them, shaking off the hand Snape had placed on her arm to hold her back as she went. She could hear both of them call out, but she refused to look back at them.

She was still angry when she was making her way out of the dungeons towards the Entrance Hall a few minutes later. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even hear the heavy footfalls that came up from behind her until they were nearly right behind her. It was only when she heard a shout of “Lily!” that she finally turned around.

She slowed down as she looked over her shoulder. She saw James running through the crowd of people who were making their way to the Great Hall. He forced his way between a group of second years and said, “I didn’t mean to make you upset,” he said, as he caught up to her. “But can I ask, what exactly was it that bothered you?”

“I can stand up for myself,” Lily said. “I don’t need you to do it for me.”

“I just wanted to help,” James said.

“Well, you didn’t need to mention that he was looking at me. Don’t be ridiculous. Somebody like that could never like a Mudblood like me.” She didn’t like how close to her he was walking, but she knew that in a few minutes she could be eating lunch and free of him.

She was surprised to feel a tight grip around her forearm. She turned towards James to tell him off, but the look on his face threw her off for a split second, which was enough time to let him say what was on his mind. “Don’t you ever call yourself that,” he said harshly.

“Fine,” she said, yanking her arm out of his grip. “But why do you care what I call myself?”

“Because you’re so much more than just a Muggleborn Lily,” he said with a sigh. He ran his hand through his already messy hair, before saying, “Just don’t call yourself that.”

“Fine,” she said.

This seemed to appease James. At the very least, he let her go into the Great Hall without continuing to follow her.


	3. The First Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Classes continue and Quidditch tryouts are announced.

**Chapter Two – The First Week**

 

 

Since Lily wasn’t taking History of Magic or Ancient Runes, she did not have her first class on Friday until after lunch.  She was making her way across the lawn with Claire and Pippa, blonde and brunette and redhead, chatting about what they thought they would be dealing with this year.  It took them a few minutes to reach the edge of the Forbidden Forest, where they stood with the other students who had shown up early.  There was a smattering of their classmates standing around, including two of the other girls from Pippa’s dorm and Matthew Wagstaff, one of the seven Gryffindor boys, who was currently talking to Remus Lupin.

 

Professor Silvanus Kettleburn appeared a couple minutes late.  Before speaking, he looked around at the fifteen students who had gathered in front of him.  “Good, it looks like you’re all here,” he said, brushing his long, greying hair out of his eyes.  “Now, I need you to all follow me.”

 

He set off in the direction of the boat house, an area which was usually left alone by students and staff alike.  The students followed behind him, walking slowly behind their limping professor, who had been given the nickname of Pirate by his students due to the fact that he was missing his left leg from the knee down.  There had been many theories about how he had lost it over the years, ranging from a dragon to an accident with a Muggle saw, before Kettleburn had finally put them to rest.  He didn’t talk about it much, but last year they had been able to get him to say that it involved an encounter with a particularly vicious Graphorn.

 

As they walked a rather large tank filled with murky lake water was soon visible, though nothing could be made out within it until they had gathered close to the sides of the tank.  “Everybody gather round,” Kettleburn said, gesturing to the students that they should stand along the perimeter of the tank.  Inside, Lily could see the wiggling, foot-long bodies of some sort of water dwelling creature. “Now, can anybody tell me what this tank contains?”

 

He was met by silence.  Lily looked to her left at Claire, who shrugged.  After several seconds without an answer, Kettleburn pointed to Willow Oliphant, who had been at the top of the class ever since they had started Care of Magical Creatures in third year.  “Miss Oliphant, care to hazard a guess?”

 

She stared into the tank for a moment, dark eyes unblinking, before answering the professor. “It looks like a Lobalug.”

 

“Right you are.  Take five points for Slytherin,” he said, offering her one of his rare smiles.  “Can anybody else tell me something about a Lobalug?”

 

“They are bottom dwellers,” Pippa offered, but only after she had been called on.  “They are poisonous, and the poison is sometimes used by Merpeople as a weapon.”

 

“Excellent Miss Brown,” Kettleburn said.  “Five points for Hufflepuff.  Because of their poison, Lobalugs can be quite dangerous.  This poison is sometimes used in potions, which is what we are going to be extracting it for today.”

 

A few of the students exchanged looks.  “Sir, isn’t that strictly controlled by the Ministry?” asked Oliphant, looking slightly alarmed.

 

Kettleburn nodded.  “That’s true.  Don’t you worry, I have a permit from the Ministry here,” he pulled a piece of parchment out of one of the pockets on the exterior of his robes.  Reaching into the opposite pocket, he pulled out a vial of dark purple liquid.  “And here, I have a vial of a strong antidote for any of you who may need it before the class is through.  Professor Slughorn has assured me that this should do the trick and Madam Pomfrey has been informed of what we are doing today.”

 

Even though he had said not to worry, Lily couldn’t help but think that it was the reasonable thing to do.  From the way that he mentioned the idea of one or more of them being poisoned, it seemed as though he was expecting at least one of them to be by the time their double period was up.  Professor Kettleburn was not somebody who had a normal view of what was dangerous and what was not.

 

The professor then explained to them how they were supposed to be removing the poison.  He then instructed them to pair up with one of the people next to them.  Claire and Pippa partnered up, leaving Lily with the person on her other side.

 

She smiled at the familiar face beside her.  “Looks like we’re partners,” she said to Remus.

 

“If you let me get poisoned, you’ll be stuck patrolling on your own from now on,” Remus said, a small smile playing on his lips.  “So you have to keep me alive for your benefit.”

 

Lily laughed.  “That was always the plan, Remus.”

 

Of all of the sixth year Gryffindor boys, Remus was the one that she got along with the best.  They had grown closer the previous year, when they were appointed as the two Gryffindor Prefects.  Lily had originally been a little surprised that Dumbledore selected Remus for the position, since he had spent the better part of four years pulling pranks.  It was true that he definitely would have been a better choice than James, Sirius, or Peter, but it had taken her awhile to see why he had been selected over the other three boys in his dorm.  Once she got to know him better as an individual rather than as part of his friend group, she had to admit that Dumbledore probably had made a good decision.  At the very least, Remus made the occasional attempt to control his friends.  The two groups of Gryffindor boys were civil, but rarely interacted.  The odds that any of them would have better luck controlling Remus’s friends than him was laughable.

 

At the end of the previous school year, Aurora had made it clear that she thought Lily should join her when she hung out with the boys in their year.  She had waited three days after their DADA OWL exam and the Mudblood Incident before bringing the issue up, but Lily had been able to see that it strained her to even wait that long.  Aurora had comforted her for the first couple of days, but it was clear that she hadn’t been surprised by Severus’s comments.  They had gotten into several spats over her relationship with him in years past, especially when he had grown closer to some of the Slytherins known for their cruelty.

 

The fact that Aurora had become friends with James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had never really been an issue for Lily.  Lily had been careful not to complain to Aurora about the boys too much and in return Aurora had tried to keep her distaste for Severus Snape quiet as well.  Even with their agreement, whenever James and his friends had done something even more obnoxious than usual, Lily had made sure to let Aurora know that she didn’t approve.  Yet, with Severus out of the picture, Aurora seemed to want to unify her friends into one big group.

 

Lily had told her off in the last weeks of school, not ready to deal with the boys who had tormented her friend for years.  Aurora had respected that for the most part for the remainder of the school year.  Even though Aurora hadn’t liked Snape, she understood the need to take time to process what was going on.  On the train, she seemed to have decided that a new year meant that it was time for some changes.  Aurora had not let the issue rest on the train; it seemed that she had finally decided that enough was enough.  When Aurora had gone to visit the boys in their carriage, she had dragged Lily over to say hello.  Lily was not a fan of the idea, but had gone along to make her best friend happy for a few moments before she went to the Prefects’ Carriage with Remus.

 

If Aurora had only wanted to make her spend time with Remus and occasionally Peter, she would be perfectly content.  It was the fact that Aurora also thought that it was necessary that she spend time with Sirius and James that bothered her.  They could be funny, even she had to admit that, but they didn’t know where to draw the line.

 

 

 

 

The weekend felt almost like it was a continuation of summer.  There had only been two days of classes since they had arrived back at Hogwarts, which was hardly enough school to get the students out of vacation mode.  On the Saturday Lily had taken the opportunity to sleep in again, like most of the girls in her dorm, before getting up for a late breakfast.  The weekend was spent relaxing, with very little homework to deal with.

 

Monday was a harsh dose of reality.  Professor Sprout didn’t waste any time jumping right into the work that morning.  It was one of the first fairly full classes of the year for the sixth years and it resulted in Lily finding herself in a class with Snape again.  She made sure to pick a potted plant that was on the opposite edge of the greenhouse as his and tried her best to avoid looking in his direction. 

 

That afternoon brought the sixth years their first Transfiguration class.  When she entered the class, Lily began to head to the seat she had used for the past few years out of habit before stopping dead in her tracks.  A familiar figure with a head of dark, somewhat greasy hair and hunched shoulders was sitting in her typical spot.  He had usually sat on the right side of the table, so she was able to sit beside him and across from her female friends at the same time.  This had worked well, since Aurora and Claire had been able to share a table and were still able to talk to her if they needed to, but her presence had stopped them from actually having to talk to Snape.

 

She hesitated for a second, trying to figure out what to do.  There was no way on God’s green Earth that she was going to take Snape’s old seat.  As had been made clear from their conversation on the second, Aurora hadn’t been eligible to take the class again, and Claire was already sitting in the desk ahead of where she used to sit with Pippa.  The table behind them was only being used only by Liv and Lily knew that the empty seat was meant for her.  The problem was, Liv had chosen to sit in the seat closest to the wall, leaving Lily the seat that was directly across from Snape.

 

Telling herself not to be ridiculous, she squared her shoulders and made her way down the aisle between the desks to the third table from the back.  She carefully placed her bag on the floor at her feet and took out a quill, some ink, and a roll of parchment.  Ignoring Snape’s hopeful look, she turned her back towards him and tried to start a conversation with Liv.  Lily was glad that if she had to sit next to Snape that the person on her other side was one who had never been afraid to speak her mind.

 

“Sorry,” Liv said, looking over Lily’s shoulder to the table where Snape was sitting.  She raised her voice slightly before asking, “Do you want to switch places with me so you don’t have to sit across from the asshole over there?”

 

Lily couldn’t help but give a small chuckle at Liv’s passive aggressiveness.  As much as she wanted to switch places, she knew that she was going to need to deal with him at some point so she might as well get used to ignoring him now.

 

Unfortunately, Lily quickly realized that the spot that she and her friends had chosen would not be ideal for concentrating for another reason.  In addition to the fact that out of the corner of her eye she could see Snape stealing glances at her, they had chosen the two tables directly in front of where James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had traditionally chosen to sit.  Apparently, they had found the back left corner ideal for their combination of planning pranks and taking notes about the lesson.

 

As she was speaking with her friends, Lily felt the person sitting behind her tap on her shoulder several times.  She turned around to find herself face to face with James Potter and had to repress a sigh.  “Yes?” she asked bluntly.

 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if you would like to change places with one of us so we could… deal with the slime ball next to you.”

 

Even though she knew that there was absolutely no reason for her to stand up for her old friend anymore, there was a part of her that had been about to say something about calling Snape names almost instinctively.  She repressed the urge and said, “Thanks for the offer, but I’m fine.  Liv already offered to switch seats with me.”

 

“Are you sure,” he half-asked.  “I’m positive none of us would mind.  You could always change spots with, I don’t know, maybe Peter?”

 

Lily looked between James and Peter, who was sitting to his left and raised an eyebrow.  When she looked back at James, he said, “What do you think?  It could be fun.”

 

“No thank you,” she said briskly.

 

She was starting to turn her back towards him when she heard him say something strange.  “Please?”

 

She couldn’t remember him ever saying ‘please’ to her before and it had thrown her for a loop.  It had always just been, “Come to Hogsmeade with me Evans” or “Why would you want to hang out with Snivellus when you can hang out with us, Evans?” or “Be my partner”, without even the remotest hint that he truly cared what she thought about the matter.  This was something new.

 

“Thanks, but no thanks,” she said.  “I really am fine.”

 

Forget him saying ‘please’, she could never remember herself being this polite to him when he had just interrupted her to ask her a question.  It was as though his politeness had thrown her so off guard that she also had to act strange.  It was true that she had usually made a point to be polite to everybody, but he and Sirius had always been an exception because she never could forget the fact that they had been mean to her only friend the first time they were on the Hogwarts Express.  Now that she and Severus were no longer friends, she didn’t have the built-in excuse about why she could be rude to them back.  She wasn’t sure if she liked it.

 

This was all still weighing heavily on her mind when McGonagall entered the classroom a couple minutes later.  McGonagall had hardly reached the front of the classroom before she began speaking.  Surprisingly, McGonagall started off by congratulating the students on having made acceptable grades on their OWLs.  Unsurprisingly, her congratulations were quickly replaced by a stern discussion about how this year was going to be different from the previous five.

 

“You are all nearly of age and if you want to be treated like adults, I expect you to act like them it this year,” she looked around the classroom at her students sternly through her angular glasses.  She spent a disproportionate amount of time looking at the back left corner of the room.  Even though Lily knew that the intense gaze was meant for the four boys behind her, she couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with McGonagall’s intense stare aimed so close to her.  “I expect that you all show up promptly and ready to learn every single class this year.  I will not stand for gossiping, note passing, prank planning, or other unnecessary distractions to be done on my time.”  As she mentioned each thing that her students did to pass the class time, she briefly looked towards a group of students that had been found guilty of the offence most often.  Lily was not surprised that McGonagall looked to the two tables behind her for the last distraction, as she suspected that it was the four boys’ fault that ‘prank planning’ had been added to the list in the first place.

 

Seeming to feel as though she had wasted enough class time talking about something other than Transfiguration for one day, McGonagall quickly began the lesson.  Walking over to the blackboard, she wrote down, “Vanishing spells.”

 

“One of the most difficult spells you had to perform during your OWLs was a Vanishing Spell on an invertebrate.  We will spend the first half hour today perfecting and re-mastering the spell on snails.  Mr Chambers, please pass out the snails,” she said to a good looking Ravenclaw boy, who took the large cardboard box from on top of her desk.  “After a half hour has passed, we will begin working on vanishing frogs.  When you have received your snail, you may begin.”

 

Lily sighed as she took the snail she was supposed to start vanishing from Michael Chambers.  She was sure that her Vanishing Spell had suffered over the summer.  She knew that many of her friends would ignore the orders not to do magic over the summer, thanks to their parents’ magical abilities and the Ministry of Magic’s inability to tell the difference between an of age and an underage person performing magic.  She had no such luck, and she had a sinking feeling that it was going to affect her ability to Vanish a frog.

 

By the time Transfiguration finally came to an end, Lily was quite frustrated.  By the time the half hour period was up, she had managed to Vanish her snail without issue, but the frogs were an entirely different matter.  She had managed to Vanish the legs of the frog, but the rest of it remained completely visible, looking like it was hovering slightly above the desk.  The fact that beside her Liv’s entire frog resembled something of a ghost, with only the slightest bit of it remaining to be seen, made her even more frustrated and her failures.  It definitely didn’t help her mood that the first person who managed to make their frog disappear completely was James Potter, sitting directly behind her and cheering within twenty-five minutes because his frog was nowhere to be found.

 

When the sixth year Gryffindors had reached their common room after class, Lily was looking forward to winding down and talking to Aurora.  From the moment she had set foot in the room, it was clear that things were not going to go exactly as she had hoped.

 

“Hi Captain,” Aurora said, making a beeline for James.

 

James grinned.  From the many Quidditch conversations that Lily had heard over the years, she knew that he had been playing the sport since he was four.  Even with all of their issues, she had never been able to deny that he was talented on the Quidditch Pitch.  He had out-flown everybody during their first flying lesson in first year and had been the only person in their year to make their house Quidditch team the following year.  He had beat out all of the upperclassmen, including third year Lance MacFarlan, who made the team the following year.  That had been the only year since they had arrived at Hogwarts that Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup, making James the only Gryffindor player who had a Quidditch Cup victory under his belt.  “I take it you saw that Quidditch try-outs have been announced.”

 

“Of course,” she said with a grin.  “You better let me on the team again this year!”  Aurora had made the team in our fourth year as the third and final Chaser on the team.  Even though he was a Muggle, her father had been thrilled that she made the team.  He had been obsessed with football his entire life and had grown fond of Quidditch ever since he had married his wife, so he apparently had been very happy that his daughter had made the team for the only sport Hogwarts offered.

 

“You better play your best then,” James said.  “I can’t just let all the previous team members on, friends or not.  There might be a better player out there.”

 

“If you pick a third year over me, I am going to jinx off your hair while you sleep,” Sirius threatened, looking serious for a moment before laughing.

 

Lily didn’t like the way the conversation was going.  She knew that Aurora loved a good discussion about either football or Quidditch, her father having passed on his obsessions to her.  Lily and Claire didn’t know enough about either sport to satisfy her desire to talk about them, so she often had long conversations with her Quidditch teammates after games.  After class Claire had left with Pippa, who had promised that she would get Claire’s boyfriend out of the Hufflepuff common room for her.  That left Lily to either talk with the other three girls in their dorm, who had formed their own little group with the other three Gryffindor boys years ago, to spend time with people from another year, or to deal with the boys so she could spend time with Aurora.

 

Oh, the sacrifices she made for friendship.


	4. Sirius's Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after a full moon, Lily learns about Sirius's summer. Naomi talks about her brother.

**Chapter Three – Sirius’s Summer**

 

 

The fact that school had begun again became less painful as time went on.   By the time the second week rolled around, everybody seemed to have adjusted to life at Hogwarts again, although the sixth years had more homework than ever before.  Aurora expressed her displeasure about this fact repeatedly, muttering that this was supposed to be their year off between OWLs and NEWTs.  Lily tried to keep a positive attitude about it all, but secretly found herself agreeing with Aurora.

 

Professor McGonagall had not been impressed with the lack of progress that a lot of her students had made, so she had assigned everybody to continue to practice their Vanishing spells and promised a quiz on the proper technique of it on Monday.  Lily had managed to be successful with the spell by the end of the class whenever she was concentrating.  She had made her desk translucent at one point due to a poorly timed hop by her frog, but at least it was progress.

 

Little Professor Flitwick, who now had to teach a monstrous NEWT-level class that included most of their year, had a similar attitude to Professor McGonagall.  They had just learned Aguamenti, which meant that wet robes and a slippery floor had become a common hazard wherever people were practicing their Charms work.  Professor Flitwick had assigned them to read the section of their textbook that was dedicated to it, in addition to practising using the spell.

 

Of all their classes, Defence Against the Dark Arts had seen the most changes over the summer.  Things outside and even inside of Hogwarts were getting darker, which had resulted in their previous professor quitting because of her blood status.  She had been the fifth one of their DADA professors to leave the position after just one year, but somehow Dumbledore had still managed to find somebody else to teach them.  Professor Montgomery could not have been much more than ten years older than them, but she was willing to take on the job and Lily supposed Dumbledore didn’t have a ton of options.

 

The other major change was that Defence Against the Dark Arts was now a mandatory class for students in their sixth and seventh years and not only for students who had yet to complete their OWLs.  They had been divided into two groups, a group who would be studying at a higher level in preparation for their NEWTs next year and those who were not.  The students who had chosen to continue their studies in DADA had a double period Tuesday morning, while those who did not have the mark that was necessary or who had chosen not to take the class had a single period on Monday mornings that involved spells that were simpler, but still thought to be beneficial in these troubled times.  It meant that poor Professor Montgomery had more classes than any of the other professors, but she seemed up for the challenge.

 

Even though their new professor was enthusiastic and energetic, Lily had overheard several of her classmates whispering about what was known as the DADA curse.  Some people said they thought Professor Montgomery would be able to handle whatever was thrown at her, but Lily wasn’t so sure.  As Liv pointed out, all five of them had left for different reasons.  First they’d had Galatea Merrythought, who had returned from retirement for a single year to help Dumbledore.  Professor Lynch finished their second year massively pregnant and had quit to raise her baby in Ireland with her husband, while third year’s Professor Wagstaff had dropped dead of a heart attack. Dumbledore had somehow managed to get a Ministry employee who worked as a Hit Wizard to take on their fourth year, but Professor Jones had been eager to get back to his regular job.  Finally, Professor Griffiths had quit and gone into hiding due to her Muggle parentage.

 

When Thursday rolled around again, Lily was in a good mood, even though she had been up late the night before doing homework.  Having Potions always made her happy and at least the homework she was doing was magical in nature.  If she had never gotten her letter, she would probably be up late doing maths or something equally dull.  This Thursday was especially important to her, because she was determined to do better at whatever Slughorn assigned than Severus to make up for the first week.

 

If she’d been up for any other class, she may have been disappointed that Aurora and Claire were still in their dorm.  But since it was Potions, it didn’t even bother her that the only people she had to sit with at the Gryffindor table were acquaintances, rather than friends.  She sat down beside Sirius, who chose that very moment to stop talking to James.  Shrugging it off, she turned towards them to say a polite good morning.  As James yawned afterwards, she couldn’t help but add, “You both look exhausted.”

 

 “We had a late night last night,” Sirius said, spooning some porridge into his mouth.

 

That reminded Lily of something that a groggy Claire had said to her that morning, poking her head out from her four poster bed’s curtains as Lily did her best to get ready quietly.  “Was Remus ill or something?  Claire mentioned that he missed their first Astronomy class last night.  That doesn’t seem like him.”

 

James and Sirius exchanged a brief glance, but avoided making eye contact with her.  “Something like that, yeah,” James said vaguely.  “He went to see Madam Pomfrey at one point and never came back up to the dorm.”

 

“The poor guy has the most awful luck,” Lily said sadly.  Remus always seemed to be falling ill, as were his family members.  She knew that Severus Snape had had another theory about what was actually wrong with Remus and why he missed so much school, but Lily hadn’t wanted to hear any of it.  It was just too awful to think about.

 

Neither of the guys answered her and she did not press the issue.  She had the feeling that they knew more than they were saying, but she knew that they were loyal to Remus and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer.  After several minutes of silence, she asked them if they were looking forward to Potions.

 

James rolled his eyes.  “We’re not you Lily,” he said.  One of the corners of his mouth was turned up in a small smile.  “Class is class.”

 

“And a double class first thing in the morning with Slughorn can be quite the ordeal,” Sirius added.  “I mean, we can be pretty sure that he’s going to ask us to go to one of those Slug Club parties today and we’re going to be forced to go.”

 

“I like those parties,” Lily said grumpily, giving Sirius a look that he ignored.  “And he didn’t ask us to go to one last class, so I don’t know why you think today would be different.”

 

James swallowed the massive bite of eggs he had shoved into his mouth before speaking.  “He was probably just busy because it was the first class.  He’s going to ask us this class or the next one, I’d bet my Snitch on it.”

 

Sirius nodded along in agreement.  “We’ll see how you feel this year when you have to avoid old Snivelly all the time,” Sirius said. “Maybe then you’ll understand how I feel trying to avoid Regulus.”

 

“You live with him two months of the year Sirius, is it really necessary to avoid him at school just to prove a point that you’re different from the rest of your family?”

 

Apparently, that had been a bad thing to say.  Sirius’s handsome face went red and he slammed his glass of pumpkin juice down on the table so hard that some of it spilled over the sides.  “Not anymore,” he said stiffly as James began trying to clean up the mess his best friend had made.

 

“I’m a little confused,” Lily admitted.  “Not anymore what?”

 

“I don’t live with him anymore.  And he’s not my brother.”

 

Lily had not been expecting that, but before she had the chance to answer him, James said, “It’s nearly time to go to class.”  He had barely finished speaking before Sirius had picked up his bag and started making his way out of the Great Hall.

 

Lily looked at him for a few seconds, before turning to James.  “I didn’t know things were that bad between them,” she said softly.  “Do you think I should catch up to him to apologize?”

 

James shook his head.  “It only happened this summer.  He showed up on my doorstep with his trunk one night and my parents took him in.  Give him a few minutes alone to cool off so he doesn’t bite your head off.  I should really get going though and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.  I’ll see you in Potions.”  She nodded as he got up and left.

 

She finished eating a few minutes later and began making her own way down to the dungeons alongside two other Gryffindors who were taking the class.  They went to sit at one of the tables on the side of the room, while Lily looked around for her friends.  She let out a small sigh when she realized that not only had Liv and Naomi chosen to share a table with James and Sirius, but that the only seat that was available for her was beside James.  She really was going to need to start getting to her classes earlier, so she could choose where she wanted to sit.

 

As James had suspected earlier, Slughorn soon came over to their table to tell them that he was having what he claimed would be just a little party.  Lily felt bad for Naomi, who was the only one at their table not invited, but she didn’t seem to mind.  Liv had been invited because she was brilliant, in addition to being the daughter of two respected Unspeakables.  James and Sirius were also bright and came from respected families.  She was only invited because of her Potion skills and because Slughorn seemed to be incredibly fond of her for some reason.

 

After class the boys said they were going to the hospital wing to see Remus.  Slughorn had hardly dismissed them before they had taken off, their school supplies stuffed hastily into their bags.  They brought their heads close together as they walked out, clearly deep in a conversation that they did not want anybody to overhear.

 

The three girls walked out of the dungeon together a couple minutes later.  Unlike the boys, Lily and Liv insisted on keeping their potions kits clean and in order.  Naomi was not as concerned about the matter, but seemed to go along with it simply to resist the protests of her friends now that they were the only three in the class.

 

Naomi was telling them some gossip about what was happening with the Hufflepuffs in their year.  She didn’t bother keeping her voice low despite the topic and she waved her hands as she spoke for emphasis.  She didn’t mind when people looked at her, which probably was a good thing was given her bold fashion choices.  Whenever any of the girls wanted to know what was happening with other students, she was the one to ask.  This was partially because she was a bubbly Hufflepuff who would talk to anybody and partially because she was often involved in the gossip.  Naomi had an hourglass shape and liked to flirt, so she was often involved in drama, despite her friendliness.

 

By the time they had left the dungeons, Naomi had them all laughing at a story about the drama of Hufflepuff’s Quidditch try-outs.  Apparently one of the people trying out had nearly slipped off their broom in mid-air, arms flailing in a missed attempt at catching the Quaffle.  One of the other students trying out as a Chaser had been unable to stop laughing, even when he was supposed to be catching the ball.  Either because he was distracted or because he underestimated the third year girl who was passing to him, the pass from thirteen-year-old Caroline Paddington hit him square in the face.

 

“Naturally, he didn’t make the team,” Naomi said.  “But the arm on Paddington got Tim’s attention, so she’s in.  You should have seen the look on Nathan’s face as he watched it all unfold.”

 

Thinking back to when they were in first year, Lily imagined how the boys in her year would have reacted to that sort of slapstick humour.  “Was he giggling harder than the guy who got the ball in the face?”

 

“You would think, but he was mainly seemed concerned about what his first flying lesson would be like after watching everybody else on their brooms messing up.”

 

“He does realize they’re just flying, right?” Liv asked.  “He won’t have a Quaffle thrown at his face.”

 

“Pip and I told him that, but I think the idea of flying on a broomstick is enough to stress him out,” Naomi replied.  “He made a comment about brooms being for sweeping, not transportation.”

 

Lily could sympathize with Nathan.  Even though his sister had gotten her Hogwarts letter five years earlier, their parents and their middle sister were Muggles.  The entirety of his exposure to the magical world had been Naomi’s school supplies and a few trips to Diagon Alley.  (The first of which had apparently involved seven-year-old Nathan being scared by a hag outside the ice cream parlour.)  It was a bit more than she’d had to prepare herself for Hogwarts, but evidently it was not enough to make him feel comfortable.

 

She couldn’t help but feel like Nathan was rather lucky for a Muggleborn student, because he had an older sister to hold his hand through all of it.  Rather than having a supportive sister, the older sister she was once close to had taken to calling her a freak whenever they were out of earshot of their parents and, on occasion, when they were within earshot.

 

More than that, she knew Nathan was lucky because he was experiencing the wonder of Hogwarts for the first time.  He didn’t know about the dangers that Muggleborns were facing or about the disappearances, mysterious activities, and even deaths that were reported in the _Daily Prophet_.  She and Naomi had discussed matters amongst themselves on a semi-regular basis, so she knew Naomi had come to the same conclusion she had about informing their relatives of the horrors taking place in the magical world.  At least for now, when he was new to the magical community and completely uninterested in the _Daily Prophet_ , Nathan would be able to keep his innocence.  At some point Naomi would have to sit down with him and explain things and Lily would probably join along, to make sure he listened.  For the time being, Lily was glad that his biggest worry about the magical world was that he was going to take a Quaffle to the face.


	5. Gryffindor's Quidditch Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James's first duty as Quidditch captain: Quidditch try-outs.

**Chapter Four – Gryffindor’s Quidditch Team**

 

 

“Lily, wake up!  If you want to have time to eat before the Quidditch tryouts start you’re going to need to get out of bed.”

 

Lily was not in the mood to wake up.  Memories of the previous night were still weighing heavily on her mind and they had made it difficult to sleep.  She had spent several hours comforting a second year girl at McGonagall’s request.  The girl’s father had been at work the previous day, but seemed to have disappeared without a trace.  The girl was understandably distraught, but Lily had found it difficult to make her feel better without outright lying.  She desperately wanted to say tell the other girl that her father would show up unharmed, but it was very difficult to believe in the current climate.

 

Lily had listened as McGonagall spoke to the girl, reading mostly from a letter on her desk.  Apparently, the girl’s father was some sort of investigator.  At times he worked for the Ministry but, by the sounds of things, he had a meeting with a private client on the day he disappeared.  Her mother wasn’t sure what the name of the client was and, with no way to track him down, there was no way of knowing when or where he disappeared.

 

As the girl cried Lily had done her best to comfort her, but it was hard to know what to say.  He could have run into trouble for providing services to Muggleborns, for looking into something connected to the Death Eaters, or even been hired by a Death Eater to trap him.  She tried to be hopeful when the girl asked her questions, but it was hard to do without lying.  People disappearing was never good, but with what as going on in their world lately?  A disappearance probably meant death.

 

Trying to force the memory out of her mind, Lily opened one eye so she could get a good look at her best friend.  Aurora was standing beside her bed, already dressed in Quidditch appropriate attire with her honey coloured hair pulled back in a ponytail, grinning.  This was one of the few things that she actually liked about school and Lily knew it.  She had been dragged along to see Aurora try out every single year since second year.  Thankfully, she had made the team the last two years so Lily didn’t have to deal with the grumpiness that had followed Quidditch tryouts in second and third year.

 

In her first year Severus had been the one who had dragged her to watch Quidditch tryouts, since she knew nothing of the sport and he felt that she should at least get a basic sense of the game.  They had watched together every year since, so she could cheer on her best friend and Severus could mutter mean things about James Potter while she nodded along.  She was very aware that this was going to be the first year she went to watch Quidditch tryouts without him.

 

She tried to forget about Severus as she followed Aurora out of their dorm and towards the Great Hall. The Gryffindor table was much fuller than any of the other three houses’ table, since a good deal of the students were Quidditch fans, trying out for the team, cheering for their friends, or a mixture of the three.  Lily felt obligated to cheer on Aurora, who had helped to make her a fan of the game over the previous five years.  She was nowhere near as obsessive as the fans who had grown up with it, but she did think that it was an interesting way to spend an afternoon every now and then.

 

Aurora made a beeline to a group of four Gryffindor students who were sitting near the end of the long table, chatting eagerly about how this was the start of the Quidditch season.  They were not a group that usually spent a lot of time together, but they all had one thing in common: they had been on last year’s team.

 

Sitting at the very end of the table was Sirius.  He was wearing a Gryffindor jumper and talking animatedly with his hands, gesturing wildly.  He had a heaping plate of toast, eggs, and beans in front of him, but seemed to be too excited to eat any of it.  Across from him was his fellow Beater, fifth year Lyle Crockford.  He had made the team two years prior like Aurora, beating out a very bitter Sirius.  Lyle didn’t seem anything like Sirius at first glance.  He was a couple inches shorter, much more muscular, and had curly light brown hair in addition to being a lot quieter than his fellow Beater.  But Lyle also had a wicked sense of humour and knew just about everything there was to know about Quidditch, which meant that he and Sirius still got along quite well.

 

Beside Sirius was Lance MacFarlan, a seventh year who had been on the team nearly as long as James had.  Even though he was the oldest player, he had been the one who had taken Ronan Spencer under his wing when he had joined the team as their Seeker the previous year.  Ronan was now a third year and still the youngest member of the team by two years.  He was awkwardly picking at his bacon, seemingly uncomfortable with either the people he was sitting with or the fact that he would soon be competing in front of a large crowd.

 

“Where’s James?” Aurora asked, sliding onto the bench beside her teammates.  She served herself eggs and bacon, two of her favourites, dumping lots of pepper on the former.

 

“He got up at the crack of dawn this morning,” Sirius said.  He rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed with the disturbance to his sleep.  “He was all worried about whether or not he would be able to pull of his first duty as captain properly so he’s already at the pitch.”

 

Lily couldn’t remember having ever seeing James nervous before.  On the contrary, he was so full of self-confidence that he often crossed over the line to arrogance.  It seemed especially strange that the thing that had made him nervous was Quidditch, which he was clearly talented at.  If he wasn’t bothered by acting like an idiot in front of people, Lily had no idea why he would be nervous now.  He didn’t even have to fly for Merlin’s sake.  All he had to do was stand around and judge other people, which he seemed to enjoy from the comments she’d heard him throw around in previous years.  She knew her thoughts wouldn’t be appreciated now though, so she bit her tongue and sat down next to Aurora.

 

The team walked down to the Quidditch Pitch together, although Aurora and Lily fell behind due to the fact that Aurora was at least six inches shorter than all of the boys and had a much shorter stride.  “I can’t decide if I want James to pick a female Keeper this year,” Aurora mused, kicking a rock with the toe of her shoe as they walked.

 

“Why not?” Lily asked.

 

“On one hand, if the new Keeper is a girl, then there will be somebody else I can share a changing room with and I can have a female friend who can actually discuss Quidditch with me properly.  Oh, don’t look at me like that, you come to the matches but you know you can’t have an in depth discussion about it.  Anyway, if I’m the only girl on the team then I can have Sirius and Lance and James all to myself.”

 

Lily couldn’t help but shake her head and chuckle.  “We all know how you dating Sirius turns out, and I don’t want to try that again.”

 

“Just because we broke up on Valentine’s Day that one time doesn’t mean it was all bad!” Aurora said defensively.  “There was a lot of good stuff when I dated him as well.”

 

“Like the other times you broke up?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Aurora said.  “I like to keep my options open.”

 

Lily laughed.  Aurora was one of those people who seemed to like the idea of falling in love and being in a relationship more than she actually liked having a steady boyfriend.  The rush of the chase was more her speed than a quiet evening with somebody she’d been dating for a while.  “Are you telling me that you’d let a third year girl get in your way if you really wanted to date one of those guys?”

 

Aurora grinned.  “Of course not.  But I’d rather not deal with all the inner-team drama that comes with love triangles.”

 

“Is there no inner-team drama when two members of the team have been dating, sleep together, and break up?”

 

“Nope,” Aurora said.  “Sirius and I have clearly gotten over breaking up more than once.  It’s women’s cattiness that can break up a team.  Sirius doesn’t hold a grudge.”

 

Lily didn’t say it out loud, but she was glad that Sirius didn’t hold grudges because Aurora had been known to hold things against people.  She had disliked Snape simply because he was a Slytherin and, Lily suspected, because he and Lily had been close for so long.  It had been Snape that she had been opposed to the most, but she was prejudiced against Slytherins in general because of the bad things associated with their house.  Even amongst their group of friends, Aurora and Liv had butted heads years ago and the friendship between the two stubborn girls had never quite been the same.

 

By that time they had reached the Quidditch Pitch, where a crowd was already gathering.  James was looking over the people who were walking across the grounds.  Sirius was talking to him, but he didn’t seem to be paying too much attention.  When he caught sight of Lily and Aurora, he smiled.  “Rory, the people trying out as Chasers are over there,” he said, pointing to a group that had gathered closest to the stands.

 

“I just came to watch,” Lily said as he turned towards her.  “I’ll just… go sit down now.”

 

She began climbing up in the stands, until she reached the third highest row.  She sat down and looked out over the pitch.  It was a beautiful day for Quidditch tryouts, with a slight breeze and the kind of cloudy sky that Aurora had said was ideal for a match.

 

A male voice interrupted her thoughts asked, “Do you mind if we sit here?”

 

She looked up to see Peter and Remus standing nearby, with two of the other sixth year Gryffindor boys several steps behind them, and she shook her head.  “No problem,” she said, moving down the bench a bit.  “Come to cheer on James and Sirius I presume?”

 

“Sirius doesn’t need the cheering, he’s confident that he’ll make the team,” Peter said.  “It’s weird.  Sirius actually has to try out but he spent all morning laughing and joking.  James knows that he’s on the team and was a nervous wreck last night.  He’s convinced that he’s going to ruin the team.”

 

“They haven’t won in three years.  They didn’t even make the final match last year,” Remus pointed out.  “It would be easier to improve their standings than decrease them.”

 

It was true.  There had been a Ravenclaw versus Slytherin final match the previous year.  Hufflepuff, which had won the two years prior, and Gryffindor had nearly tied for last place.  Gryffindor had been ninety points out of the finals and it had clearly not been one of their team’s better years.  Their Captain and Keeper had been bitter when he graduated, extremely unhappy about the way his playing career at Hogwarts had ended.

 

Claire and her Hufflepuff boyfriend arrived just as James was calling the tryouts to start, so they slid onto a bench quietly.  “Er… welcome everybody.  I’m James Potter and I’m the new Gryffindor team captain.  I am a Chaser and I’ve been on the team since we won in the spring of ’73.”  He looked around at all of the people who were watching him and ran his hand through his hair.  “Even though all six spots are open besides mine, Keeper is the only one where the player who held the position last year is no longer here.”

 

“So far so good James,” Peter muttered, leaning forward to take it all in.  Beside him, Remus was staring at his friend quietly, fingertips pressed against his lips.  Lily thought it was sweet how nervous they were for their friend.

 

James seemed to have gained more confidence now that his introduction was done.  In a louder and clearer voice, he said, “We will be starting with Seeker tryouts.”

 

It didn’t take long for young Ronan Spencer to get his job as Seeker back.  He was beaming as James gave him the good news and a pat on the back, then ran off to sit with his friends in the stands to watch the rest of the tryouts.  Almost immediately James was calling for the Beaters.  It did not take very long to realize that most of the people who were trying out for the position had difficulty aiming the bludgers properly, so Sirius and Lyle also got their positions as Beaters back.  The two boys clanked their bats together as they got off of the pitch. Lyle hurried off to sit beside Ronan, while Sirius messed up James’s hair and laughed as his best friend shoved him away.

 

James then called the Chasers onto the pitch.  The most people were trying out as Chasers, so it took the longest for him to weed his way through the group.  After half an hour, James had finally made his decision and announced that Aurora and Lance were back on the team, which meant that the only position left to be decided was Keeper.

 

As the morning had worn on, more people had made their way down to the Quidditch Pitch.  There were now some people from other houses who had come to see the tryouts, in addition to some of the Gryffindors who valued their sleep more than they valued Quidditch.  There were eight people trying out as Keeper, ranging from third year to seventh year.

 

James had a brief exchange with Aurora and Lance, who were soon remounting their brooms and making their way back up into the air.  Looking around at everybody who was watching, James grinned as he reached for a broom of his own.

 

“I thought he didn’t have to fly,” Claire said as James kicked off from the ground and joined the other Chasers in the air.

 

“He doesn’t,” Remus said, “but I think he wants to see how good each of the potential Keepers is against all of them.  It makes sense that James would send some shots their way, since he’s the best Chaser we have.”

 

If it had been James or Sirius who had said that, Lily would have rolled her eyes and told them to stop being obnoxious.  Yet she didn’t tell Remus off, because she knew that he was being honest.  There was no denying that James was an amazing Chaser.  He was able to move more smoothly than anybody else today and seemed perfectly at ease on his broom.  Even though people were now paying attention to him and not just the people trying out, he seemed much more relaxed than he had when he was watching from the ground.

 

After all eight of the potential Keepers had faced shots from the three Chasers, it was clear who was going to be made the team’s newest Keeper.  The only one who had managed to stop all ten of the shots that she faced was Athena Young, a slight fourth year who was the younger sister of one of Lily and Aurora’s dorm mates.  She was still beaming when James announced that tryouts were over and that the team had been chosen.

 

Lily began making her way down to where Aurora, James, and Sirius were standing.  When she got closer, she could hear James saying, “I think that went pretty well.  I mean, I didn’t make a complete tosser of myself and people seemed to listen to me.  That’s a good sign… right?”

 

“Mate, you’re rambling,” Remus said rather loudly, so his voice would carry to his friend.  When they reached the Quidditch players, Remus clapped James on the shoulder.  “You did a great job.  You can handle this, you know a lot about Quidditch.  This is one job you will actually be good at.”  Remus smirked at the last part, but James didn’t seem to notice.

 

“I hope so,” James said, running his hand through his hair.  “I mean, if I can handle tryouts than practices can’t be much harder.  Since there will be less people and all.”

 

Peter said, “That’s the spirit!” at the same time that Sirius said, “Don’t forget about matches!” with a wide grin on his face.

 

James glared at Sirius, but the others laughed at his expense.  Thankfully for James, they got over teasing him fairly quickly and moved on to other topics on their way up to the castle.

 

“Does anybody know when the first Hogsmeade trip will be?” Claire asked.  “Gary and I are looking forward to going.”  She looked up at her boyfriend with a smile when she mentioned him.  Gary Malkin was a Hufflepuff she had been partnered up with in Charms the previous year and they had really hit it off.  Claire loved fashion and design, a passion she shared with Gary’s mother, who owned a robe shop in Diagon Alley.  The two had started dating at the end of their fifth year, after the final Hogsmeade trip, so they hadn’t had the chance to go on a proper date while they were at school yet.

 

“Late October?” Remus said, looking at Lily for confirmation.

 

She nodded.  “The weekend before Halloween, if I’m not mistaken.”

 

Claire sighed.  “That’s too bad.”

 

“You can come watch our Quidditch games to stay amused,” Aurora offered.  “Do you remember how boring it was in second year when we were stuck in this place for ten months, except for Christmas and Easter holidays?”

 

By that time, they had reached the castle again.  The sounds of people talking and using their cutlery was audible once they got into the Entrance Hall.  “Lunch time already?” James said, looking down at is watch.  “Huh.  Tryouts took longer than I was expecting them too.”

 

“They did,” Peter agreed, “and I’m starving.”

 

“You weren’t even doing anything.  All you did was sit around and watch us do all the hard work for a couple hours!” Sirius said.  He and Peter made their way to the Great Hall, bickering the entire way to the Gryffindor table about if Peter had the right to complain about being hungry or not, since he had not just played a sport while Sirius had.

 

Once they had all settled around the table and had started piling food onto their plates, Lily turned to Aurora and whispered, “Are you still sure you would consider dating him again?”

 

Aurora shrugged.  “His immaturity never stopped me before,” she whispered back with a quiet giggle, “but I’ve got my eye on somebody else.”

 

“Who?” Lily asked eagerly.

 

Aurora made an odd gesture with her head, pointing vaguely in what Lily thought was the direction of the Hufflepuff table.  It was hard to know for sure when the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables were in the same direction.

 

“That was specific,” Lily whispered sarcastically.

 

“We can talk about it later,” Aurora whispered back.  She then joined in the conversation that the rest of the group was having.  Lily knew then she wasn’t going to get any more information about who her best friend had her eye on.


	6. A Proposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James presses Sirius's buttons and Julius Avery talks to his fellow Slytherins.

**Chapter Five – A Proposition**

 

 

The days that followed Quidditch tryouts passed without a lot of fuss.  After his confrontation with James the first day of classes, Snape had avoided contacting her.  There had been several times when she had felt like somebody was staring at her and she saw _him_ when she looked up, but she was pointedly ignoring him and she hadn’t actually had to speak with him in three weeks.  Even though she didn’t like James’s methods or the fact that he seemed to think it was necessary that he stand up for her, Lily had to admit that his comments were somehow much more effective at keeping Snape out of her hair than her own had been.  Maybe it was because Snape knew that James wouldn’t be afraid to hex him if he didn’t back off, while she would have to go against what she’d said in the past about hexing classmates if she shot a curse at him in anything other than self-defence.

 

Lily had spent a lot of her week sitting around one of the trees outside with her friends, Gary, and the four Gryffindor boys.  It was still fairly nice outside, so they were taking every chance they could to get their fresh air before the Scottish autumn came full-force.  Spending time with the boys wasn’t nearly as bad as she had been expecting it.  If the boys hadn’t hexed or jinxed anybody in the halls yet she wasn’t aware of it.  There hadn’t been any ridiculous pranks that could only be attributed to them.

 

She was pleasantly surprised by how peaceful they were being to the other students and how much more mature they were than when they had finished fifth year.  She was starting to think that maybe they had actually changed when on a Thursday evening, it became clear that somebody just couldn’t seem to resist the temptation of pranking any longer.

 

Around six o’clock, everybody had gathered in the Great Hall to eat.  Sirius had been complaining for many minutes that he was hungry, using his grumbling belly to finally convince the others to go get supper with him.  Lily was still getting herself settled in when Sirius had a plate full of food in front of him.  He took a big bite out of a chicken thigh eagerly, but made a face almost instantly.

 

“Sweet Merlin,” he said, looking down at the chicken.  “That does not taste like chicken.  Remus, does this smell right to you?”

 

He shoved the drumstick under Remus’s nose, leaving the other boy no choice but to take a sniff.  “I think so.  It’s not pink or anything on the inside, so it’s cooked at least.”

 

“Odd,” Sirius said, spinning it between his fingers as he inspected it.  Hesitantly, he took another bite out of the meat.  He made another face and swallowed it quickly.  “That’s disgusting, it tastes like Brussel sprouts.”  He took a big gulp of milk to wash away the taste, but seemed equally confused afterwards.  “That was much more pleasant, but that was not milk.  That was… apple pie?”

 

By this point, the people around him were starting to look at him like he was losing his mind.  “Try it if you don’t believe me,” he said, shoving his drumstick under Remus’s nose once more.  “You tell me that this doesn’t taste weird to you.”

 

Remus rolled his eyes, but took a bite to appease Sirius.  He reached for his own drink almost immediately.  “Fucking hell,” he sputtered as he brought his glass to his mouth.  “I see what you mean about the chicken, but my milk definitely does not taste like pie.”

 

Sirius looked down at the chicken as though it might be poisonous.  “Anybody else want a bite?  Rory, Lily?”

 

Lily shook her head.  “I’ll take your word for it.”

 

“Same here,” Aurora said.

 

Sirius dropped the drumstick on the far edge of his plate, keeping it away from all of his other food as though it might contaminate it.  They all resumed eating quietly, including Sirius, but their silence did not last long.  “What the fuck is wrong with my food?” he exclaimed rather loudly, staring down at his plate intently.  “These cannot be potatoes if they taste like pork.  Why do my potatoes taste like roast pork?”

 

Everybody was looking at him again.  Most of them seemed amused by what was going on.  Lily and Aurora exchanged a look, each having already eaten some potatoes of their own without incident.  Peter was trying to calm Sirius down, Remus seemed to be contemplating what was happening, and on Lily’s other side James…  James’s shoulders were shaking with laughter.

 

Lily looked down at James’s hands.  His right one was resting on his knee, gripping his wand tightly in his hand and pointing it in Sirius’s direction.  Sirius seemed to have realized this at the same times as Lily, because he was suddenly shaking his head at his best friend.  “You little...” he said, letting his voice trail off.

 

“I had to see if the spell would actually work,” James said in a tone of mock innocence.  “You’ll eat anything, so I didn’t think you would mind if I tested it out on your food.”

 

Sirius looked at James for a moment.  An evil grin spreading across his face as picked up a handful of potatoes and threw them at his best friend.  James lifted up his arm quickly, using it to protect his face, and the mashed potatoes landed on the sleeve of his school robe.

 

It looked as though James was going to throw what was left of the potatoes back at Sirius, but a stern voice called out, “Sirius Black!  Ten points from Gryffindor.  This is not a zoo.”

 

Sirius looked over Lily’s shoulder to the Hufflepuff table, where the Head Boy was sitting and staring at him, eyebrows raised.  “Sorry, won’t happen again,” Sirius assured the Head Boy, who resumed talking to his friends.  Once it was clear that he was no longer paying attention, Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to Remus and Lily.  “I want you to promise us all right now that if either of you two become Heads next year you won’t ruin all of our fun in our last year.”

 

It was Lily’s turn to roll her eyes.  “If by that you mean that you want me to let you do whatever you feel like, no, I will not give you special treatment if I become Head Girl next year.  And when has Remus ever ruined your fun?”

 

“He has a few times,” Peter said defensively.

 

“I did that even before I was Prefect,” Remus said.  “And don’t deny that sometimes one of you thinks an idea is stupid too.”

 

The others had nothing to counter him with, so they let the topic die.  It was Aurora who spoke next.  “Are you going to freak out at them again if they do something to the Slytherins?”  Over the years, Aurora had always appreciated a good prank being pulled on the Slytherins.  She would never admit it to Lily’s face, but Lily could also tell that she was sometimes quite pleased when a Slytherin got a good hexing.  This seemed to be especially true with Snape.

 

Lily knew that they had not been fond of each other.  This dislike had been expressed silently on Severus’s part, more or less, but Aurora would occasionally go on rants about him being gross, having creepy friends, and him needing a good shampoo.  It had taken five years, but Aurora had become her only best friend and she was clearly very happy about it.

 

Lily looked over her shoulder to the Slytherin table at the far end of the Great Hall.  Snape’s back was to her, but she was able to spot the faces of some of his good friends, including Mulciber and Rossier.  She was thinking of all the things Snape had let slip to her over the years about them, which had been enough for her to piece together that they had a strong desire to become Death Eaters when they were done school.  That was first sign that should have clicked in her head, telling her to run as fast as she could in the other direction from Snape.

 

“We’ll see what you can get away with if it happens,” she said, not wanting to commit one way or another.  “But they are probably the kind of people that you don’t want to be making enemies with in times like these.”

 

“Somebody has to stand up to them,” James said.  Across the table, Peter nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

 

Even though she didn’t agree with their methods, Lily had to agree with the sentiment.  Something strange must have been happening with the stars aligning for her to be getting along with the boys so well and even agreeing with James Potter.  Or perhaps it had nothing to do with the stars at all, and was simply a result of all of the horrible things He Who Must Not Be Named was causing in the world outside of Hogwarts.  Only yesterday the evening copy of the Daily Prophet had stated that Gwendolyn Griffiths, their Muggleborn Defense Against the Dark Arts professor from the year before, had been reported missing.

 

The noise level around them went up again as the boys began talking about what they were going to do for Sirius’s seventeenth birthday the following month.  He would be the first of the Gryffindors to turn seventeen this year, and he was insisting that the celebration for him be big.  He had a long wish list about what the party was to involve, some of the items more ridiculous than the next.  Firewhisky, a massive cake, helium filled balloons (apparently, Peter had shown Sirius that sucking in the helium from the balloon would make your voice higher, which amused Sirius greatly), and good music were the first four things on his list, after which Lily began to zone out.

 

Aurora elbowed Lily in the ribs.  “Why so glum?” she whispered.

 

“I’m not, not really,” Lily said.  “I’ve just been thinking about what you were saying about bothering the Slytherins and me not standing up for them.  When did I stop hating them,” she waved her hand around at the boys, “and their methods?  When did I stop defending the other students?”

 

“When Snape called you a Mudblood,” Aurora said with a dark look in her eyes.  “You finally realized that he was an ass who called all Muggleborns vile names and that his friends… well, his friends are evil and obnoxious.”

 

There really wasn’t a way to deny that, so Lily didn’t even try to.  She had spent so many years trying to convince herself otherwise, but deep down, she had always known it was true.

 

“Cheer up, you get to sleep in tomorrow.  You only have class with Pirate before the weekend,” Aurora said.  “When we get back to the common room you can play chess or something with me.  I’ll let you win.”

 

Lily laughed.  Aurora had a big heart and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, but she wasn’t logical.  In fact, Lily couldn’t remember a single time that Aurora had beaten anybody at chess in the five years that they had been at Hogwarts.  “Thanks for the offer, but you can try if you want.”

 

“I think it will all amount to the same thing.”  Aurora laughed at her own expense.  “If you want the competition, maybe you should choose somebody else to play against.”

 

 

________________________________

 

 

Down in the dungeons, long after the other students had gone to bed, a group of four sixteen year old boys had gathered in front of the once fire that had now burned itself down to embers.  Three of the boys were sitting, while the fourth stood with his back to the others as he stared into what remained of the fire.  They had been silent for several minutes, the three sitting boys waiting for the one who was standing to speak.

 

Julius Avery turned around to face his friends.  His tall frame blocked out much of the light that the fire was giving off and his shadow stretched across the floor.  He looked at the three other boys intently, examining them before he finally spoke.  “I have a proposition to all of you, one that would bring honour to your families while getting rid of the filth in this school.”

 

The three other boys were listening intently and seemed to be hanging onto every word that Avery was saying.  “What’s this offer?” asked Anthony Wilkes.  He pushed a blond curl off of his forehead and leaned forward, eager to know more.  It was a well-known fact that he thought that Muggles and Muggleborns were a drain on wizarding society that should have been dealt with years ago.  His dark eyes shone at the prospect of eliminating them.

 

“One of my father’s friends from school, and I’m sure you know which one I’m talking about, has let me know that he has a… need or desire or what have you for Hogwarts students.”

 

This got the attention of the other two boys.  Thor Mulciber, a short and stocky boy with a crew cut and icy blue eyes uncrossed his arms from over his chest and, for the first time that day, seemed to be truly interested in what was going on.  Even though he was Avery’s closest friend, he had no idea that Avery had met the Dark Lord.  The idea that the Dark Lord wanted Hogwarts students was positively thrilling to him.  “Why would he want students like us?” he asked quietly.

 

Next to Mulciber, Evan Rossier also seemed intrigued at the idea.  He was much quieter than the other boys and did not speak, but his brown eyes lit up at the idea of working for the Dark Lord.  Anything that he could do to get rid of the pesky Mudbloods that roamed the halls was worth doing in his mind.

 

“I can’t tell you yet,” Avery said mysteriously.  He knew that this would make him seem even more impressive to his friends, but that was only half of the reason he said it.  In truth, he did not know what the Dark Lord’s plans for them were yet.  Despite the fact that his father had proven loyal to Voldemort over the past few decades, the younger Avery was not yet trusted with any of the Dark Lord’s plans.  He had yet to prove himself capable of doing the Dark Lord’s bidding.  Recruiting other students to the cause, despite not knowing exactly what it would entail, was his first assignment.

 

Even though Avery was not able to tell them what the assignment would entail, the other three boys were quick to say that they would be willing to help the Dark Lord in the cleansing of the wizarding population.  This pleased Avery, because it meant that he had not let the Dark Lord down on his first assignment.  He knew what happened to people who failed repeatedly and he had vowed to never be one of them.

 

The four boys then began to discuss the other three boys in their year.  The discussion of whether or not they should tell Rigel Black and Bradley Quinton, whom they rarely spent time with but they had no reason to dislike, about the Dark Lord’s wishes was a quick and unanimous no.  While most of the Black family, with the exception of the traitor Sirius, were proud of their pureblood heritage, it could not be known if Rigel shared his distant cousin’s blood traitor tendencies or not.  For now, it was safest to simply exclude them.

 

The discussion about what to do with Severus Snape, on the other hand, was much more complicated.  He rarely spoke of his father, but it was known that his mother had been a member of the Prince family, who did not have much money but were purebloods nevertheless.  The problem with Snape was that his best friend had not been a pureblood or even a half-blood, but had been a Gryffindor Mudblood.  Although he had cut all ties with her after he had called her a Mudblood, Snape’s close relationship with Evans made it difficult to know if they could trust him or not.

 

After a long discussion, the four boys came to an agreement.  They would keep a very close eye on Snape over the next two weeks and try to figure out where he stood on all of the most important issues that faced their society.  At the end of the two weeks, the four of them would decide if Snape could be trusted or not.  If he could, then he would be the fifth Sixth Year that joined the Dark Lord’s cause.


	7. 99... Red Balloons?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patronuses and pranks.

**Chapter Six – 99… Red Balloons?**

 

 

The weekend passed much too quickly and before they knew it, Tuesday morning had arrived and it was time for a double period of Defence Against the Dark Arts for the students who were pursuing it at NEWT level.

 

So far, they had focused on shield charms.  It was not an exceptionally difficult spell, so Lily was confident in her skills by the end of the second class.  And, from the sound of the last class, nearly everybody had managed to perform a satisfactory charm.  Professor Montgomery had an upbeat attitude about it all, which had rubbed off on the students.  While she had been explaining it, Lily did her best to pay attention.  It was obviously a very useful bit of defensive magic and she had an unsettling feeling she would need to know how to do it well in the future.

 

Lily immediately could see a difference in Professor Montgomery’s mood that Tuesday.  She was leaning against her desk as the students filed in, watching as they made their way to their seats in silence whereas she would usually be greeting them and asking questions.  Aurora and Lily sat together at one table, speculating about what they would be focusing on, while Claire and Gary sat at the table in front of them.  Liv arrived a few minutes later and grabbed the seat across from Aurora.  Even though she was sitting beside another Ravenclaw, she ignored him and began to chat with her friends.

 

Lily’s minute hand was still on the hour when Professor Montgomery began the lesson.  “The spell that you are going to be learning today is an exceptionally difficult one, one that is usually not taught until several months into your seventh year.”

 

This got everybody’s attention.  Lily sat up straighter in her seat and picked up her quill so she was ready to take notes.  The other students around her also showed signs of interest, which the professor seemed quite pleased by.  Picking up a piece of chalk, the professor wrote a single word on the board.  Moving out of the way so everybody could read it, she asked, “Now, who can tell me about Dementors?”

 

Lily stopped spinning her quill between her fingers as her stomach lurched.  To her right, Aurora whispered, “Damn.”  All around her, there were other similar reactions, as people realized that anything they were going to be learning about Dementors was bound to be unpleasant.  After a brief thought about what Dementors were and what they caused, the next thought that drifted through Lily’s mind were memories of a young, dark haired boy sitting under a tree telling her about them and her older sister eavesdropping.

 

The professor called on a Ravenclaw, who answered, “They are soulless creatures that cause you to forget all of your happy memories and only relive the worst moments of your life.  They even cause the weather to be gloomy.  They’re also the guards of Azkaban.”

 

“A very simple answer, but all of those points are true,” said Professor Montgomery.  “They are horrible creatures, causing despair wherever they go.  It is true that they can affect the weather as well, which they typically do in the form of increased rain and fog.”

 

Lily knew all of this, so she hadn’t bothered to use her quill yet.  However, the next thing that the professor mentioned was news to her.  “It has been theorize that the increased number of rainy and foggy days directly around Azkaban is a result of an increasing number of Dementors.”

 

“Aren’t Dementors strictly controlled by the Ministry of Magic?” asked one of the Slytherin girls.

 

“Yes, that is correct,” replied the professor.

 

“So wouldn’t the Ministry know if more of them were being created?” asked the same girl.

 

“Under ideal circumstances, yes.  Dementors have been under the control of the Ministry of Magic for centuries, although various Dark witches and wizards throughout the years have tried to get them to turn on the Ministry so they could use the Dementors for their own gain.  A Dementor does not have a sense of right and wrong, nor does it take well to being under a person’s control.  They have the desire to spread fear and sadness, and they do not have a preference of where or to whom they spread their misery.  For these reasons, it is important that you all know how to fight Dementors.”

 

Professor Montgomery stood up straighter and said, “There is one incantation that can protect you from Dementors, but it is difficult to conjure properly.  You must place all of your focus on the happiest memory you have.  Today, it might not be difficult to come up with a time when you were happiest but I can assure you that in the presence of a real Dementor, it is much more difficult.”  The professor picked her wand up off of her desk and spun it around her slender fingers as she spoke.  “The incantation that we will be practicing is ‘expecto patronum’, which, if you are focusing hard enough on your happy memory, will result in the production of a Patronus.  Can anybody tell me what a Patronus is?”

 

For a moment there was silence, but from the back of the room James said, “It acts like a shield between you and the Dementor, doesn’t it?  That way they won’t affect you.”

 

“That’s right Mr Potter,” replied Professor Montgomery.  “Muggles are at a severe disadvantage when it comes to Patronuses, since they obviously cannot create them.  However, the effects of a Dementor can also be felt by Muggles, who can’t see them and are left melancholy and confused.  This is why the Patronus Charm is one of the few that is allowed in front of a Muggle, as it can help save the lives of both parties.  However, it is exceptionally rare for Muggles to be near Dementors, who are usually contained in Azkaban.

 

“Today we will be practising the Patronus Charm.  I do not expect any of you to be able to produce a corporeal Patronus today.  That is, one that has a fully defined figure.  You will most likely start with a silvery mist, which as you improve will take the form of an animal.  It is thought that the animal one’s Patronus takes reflects their personality.  A person’s animagus form is usually the same as a person’s Patronus.  For example, Professor McGonagall’s Patronus and animagus forms are both cats.”

 

“What is yours Professor?” asked a blonde girl in the front row.

 

Professor Montgomery smiled.  Pushing a brown curl behind her ear, she cried out, “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”

 

Out of her wand came a large zebra, which galloped around the room.  It had almost a ghostly sense to it, comprised entirely of shades of a silvery grey, but it seemed to be almost glowing.  When it reached Professor Montgomery again, it vanished into thin air.

 

After the Professor’s example, everybody was eager to start practising their own Patronuses.  The tables were moved out of the way, so there was a large empty space in the middle of the room for the large class to work in.

 

“I have no idea what memory I should choose,” Liv grumbled.

 

Lily nodded in agreement, flicking through memories in her mind.  It was a lot easier to choose your happiest memory in theory than it was in reality.  A lot of her memories that had been happy at the time were no longer blissful, since they had been tarnished by events that had happened since.  Most of her childhood memories with Petunia had lost some of their happiness when Lily’s magic had torn them apart.  She had been thrilled when she had found out that she was magic, when she had gotten her first Hogwarts letter, and when she had first arrived at Hogwarts.  The problem was that all of those memories were so closely tied to and dependent upon her friendship with Severus that now that they were not on speaking terms, they couldn’t be described as the best moments of her life.

 

She settled on the memory of when a very strangely dressed man had appeared on her parents’ front step over five years ago, with the intent of explaining that Lily was a witch to Mr and Mrs Evans.  Lily had been thrilled that here it was, proof that Severus hadn’t been lying to her about being magic that she had squealed in front of the Deputy Headmaster.  It had been quite embarrassing to see him around afterwards, but thankfully she had never taken Arithmancy so she didn’t need to interact with him on a regular basis.

 

Deciding that this was worth a shot, Lily took a deep breath.  Feeling like a bit of an idiot, she firmly called out, “ _Expecto patronum!_ ”  A bit of silvery grey mist came out of her wand.  In her surprise, she forgot to focus, so it disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared.  She looked around at her friends, to see if any of them had noticed what she had accomplished, but they were focusing on producing Patronuses of their own.  Liv’s beautiful features were contorted in concentration, the tip of Aurora’s tongue was poking out of her mouth, and Claire was muttering to herself very quietly in her native French.  She was about to tell them to look, but across the room there was a loud whoop.

 

The Slytherin boys were patting Snape on the back and he was grinning.  He was surrounded by the most mist that anybody had been able to conjure.  Snape was looking around at the Patronus he had created, when Lily saw his eyes land on her through it.  He gave her half a smile but she scowled at him, and his Patronus vanished.  Lily couldn’t help but feel happy about ruining his happy memory, which she strongly suspected had had something to do with her.

 

Like the professor had predicted, none of them had managed to produce a corporeal Patronus by the time class was done.  When class was through and they were all making their way down to the Great Hall for lunch, Lily could hear the four boys grumbling behind her.  “Did you see the way they were cheering, just because Snape got a load of mist out of his wand?  What load of crap,” James said.

 

“It didn’t even look like anything,” Peter agreed.  “Not that it’s surprising.  What do you think is slimy enough for Snivellus anyway?”

 

“An eel,” Remus said with a laugh.  “Or maybe a slug.”

 

Lily glanced at them over her shoulder.  “It’s not like they were celebrating any more than you two do whenever you’re the first to get something.”

 

“He didn’t really get the spell though,” Remus said.  “He was just the first one to get that much mist.  If he is the first one to get a corporeal one, then I’ll be impressed.”

 

“Why are you defending them anyway?” Sirius said, glaring back at her.

 

“Because you’re hypocrites,” she snapped back.  “Cheering like mad when James is the first one to vanish his frog and then freaking out at the Slytherins for cheering when one of them does something right.  It’s obnoxious.”

 

The four boys exchanged a look.  “We didn’t mean to bug you,” Peter said, looking at her somewhat timidly.  He had seen her go off on James plenty of times and he clearly didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of her angry rants.

 

“Geez Lily,” Aurora said when Lily turned back around.  “Give them a break.  It was annoying.  They can be… overzealous too, but still.”

 

Aurora had a point.  “I suppose,” Lily conceded.

 

They were silent until they reached the Great Hall and had begun eating.  The four boys were at the far end of the table, hunched over their plates and talking quietly.  It was something that Lily had seen them do many times before, and it always seemed to result in trouble.  Thankfully, nobody had to wait long before they figured out what they had been planning.

 

That evening, the three Gryffindor girls could hear a lot of commotion when they were heading down to eat supper.  “What’d you reckon is going on?” Aurora asked.

 

Claire shrugged.  “Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem too bad.”

 

At first glance, it appeared that Claire was right.  From the top of the stairs, the girls could see that the Entrance Hall was filled with what looked like balloons at first glance.  The spheres in varying shades of red and were floating close to six feet in the air.  The noise that they had heard on their way down was the sound of dozens of students talking and standing around, trying to figure out what these balloon-like objects were for.

 

As the seconds passed, more and more students were coming into the Entrance Hall from the directions of their respective common rooms.  Four of the students were sixth year Gryffindor boys.  At first glance they seemed surprised by what was going on, but Lily could tell that they were pretending to be just as confused as everybody else.  After five years with them, she knew that this had their fingerprints all over it.

 

“Isn’t this a sight,” Remus said nonchalantly, stopping a couple steps farther up the staircase than the girls.

 

Lily raised an eyebrow.  “What are you planning exactly?”

 

“Nothing,” said James, much too innocently to be believable.

 

A shriek came from the Entrance Hall then.  Lily turned around once more, looking for the sound of the noise.  It was hard to tell with so many people gathered around, especially when the spheres were low enough to block out the view of some of their heads.

 

Behind her, Sirius could be heard clearly, despite the noise of all of the students.  “Excellent.  Looks like the Slytherins have decided to come up.”

 

The spheres were thicker near the entrance to the dungeons and many of the balloon-like objects were floating lower.  Snape was near the front of the front of the group, looking around in confusion.  He lifted a hand to push away a small tomato red sphere that had floated almost directly in front of his face.  Before his hand had even made contact with it Peter giggled behind Lily, instantly confirming her suspicions about them being behind whatever was going on.

 

The second Snape’s hand came in contact with the sphere, it moved not in the direction he pushed it, but directly over his head.  There, it burst open and a stream of light green liquid came pouring out of it onto his head.

 

“Excellent,” James said quietly, almost directly behind Lily.  “What are the odds that Snivelly would pick one with shampoo in it?”

 

“Irony at its finest,” Remus replied, seeming quite pleased at this fact.

 

Lily was about to ask if this meant that the spheres didn’t all contain the same thing, when Snape bumped into another one while trying to get the shampoo out of his eyes.  Once again, it floated up until it was directly over his head before bursting open.  This time, what appeared to be white down feathers made their way down through the air and attached themselves onto the shampoo that was covering Snape.

 

His friends didn’t seem too bothered by what had just happened to him from the way they were laughing.  That was, until Mulciber bumped into another one, which poured what looked like honey onto his head.  While he was trying to rub it off, his elbow shoved Avery, which started a chain reaction.

 

Within moments, the spheres were floating and bursting everywhere.  In their dash to get away from them, students were crashing into each other, tripping, and accidentally brushing against other spheres that only increased the chaos.  It looked as though the boys had been very creative with what they had managed to fill the orbs with.  It looked as though there were also flower petals, shaving cream, confetti, in addition to various colours of slime pouring out all over the Entrance Hall.

 

“Bloody brilliant,” Aurora whispered, watching in awe as the students below were covered in all sorts of materials.

 

Lily sighed.  In theory, it was quite an interesting idea, she had to give the boys that.  However, it didn’t seem right to let her fellow students be covered in goo and confetti at supper time.  Pulling her wand out of her robe pocket, she said, “Redu—”

 

She didn’t get the chance to finish casting the spell before she heard somebody take a step towards her, which was followed almost instantly by a hand clapping over her mouth.  “Shh,” a voice whispered.  His breath sent a shiver down her spine.  “If you try to get rid of them with magic, all of the ones you aimed at will come over here to dump their contents on you.”

 

James slowly removed his hand from her mouth and she turned around to face him.  “Why did you stop me?”

 

His eyebrows furrowed together.  “I didn’t want you covered in tiny pieces of parchment or flower petals or who knows what else.  I don’t even remember half of what’s in there.”

 

“But you’re fine with all of them being covered in slime right before they want to eat?” she asked.

 

He opened and closed his mouth a few times as though he was trying to decide exactly what to say, but in the end, he said nothing.  After several seconds Sirius rolled his eyes and seemed to decide that it was up to him to speak on James’s behalf.  “You’re thick.”

 

“Excuse me?” Lily asked angrily, glaring at him.

 

“Seriously, you have no idea why –”

 

“Sirius,” Remus said warningly.

 

“No, I won’t shut up,” Sirius said, “and I know that’s what you’re hoping for.  She’s only rejected him what?  Two dozen times?  I wouldn’t think it would take a genius to figure out what’s going on.”

 

James shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes and glared at his best mate.  The look was so intense that Sirius ended up asking, “What?” in a very confused voice.

 

Ignoring the others, James made his way down the stairs and towards the Great Hall.  The prank had been quick, as once Snape had caused two spheres to burst there was a chain reaction as people tried to escape the commotion.  James was able to make his way easily through the Entrance Hall and through the tall doors that lead into the Great Hall.

 

“You better go apologize to him,” Remus said.

 

Sirius grumbled.  “Fine, if he’s going to be such a pussy about it.”  Turning to the others, he asked, “You guys coming?”

 

They made their way to the Great Hall, taking the same path that James had chosen to avoid the few straggling spheres that had yet to burst.  Sirius was in the lead, as he so liked to be, and Lily allowed herself to drift back, pulling up the rear.

 

She found it strange that while the four boys had been talking about her, they had done so as though she wasn’t there and like she was unable to hear what they were saying.  What Sirius had said made sense, if James had actually been asking her out because he wanted to take her out on a date and not solely to bother Snape.  She had never been so sure about it herself.  He had never been mean to her directly, at least not that she could remember, so it was not an entirely farfetched possibility.  However, he so clearly hated Snape that she had never been able to give it much of a thought.  Hadn’t she told Severus that herself years ago?

 

If James had only been asking her out all these years to bother Severus, which she didn’t find to be an outrageous theory, it would fit how he had changed from the previous year to this one.  He had stopped asking her out as soon as she had stopped being friends with Severus.  In fact, this year he hadn’t made any embarrassing, awkward public displays of affection at all.  The only reason she was starting to doubt this was because of how he had reacted when Sirius made the comment about him having asked her out a couple dozen times.  It had flustered James, and that rarely happened.  It the comment had truly bothered him that much, maybe Sirius was being honest.  It was a lot to think about.


	8. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily, Aurora, and Claire have some girl talk in the Gryffindor Common Room.

**Chapter Seven – Girl Talk**

 

The next few nights in Gryffindor Tower were quieter than usual.  The professors had easily pinpointed the four boys as the ones who had pulled off the prank, which meant that Gryffindor was now down twenty points and each of the boys had detentions to serve.

 

The absence of the boys and the silence that came with it gave the girls the ability to sit around in the common room without being pestered or spoken to every few minutes.  On late Thursday evening, after several of the younger students had already gone to bed, Aurora, Lily, and Claire were left in the common room nearly alone.

 

“Do you two think it’s time for some girl talk?” Claire asked.  The thick, dog-eared novel she had spent most of the last week reading closed with a loud snap as the hard cover fell down.

 

“Definitely, we haven’t had the chance in _ages_ with the guys around,” Aurora said.  She made her way over to the comfortable, well-worn armchair that they all loved.  She ran her fingers over the armrest.  Lily knew that she was feeling the grooves of corduroy with her fingertips, as she was prone to do when distracted.  Aurora called, “You going to join us Lily?”

 

“Sure,” Lily said.  She had some more reading to do for Care of Magical Creatures the next afternoon and she knew she should finish it, but the prospect of getting to hang out with her friends without the guys hanging around was too tempting.  She slipped her textbook into her school bag and moved from the table to the cushion beside Claire.

 

The other girl shook her head.  “Let me braid your hair,” she said, gesturing for Lily to sit on the floor at her feet.

 

Lily was willing to oblige.  Claire was very soft spoken and appeared almost delicate at times, and her gentleness found its way into her skills at doing hair as well.  Claire was the fourth of five children born to parents who had emigrated from France with their children when Claire was a toddler.  Claire couldn’t remember France and considered Britain home, but she would still sometimes speak French with her siblings.  In fact, earlier that evening she and her seventh year brother, Gilbert, had had a long conversation in fluent French.

 

“What exactly do you want to talk about?” Lily asked, relaxing as Claire’s fingers combed out the day’s knots from her red locks.

 

Aurora sighed at the question.  “I just said that I thought we should have some girl talk, that’s all,” she said dramatically.  “I didn’t say that there was something in particular.”

 

“You always have something on your mind when you suggest girl talk Rora,” Claire said, chuckling. Her fingers were deftly smoothing a section near the bottom of Lily’s hair.

 

Aurora looked grumpy.  Lily knew that Aurora wasn’t happy that her motive had been found out so quickly.  “Well, I’ve been having a bit of a dilemma.  I mean, there’s obviously Sirius –”

 

“Been there, done that,” Lily replied, putting particular emphasis on the ‘done that’.  She raised her eyebrows for extra emphasis.

 

Aurora rolled her eyes.  “You’re just a jealous virgin,” she laughed.  “But there’s also a couple of other people, so I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Who are the other two?” Claire asked.

 

“Do you know Michael Chambers, the Ravenclaw?”  Aurora was leaning at an awkward angle in her chair, her upper body stretched over the arm, as though somebody might be trying to eavesdrop on their conversation.

 

“Yeah, the good looking blond guy who passed out toads in Transfiguration.  But he’s dating Bethany Doyle,” Lily said.  Despite the tugging at her roots as Claire began to plait (French, by the feel of things), Lily relaxed.  She couldn’t help but think of how much she missed having conversations like this, just the three of them, in the common room or up in their dorm all the time.  Between the noise of the common room, their three other dorm mates, NEWT level homework, Lily’s prefect duties, and Aurora’s Quidditch matches

 

“Damn,” Aurora said.  “Anyway, there is a third guy who I think is cute but… I don’t know.  You know Leo Fitzgerald?”

 

“You mean Leonardo?” Claire said, fighting back a giggle.  She spoke in an over-the-top accent that Lily could only assume was supposed to be Italian.

 

Aurora rolled her eyes.  “Have you ever actually heard anybody call him that?” When neither of them replied, she said, “Exactly.  Anyway, it’s not his fault he has a weird name.  And it’s better than _Sirius_ of all things.”

 

Lily admitted that they had to give her that one.  “Why are you confused about him?”

 

“Well, he went on a few dates with Naomi,” she said.

 

“I doubt Naomi would mind,” Lily assured her quite confidently.  Naomi had gone on dates with a lot of different people, but had never seen anybody for longer than a few months.  She suspected that her fellow Muggleborn liked the chase better than actually dating.  Because of that, Lily doubted that Naomi would even hesitate to tell Aurora to start flirting with Leo.

 

Aurora nodded before turning to Claire.  “How are things going with you and Gary?”

 

Claire beamed.  “Great,” she said, sighing happily.  “He’s so wonderful and sweet and cute and…”  She let her sentence hang in the air as she finished up Lily’s plait.  “There, you’re all done now.”

 

Lily was pushing herself up off the floor when Aurora asked, “What was the last thing you were going to say?  That he’s sweet and cute and what exactly?”

 

It was Claire’s turn to go pink.  Her eyes were shining as she said, “If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anybody.”

 

“We promise,” Lily and Aurora said together.

 

“I… I think I love him,” she said softly, a smile creeping over her cheeks.  “I haven’t told him yet, so you really can’t tell anybody, but… that’s it.  I think I love Gary.”

 

Aurora let out a squeal and pushed past Lily to give Claire a hug.  “That’s awesome!” she said.  “Are you going to tell him soon?”

 

Claire nodded.  “I was thinking I will tomorrow.”

 

The girls chatted about this new development for several more minutes, as Claire began to work at fixing Aurora’s hair.  Claire was in the middle of getting the knots out of Aurora’s hair when, without looking up from what she was doing, she asked, “How about you Lily?  How’s your love life going right now?  Anybody you want to talk to us about?”

 

“No,” she said slowly.  “There’s nothing happening for me in that department.”

 

“Are you sure?” Claire asked, sounding disappointed.  She was quite the romantic and clearly wanted all of her friends to fall in love, like she had apparently just done.

 

“Well, there have been a couple of things that confused me lately,” Lily admitted.

 

“Tell us,” Aurora said.  It was an order, or at least as much of an order as such a statement could be between friends.

 

Lily sighed.  “I guess it involves two people.”

 

A wide grin came over Aurora’s face then.  “Here we were, being led to believe that you had absolutely nothing going on in your love life and there are two different people that have been confusing you?  Tell us what’s going on.”

 

Lily started with the comments that had been made between James and Snape on the first day of Potions class, right after it had ended.  She went over James’s accusation that Snape had been looking at her, that Snape implied similar things about James, and how they both ignored her even though they were talking about her.  She ended by saying, “And even though I know it makes no sense, a part of me wonders if what James was saying was true.”

 

“That Snape looked at you?” Aurora asked.  She was evidently confused.  Clearly, this was not the sort of scandalous love triangle she had been hoping to hear about.

 

“Not just that,” Lily said, “but what he implied with it.”

 

“James thinks that Snape had a crush on you?” Claire asked quietly, her pale eyebrows furrowing together.  “Then why would he have called you a… you know…”

 

“That’s the part I don’t get either.  Which is why I thought that James was just being an ass to Snape again, like usual.  But a small part of me keeps thinking that if it was a lie, why didn’t he just say so and deny it?  Why did he not take a chance to put James in his place?”

 

This seemed to have stumped them as much as it had done to me.  “Maybe he really did like you then,” Claire said, after several moments of silence.  She looked as confused as Lily felt.

 

“But then why would he call me a Mudblood?  Why would he throw away everything?  Six years of friendship and he got rid of it all just like that!”  She could feel herself getting worked up and struggled to keep her voice quiet.

 

“I know it was hard Lily,” Claire said gently.  “But none of us will be able to tell you exactly what he’s thinking, since we don’t know him.  Even when you two were friends, we didn’t hang out with you when you were with him.”

 

Lily didn’t say anything.  This was not the answer she had hoped for.  In an obvious attempt to distract her from the Snape scenario, Aurora asked, “So, who is this other guy who’s been giving you trouble lately?”

 

“James Potter.”

 

Their reactions made it clear that this had not been the name that they were expecting.  Aurora’s eyebrows had nearly disappeared into her hairline and her mouth was slightly open, while Claire whispered, “Sacre bloody bleu.”

 

“I don’t like him, you don’t have to act so surprised,” Lily said.  “I just mean that the way he has been acting has been confusing me lately.”

 

“What’s he been doing that’s confusing you?” Aurora asked.

 

She told them about everything that had been weighing on her mind over the past few days.  She explained that when it had become clear that he no longer planned to ask her out in weird or embarrassing ways, she thought that it had been because he had been doing it to bother Severus back when they were friends.  Because if there was one way to annoy him continuously, it would be to date his only female friend.

 

“But…?” Aurora asked, smiling slightly.

 

“But then Snape made that comment about how James had apparently been looking at me strangely for years.  But if I think that he was looking at me because he liked me and he was doing it in the same way that Severus was –”

 

“Calm.  Down.”  Claire raised a hand.  “What else?”

 

“Well, I had told myself that neither one could have been looking at me like that because, frankly, I don’t want to have to deal with those two feeling that way about me.  But then the other day Sirius made a comment after I asked why James was okay with everybody else being covered in slime, but not me.”

 

“When he said it shouldn’t take a genius to figure it out?” Aurora asked.

 

Lily nodded.  “Exactly.  Then he brought up me turning him down all those times and it clearly struck a nerve with James that Sirius brought it up, so I started thinking that maybe he wasn’t just asking me out to bother Snape.”

 

Claire smirked and Aurora rolled her eyes.  “We could have told you that years ago.”

 

“Then why didn’t you?” Lily exclaimed.  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see a seventh year who was working on an essay in the corner look at her, but she ignored him.

 

“We thought you knew,” Claire said simply.

 

Lily thought about this for a moment.  “All of you?”

 

Aurora and Claire exchanged a look.  “Yes.”

 

“Everybody?  Liv and Pip and Naomi too?  Why didn’t any of you think to give me a head’s up?  A ‘by the way, James Potter isn’t asking you out just to bug Severus, he’s doing it at least partially because he fancies you’ would have been nice.”

 

“We thought you knew,” Aurora said, repeating Claire’s words.  “We thought you could tell by the way he looks at you.”

 

“Well, clearly I couldn’t,” Lily grumbled.

 

“Would it have made a difference?” Aurora asked, looking at Lily seriously.

 

Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, before shaking her head and answering.  “No.  I couldn’t have done that to Severus, even if James wasn’t a pompous ass.”

 

“What about now?” Claire asked.

 

Lily looked at her two friends and furrowed her brow.  Claire was sitting on the couch, leaning forward slightly with her long blonde hair falling over her shoulders.  Her naturally large eyes were wider than usual, and she clearly wanted an answer.  Aurora was still on the floor at Claire’s feet, even though her honey coloured hair was now pulled back off of her face.  “Well?” she asked.

 

“No,” Lily said.  She thought it was probably louder than was necessary, but she wanted to make sure that she got the point across.

 

“Why not?” Aurora asked.

 

“Why won’t you let the subject drop?” Lily asked.  She was getting frustrated.  She and Aurora had already had different versions of this conversation several times over the years.  Aurora didn’t think that James was such a bad guy, but that was probably from a mix of the fact that she didn’t mind him hexing Slytherins and they had been playing Quidditch together for years.

 

“Because you won’t tell us why, and don’t say that you have over the years.  I don’t think he’s hexed anybody for fun this year.”

 

Lily rolled her eyes.  “Letting half the student body get covered in sticky concoctions and little things that would stick to the goo also counts as annoying people Rora,” she said.  “If he’s not so bad, why didn’t you ask him out back when you had a crush on him?”  
  
Claire let out a small giggle, which was mostly covered by Aurora’s laugh.  “Come on Lil.  That was back in _first year_.  I was eleven!”

 

“Okay, fair point,” Lily conceded.  “But what about Claire then?  Why didn’t she ever do anything about it?”

 

Claire blushed.  Her crush had lasted quite a while for the age they were, but she had been much too shy to ask him out on a date.  “It was more of a… physical attraction.  I knew we wouldn’t be compatible.  Plus, we had only just started been allowed Hogsmeade visits when I stopped liking him.”

 

This wasn’t working as easily as Lily had been hoping for.  “Why does it matter why I don’t want to deal with him anyway?  I hang out with the guys because you want to and I don’t complain.  Can’t you be happy with that?”

 

“I think she wants to set you up with somebody,” Claire said thoughtfully.  She had pulled her legs up against her body and was resting her chin on her knees.  Lily was uncomfortable by how intently Claire was looking at her.  Claire was able to read her friends quite well and Lily didn’t want her every move being analyzed when James Potter was in the vicinity.

 

“But why James Potter of all people?”

 

“He’d treat you right you know,” Aurora said quietly.

 

Lily rubbed her temples with her fingertips.  She had no idea what to say to that.  She couldn’t prove that he wouldn’t, but Aurora couldn’t prove that he would.  None of them had any idea of how he treated his girlfriends.  He wasn’t known for dating, he spent his time with his friends and occasionally playing Quidditch rather than with girls.  “I said that I wasn’t interested.”

 

“I know,” Aurora said.  “But if you could give being friends with Snape a chance, then you should be able to give James a chance.”

 

Claire whispered, “You’re pushing it Rora.”  Lily wondered if she was supposed to be able to hear it.  She thought not.

 

Lily was thankful that Aurora let the subject lie, because the four Gryffindor boys made their way into the common room then.  Peter came in first, eating a cupcake as he looked back to see the rest of his friends.  Sirius followed behind, dark hair falling across his face, gripping onto a bottle of butterbeer and a pastry.  James followed at his heels, ignoring the brightly frosted cupcake in his hands and instead was laughing at something one of the others had just said.  Remus, who had been bringing up the rear, took a bite of his chocolate éclair as he made eye contact with Lily.

 

Remus quickly shoved the rest of his éclair in his mouth and elbowed James, who in turn elbowed Sirius, who grabbed the back of Peter’s robes.  Slowly, all four of them turned to face her.

 

“What have you four been up to?” Lily asked.  She had stood up and made her way around to behind the couch that Aurora and Claire were sitting on, so she was closer to the boys.  Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Claire turn to see what was going on and Aurora clamour up onto the couch.

 

“We went to the kitchens,” Sirius said casually.  “Detention can make you work up quite the appetite, you know.”

 

“You all should have been back here before curfew,” Lily said.  “Your detentions ended an hour ago and you should have come up here immediately.”

 

“We didn’t think it was a big deal,” James said.  “We were hungry, so… someone suggested we went to the kitchens to get a snack.  We had to rush through dinner today, you see.”

 

Lily glared at him.  “You’re not supposed to be in the kitchens, ever.”

 

“The house elves don’t mind, Lily,” Peter said, smiling.  “I promise.  You can ask them, they’ll tell you.  I think they wish more people would go see them actually.  It gives them something to do.”

 

“I don’t care if you did this out of kindness to house elves, you are not supposed to be wandering the corridors after curfew.”  She tried to make eye contact with Remus, who was standing near the back of the group and looking up at the staircases towards the dorms.  Her voice softened as she said, “Remus, you know this.”

 

His gaze drifted back to her.  “It won’t happen again Lily,” he said.

 

She couldn’t help but smirk a bit.  “You said that last year.  In fact, you promised to put an end to it when I found out you were Prefect.”

 

“It’s nothing serious, I promise,” he said.  “We’re not putting anybody at risk and we don’t let the younger kids see us.  Can’t you just give us a warning?”

 

Lily gritted her teeth.  “I’ll let you off easy.  Five points from Gryffindor for being in the corridors after hours.”  The boys seemed surprised at their good fortune, so she didn’t hesitate to add, “Next time, it will be a detention each.  Now go upstairs.”  For once, they four boys did as they were told without complaints.


	9. Slipping Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius's birthday invitations cause a problem for James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: For those of you who are interested, I have a short story collection entitled A Million Little Things that is now being posted as well.  The stories in it are all focused on Lily’s friends (and Lily, of course) in their first five years at Hogwarts.  At the beginning you can see how some of the inter-house friendships first formed and later chapters cover some of the big events in the years that followed.  Some of these events have been referenced in the main story (ex. Aurora and Sirius breaking up on Valentine’s Day).
> 
>  
> 
> And now, speaking of Sirius, he is about to turn 17.  This chapter introduces my first point of view switch.  Enjoy!

 

 

**Chapter Eight – Slipping Back**

 

The start of October brought the usual fall-related events.  The weather grew colder, Quidditch schedules were posted in the Common Room, the date for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year was announced, and Sirius began talking about his birthday.

 

Sirius was the first of the four boys to have a birthday by several months, since the next one to turn seventeen would be Remus in mid-March.  His birthday was also before any of Lily’s friends, the first of whom would turn seventeen would be Liv in November.  Sirius was making it clear that he thought that his seventeenth birthday was going to be very important, since it was the first.  He promised everybody that it would be memorable, even though he would not share what he had planned.

 

Monday the forth of October rolled around and it did not take Lily long to see that Sirius had meant it when he had promised that his birthday would be big.  When the girls entered the Great Hall, they could see banners hanging from the enchanted ceiling with the number ‘17’ on them over the Gryffindor table.  The girls exchanged looks and said, in unison, “Sirius.”

 

“I thought his birthday wasn’t for a week,” Claire mused.

 

“It’s not,” Aurora replied.  Naturally Aurora would know exactly when his birthday was, Lily thought.  “I’m expecting more from him later.  Although, starting this far before his birthday is new.”

 

Lily had to agree.  “I’m surprised too,” she admitted, “but let’s hope we’re not going to have some big fiasco.”

 

“We don’t want him to spend all of his birthday being yelled at or in detention after all,” Claire said with a grin.  “I want to see what he has in store this year.”

 

Although she wouldn’t admit that she was looking forward to it, Lily wanted to see what the boys had in store this year, too.  When they were in third year they had convinced the house elves that instead of having a proper dinner first, that they should serve strictly birthday cakes for the first half hour of dinner.  Last year, Sirius had asked all of the pretty girls that he passed if they’d like to slap his ass in the “grand Muggle tradition of something known as ‘birthday bumps’.”  Lily hadn’t turned down the opportunity to slap him, although she did it cleanly across his right cheek instead of his butt.  She hoped that this year would be more similar to third year than last year in terms of his plan.

 

The four boys filed into the Great Hall several minutes later, talking and laughing.  She was happy to see that they weren’t looking around the room or even paying attention to anybody else, which was a usually good sign that they didn’t have anything up their sleeves.  Whenever they had a prank planned one of them, usually Peter, would give them away by looking in the direction the action was supposed to be happening in.  This morning, they walked to the Gryffindor table normally, so Lily relaxed.

 

Everything was starting to feel like any other Monday morning when the Owl Post arrived.  As usual, Lily looked up to see if any of the owls were heading towards her, even though she rarely got mail.  Her green eyes widened as she saw dozens of owls that were bright scarlet flying above.

 

“I hope he didn’t hurt them,” Claire murmured, glancing down the table to where the boys were sitting.

 

“I bet they just used a colour changing charm on them,” Aurora assured her.

 

Three of the red owls swooped low and landed in a line on the table in front of Lily, Aurora, and Claire then.  One by one they held out their legs, where rolls of parchment had been tied on.  Once they were relieved of their letters, they flew back up into the midst of owls that were flying above the tables.  Lily unfurled the parchment and read what was written on it.

 

_Lily Evans:_

_You’re invited to my birthday party.  I won’t tell you more than this, but it’s this weekend.  If you agree to keep the secret, I’ll let you know more when it’s closer to the date of the party._

_Hope you can come,_

_Sirius_

_P.S. You should come as James’s date.  He’d really appreciate it._

 

Lily’s eyebrows furrowed.  She looked over Claire’s shoulder and saw the same message, without the ‘P.S.’ at the bottom.  Gritting her teeth, she stood up and made her way down the table to where Sirius was talking with his friends and laughing.  She whacked him over the head with her invitation.

 

“What was that for?” he grumbled.  Once he faced her, he grinned.  “Want to be the first to reply Lily?  You that excited to come?”

 

“What was this about?” she asked angrily, shoving the post script under his nose.  “Or should I ask you?” she asked, turning to James.  “Think this was the best way to ask a girl to be your date?”

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, pulling the parchment towards him.  As he read it his eyes widened.  Evidently, he stomped on Sirius’s foot under the table because Sirius let out a yelp.

 

“What were you thinking?” he asked Sirius, at the same time that those same words reached him from an angry Lily.

 

James spun around quickly and ignored Sirius, who was talking about wanting to be helpful.  “I swear I didn’t tell him to add it Lily,” he said.  “I wouldn’t ask you like that, I’ve always asked you in person.  I was going to ask you, but Sirius had to meddle.”

 

It was true that he had only asked her out in person, but she didn’t care to hear it, especially not when he had just mentioned that even though he hadn’t been behind the letter, he had still intended to ask her to be his date later.  “I thought you two had grown up since last year.”  Speaking specifically to James, she said, “I thought that maybe Aurora was right and could be friends without you trying to ask me out all the time.”

 

“I didn’t!” James practically yelled.

 

Lily didn’t say anything, but walked away and back to where she had been sitting.  Even if he hadn’t told Sirius to ask her, he still had planned to ask her later.  Why couldn’t he just let things stay the way they had been?  She had been spending time with him and having proper conversations with him, but he still had to go and try to ruin it by asking her out.

 

 

____________________________

 

 

James watched Lily walk away, before turning and punching Sirius in the arm.  “Thanks for fucking up my chances with her,” he snapped.

 

“You were going to ask her anyway, I thought I’d help!” Sirius said defensively.  “It’s not like she would have taken it any better if you had marched up to her and asked her.”

 

Whether this was true or not, James didn’t want to hear it.  “You don’t know that,” he grumbled.  “We were getting along.”

 

Sirius opened his mouth to counter him with what Lily had said just before she left, but across the table Remus and Peter were shaking their heads fervently.  It was best not to pick a fight with James when he and Lily had just argued.  In the past, he had been known to punch or hex anybody who purposefully got on his nerves immediately after.  In fact, Snape’s laughter when he and Lily argued had caused James to hex Snape several times over the years.

 

James tried his best to ignore Sirius throughout the rest of the meal, but Sirius was not the easiest person to ignore.  When he asked what was wrong every few minutes, he wore James down.  By the end of breakfast they were speaking again, although James kept bringing up that Sirius had ruined what he had built up with Lily.

 

Throughout the day, he kept trying to make eye contact with Lily and smile at her, but she was avoiding his gaze.  Lily’s coldness ruined the excitement that he had felt on Sirius’s birthday the past five years.  He tried to keep up his spirit for Sirius’s sake, but it was difficult when Lily was now angry at him for something he didn’t do.

 

After dinner, Sirius seemed to finally realize that James just wasn’t that excited about his birthday this year.  “Are you still upset about the whole Lily thing mate?” he asked.

 

James was lying back on his four poster bed, staring up absentmindedly as he replayed the events of the day, feeling sorry for himself.  He didn’t answer right away, making Sirius wait, but he finally said, “Yes.”

 

“Look, I’m sorry if what I said upset you earlier.  Or her.  But you have to get over it.”

 

James glared at Sirius.  He was rather enjoying moping.  “Why?”

 

Sirius grinned.  “Because we have a map to work on.”

 

That got James’s attention.  “You want to go downstairs to get the others?”

 

Sirius shook his head.  “I already mentioned it to them, they should be up in a second.”  As he spoke he was rummaging around in James’s trunk, where they had been keeping their precious map since they had started working on it years ago.  Sirius placed what they had come to affectionately call the Marauder’s Map on James’s bed gingerly.  If they wanted their map to reach its full potential, they would need to figure out how to properly enchant it.  They had already come up with a password (“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good”) and a code to wipe it clean (“Mischief managed”).  The real trouble that they were having was with the people.

 

None of the Marauders, as they called themselves in private, could remember exactly how the idea for the map had originally come about.  It was a stroke of brilliance, so they all liked to claim that it had been their idea.  James suspected it had been Remus, back when they were twelve.  Whoever it was had mentioned how brilliant it would be if the map, which was nowhere near as detailed as it was now, could tell you where everybody in the castle was at any given moment.  Now, after nearly two years of intense work on actually making the damn thing, they were still trying to figure out exactly what kinds of enchantments they would need to accomplish it.

 

The fact that they shared a dorm with three others limited their ability to do the research they needed.  Thankfully Jack, Forrest, and Matthew were friends with three of the girls in their year, so they decided to spend that night downstairs gave the Marauders time to do the research they needed.  He, Sirius, and Remus spent the better part of three hours poring over old spell books they had taken out of the library in their effort to perfect their secret map.  Peter was the artist of the group, so he was sketching in the final part they had remaining with a Muggle pencil: the grounds.  Peter had spent time outside with all of them over the past couple weeks, measuring distances and making sure they weren’t missing anything before he finalized his drawings.

 

Their DADA class the next morning provided James with a much needed distraction.  He found a lot of the work they were doing in class too easy, so he often found himself staring at the back of Lily’s head, wondering how he should talk with her.  The benefit of actually being challenged was that amount of concentration it took him to try to make a proper Patronus meant that he couldn’t afford to let himself get distracted by her.

 

“I don’t know if I’m choosing a strong enough memory,” Peter whined after several minutes.  The tip of his tongue had been poking out of his mouth has he had contorted his face in concentration.  Even so, he had hardly gotten anything to come out of his wand.  “What memories are you guys using?”

 

James looked at Sirius and Remus.  Sirius suddenly appeared to be very interested in what was going on across the room, while Remus’s cheeks went pink and he mumbled something.

 

“Come again, Moony,” Peter said.

 

Remus stepped closer rather than speaking up.  “I said I was thinking of when you guys decided that you would become… you know… so I wouldn’t be alone.”

 

James grinned and Peter nodded.  He turned to Sirius and asked, “What about you?”

 

“Something from this summer,” Sirius said.

 

“Something with a girl?” Peter asked, grinning.

 

Sirius shook his head.  He made eye contact with James for a second and, suddenly, James knew what his best friend was talking about.  He saw Sirius standing on his front stoop, shaggy hair dripping water down his face due to the rain, with his trunk beside him.  James’s father had welcomed him in, no questions asked.  Later that night, when Sirius was nursing a spiked coffee and explaining what had happened, James’s mother had said she always wished she had his father had been able to have more kids and that Sirius would be staying with them.  Just like that, he and Sirius had become brothers.

 

Not speaking, James clapped his best friend on the shoulder.  Turning to the others, he said, “I’ve been having difficulty choosing something too Pete, don’t worry.”

 

Slowly, others in the class began to get things that resembled animals.  The Marauders expressed their sadness that what Snape cast wasn’t something slimy, but was rather something monstrously large, although they disagreed on what it was.  Sirius managed to get what looked like the head of a dog before losing concentration a few moments later, which James cheered him on for.

 

Most of the way through the lesson, Liv Madley actually cast a proper swan.  The silvery white Patronus slid around the room gracefully, earning Liv 15 points for Ravenclaw.  As the Patronus made its way back to its caster, James’s eyes drifted to Lily.  She was standing next to her friend, red hair falling across her shoulders and with a big smile on her gorgeous face.  Concentrating on her, James gripped his wand tighter and said, “ _Expecto patronum_!”

 

A stag burst forth from the end of his wand, antlers first with the rest following almost immediately after.  The stag cantered around the room, faster than Liv’s swan had, before heading back towards him.  As it neared him, James looked over his shoulder to his friends.  Peter looked impressed and Sirius was grinning.  Remus, a smaller smile on his lips, whispered, “Prongs through and through, I guess.”

 

Looking back at the stag, James couldn’t help but think of his animagus and grin.

 

 

 

 

He tried on several different occasions over the next few days to get Lily alone so he could explain to her what had actually happened, but he was not having any luck.  She was being civil to him, but was no longer engaging in friendly conversation nor did she offer him tips during Thursday’s potions class.  She was in a better mood than he had seen her in all week at the end of class, after Slughorn had exclaimed that her potion was one of the best he had seen by a student in his many years of teaching, and James decided to take a chance again.

 

He dawdled when he was cleaning up, waiting until Lily had finished talking to Professor Slughorn to leave.  “Hello,” he said with a smile, holding the door open for her as she was leaving the classroom.

 

“Hello,” she said stiffly, brushing past him without making small talk.  It stung that she did not look back to see if he was following her, or even to thank him for holding the door open for her.

 

James took a deep breath.  He rarely had difficulty in life, but this was one of the times he did. “Lily, I want to apologize,” he called out.  She stopped and his heart beat faster in his chest.  He hated apologizing, especially for something that he didn’t do in the first place, but he would do it if it meant she would talk to him again.

 

“For what?” she asked.  She didn’t move, which James took as a good sign.

 

“For what Sirius wrote on your invitation.  And for telling you I would have asked you to be my date anyway.”  He was trying very hard not to run his hand through his hair.  It was his nervous tick, but Aurora had mentioned that it annoyed Lily because she thought he did it to look like he had just been flying.  Ever since she had mentioned it, he tried to keep it to a minimum in front of her.

 

He had made his way closer to her and she stood her ground.  He was now only a few feet from her, looking into her gorgeous green eyes that he liked so much.  He wished that he could be alone with her more often; that she would enjoy his company as much as he enjoyed hers.  “Are you apologizing because you mean it or because you think it’s what I want to hear?”

 

James swallowed hard.  “I’m apologizing for annoying you, even though I’m not sure why you were upset in the first place.”

 

“Why can’t you just be happy that we were becoming friends?” she asked.  She was speaking quietly, which surprised him.  He had braced himself for her to get angry and yell at him, like she had done so many times before.

 

“I think you know why.”  He couldn’t help it, he had to run his hand through his hair.  She just made him so damn nervous.  Why did he have to open his mouth and say that she knew why?  What if she didn’t?  Even worse, what if she did and she told him that it was never going to happen?  She had told him this before, of course, but he had never really believed it.  He had always thought that she would change her mind if he could just become friends with her and make her see what he was really like when Snape wasn’t around.  If she told him off now, it would be a much harder blow than before.

 

When Lily didn’t start yelling, James began to relax a little.  “I might know why,” she admitted, “but that doesn’t mean that you can just… you can’t just do that James!  I need to know that I can trust you and that you’re not hexing people behind my back, planning on blowing up half the Great Hall, and that you want more than to get in my knickers.”  Her face was growing redder and redder as she spoke, while her voice got increasingly louder.  He really wished that what had started as a simple apology wasn’t going to make things worse.

 

“I don’t want that Lily!” he was trying to stay calm and keep his voice low, but it was so damn hard sometimes when she accused him of things he had stopped doing or had no intent of doing.  “I didn’t ask Sirius to write that and I’m not trying to embarrass you.  I’ve pulled one prank all year, if you don’t count messing with my mates, and I haven’t hexed anybody since last June.”

 

Lily blinked several times.  He hadn’t meant to snap at her, he rarely did even when she was freaking out at him, but he had to convince her that he wasn’t a prat.  He just didn’t dare say that Remus and Aurora had both told him on multiple occasions that this was the way to get Lily’s attention; if he was going down, he wasn’t going to drag the other two with him.

 

“I want to believe you James, I really do,” she said quietly.  “But I need you to prove me wrong if you want me to trust you.”

 

He watched as she turned on her heel and made her way along the corridor.  She was several yards away from him before he found his voice again.  “I’m trying to Lily,” he whispered to nobody in particular, as Lily disappeared from sight.


	10. Saving Severus Snape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I think the title says it all for this chapter.  This is the longest one so far and, for obvious reasons, this chapter continues to focus on James.  I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you enjoy reading it just as much.

 

**Chapter Nine – Saving Severus Snape**

 

Things between James and Lily seemed to improve a bit after their conversation Thursday morning, which made him much happier.  Between the fact that she had stopped glaring at him and that the next night was a full moon, James was in much better spirits than he had been all week.  However, he could not say the same thing about Remus, who was, predictably, in a foul mood about his impending transformation.

 

“Look on the bright side, it’s not as bad as it was before we could join you,” Peter said quietly, trying to cheer up Remus during dinner.

 

“Do you mean that now I no longer attack myself and that I get to attack you three?  Is that supposed to be a bright side?” Remus asked, stabbing a potato violently.

 

The other three exchanged a look.  Every few months Remus would get into a mood about his condition and what he had to go through.  Last month hadn’t been so bad, because the other three Marauders had promised him that they had a lot of things they could check out in their first month back at school.  It looked like the excitement of their potential adventures had worn off and that Remus was focusing more on his transformation than anything.

 

“Cheer up mate,” James said.  “We’ll figure out something to do tomorrow.  There’s loads more we can do on nights your, er, affliction is giving you troubles.”

 

“It better be good,” Remus said, “if it’s supposed to make up for my furry little problem.”

 

“Look who you’re talking to,” Sirius said, grinning.  “We’re experts at having fun and bending the rules a little.”

 

Remus seemed to perk up a bit, and the boys returned to talking about Peter’s latest crush and how he should go about winning her over.  Remus spent the rest of the day in better spirits; his mood only returned to rock bottom after dinner the next day, when he went to the Hospital Wing to see Madam Pomfrey.

 

The three remaining Marauders returned to the common room, where they sat around in the corner, trying to pass the time until nightfall, when they would slip out of Gryffindor Tower under the cover of James’s invisibility cloak.

 

James sat in one of the armchairs, his legs dangling over the armrest, as he watched Sirius and Peter play a game of Exploding Snap.  He had already beat them both and was supposed to play the winner in the final round, but he found himself zoning out.  He would occasionally look around the room for Lily, but she and her friends didn’t return after dinner and he wondered if the three girls were spending the evening with Pippa, Liv, and Naomi.  He turned his attention back towards his friends just in time to see the card on top of Sirius’s pile explode in his face.

 

“What do you think we should do to cheer Moony up tonight?” James asked as Peter flipped up a card.  “He is going to be pissed if you promised him something good and we don’t do anything new.”

 

A wide grin came over Sirius’s face.  “As a matter of fact we do have a plan,” he said, flipping up a card of his own.  “Pete came up with it and I have to say, it’s bloody brilliant.”

 

“Excellent,” James said as he began to grin as well.  “Care to inform me about what this plan is, exactly?”

 

Sirius and Peter looked at each other for a moment, before shaking their heads in unison.  “It will be funnier if you find out after it happens,” Peter said, before yelling “Snap.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘after it happens’?” James asked, as half of the cards in Sirius’s face-down pile exploded at once.

 

“Fuck!” Sirius yelled, causing the girls sitting at the table behind him to jump.  He and Peter continued to play quickly, ignoring James.  Within a few moments Sirius was out of cards.  “I lose.”

 

“Looks like I’m playing you, Prongs,” Peter said, smiling as he began to shuffle the deck of cards in preparation for the finals.

 

James got out of the armchair and switched places with Sirius.  “Neither of you answered my question,” he said, looking between Sirius and Peter, who was now dealing.

 

“Well, you’re not really needed for the plan,” Peter said as he began to organize his cards into a neat stack on the table in front of him.

 

“Why not?  If I’m supposed to help keep him in check, I need to know what the plan is.”

 

Sirius rolled his eyes.  “I’ve already taken care of it, don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

 

“Will you just tell me?” James asked angrily.  He was quickly taking all of Peter’s cards and it was looking as though he was going to win.  Peter was starting to get flustered, most likely from the combination of the pressure of the game and from James’s incessant questioning, but Sirius seemed unfazed.

 

“If I tell you will you promise to shut up and not meddle?” Sirius asked, sitting up properly in his chair and placing his feet on the floor.

 

James furrowed his eyebrows.  He had never been one to meddle in Sirius’s plans, even the more outlandish ones that were bound to cause trouble.  “Sure,” he said, trying to keep an eye on the game while paying attention to his best friend.

 

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, when James was distracted by the group of giggling girls who had just come through the portrait hole.  Sirius turned around to see what had captured James’s attention and rolled his eyes.  “Prongs, if I’m going to tell you what’s going on you better be paying attention and not drooling over Lily.”

 

“I’m not drooling,” James snapped.

 

“Yeah, yeah, if you say so,” Sirius said.  “Anyway, Pete thought of a way we could – how should I put this – put an end to Snivelly’s curiosity.”

 

“What are you talking about?” James asked, flipping up a card and yelling, “Snap!” only seconds before the card Peter was reaching for exploded.

 

“Care to explain, Pete?”

 

Peter nodded.  He brushed some of his blond hair off of his forehead before speaking.  “I’m sure you’ve noticed that Snape has developed a rather obsessive fixation about the nature of Remus’s… condition.”

 

James nodded.  Even though they had assured Remus that they were certain Snape hadn’t figured out what was wrong with him, all four of them knew that he had.  They had debated what the best way of making him shut up was, but they could never agree.  Remus had refused to allow his friends to pre-emptively attack Snape before he could blab, since it would suggest that Snape was right, but Sirius had never really given up on the idea.  “What do you think we should do about it?”

 

Peter and Sirius looked at each other and grinned.  “Well, I talked to old Snivellus earlier –”

 

“You didn’t,” James said, narrowing his eyes at his best friend.

 

“No, no, no,” Sirius said quickly, shaking his head.  “I wouldn’t tell him.  But I might have suggested that he would find it worth his while to prod the knot on the trunk of the Whomping Willow tonight and head down the tunnel.”

 

“WHAT?”  James stood up quickly, bumping his knees against the table that the cards were resting on rather hard.  He barely noticed the pain in his knees or the fact that several of the cards exploded at that very moment.  “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

 

Most of the students in the common room were looking at him now, several of them with concerned expressions, but James didn’t care.  Sirius was looking at him carefully, as though trying to figure out what he could say that would calm him down, but James didn’t give him a chance to speak.  He felt around in the pocket of his trousers, making sure that his wand was still there, before making a mad dash to the portrait hole.  He didn’t bother to grab his cloak or to excuse himself from the people that were in his way, the possibilities of what would happen if he got to the Whomping Willow were too horrible to take the time.  He was nearly out of the common room when somebody stepped in front of him.

 

“I thought you said you weren’t going to be out of bed after hours anymore,” Lily said, looking up at him.

 

Under any other circumstances, he would have been thrilled that she had grabbed a hold of his arm, even if it was only to keep him in place, but now all he could think of was that he needed to get away from her quickly.  “I wish I could explain Lily, I really do, but I need to go.”

 

“This isn’t proving to me that you’ve matured,” she said, through gritted teeth.

 

Her words stung.  How could she say that, when he was doing all of this to protect Remus and save Snape, of all people?  She was going to be so angry at him, but he would have to deal with that later.  Remus would never be able to live with himself if Sirius and Peter’s plan worked.  “If you knew what I was doing, you wouldn’t say that,” he said, using his free hand to loosen her grip.  “I need to go now Lily.”

 

“I…  I’m going to give you detention for this Potter!”

 

His chest tightened; she was back to using his surname now.  “I’ve had plenty, I can deal with another,” he said, looking at her over his shoulder.  “Sorry, I have to do this.”

 

Under other circumstances, he would have felt horrible for making Lily look hurt.  He would have to apologize tomorrow, there wasn’t time now.  James reached the portrait hole and pushed it open, ignoring the Fat Lady’s protests as he ran down the corridor to the staircase.

 

James’s feet pounded on the stairs as he went down, staircase after staircase, until he finally reached the ground floor.  He had run past Filch’s cat somewhere around the third floor, but he had hardly taken notice of her meowing before he was past her and onto the next flight of stairs.  By now his legs were protesting, but he didn’t take the time to rest before continuing.  Instead, he forced the heavy main doors open and made his way onto the grounds.

 

The night air made him cold as the wind blew against his sweaty shirt.  He looked up at moon that he knew was full as it was making its way out from behind a fluffy grey cloud.  James had a sharp intake of breath; he knew it could not be long before Remus began his painful transformation from man to werewolf.  He tried to pick up the pace even more as he sprinted across the grounds towards the Whomping Willow.

 

As the menacing tree came into view, James was able to make out a figure standing near the base of the tree and he swore under his breath.  As Snape disappeared behind the frozen tree, James uttered a string of curses that would make even Sirius blush.  If only Sirius and Peter had told him their plans minutes earlier, he could have caught Snape before he went into the tunnel.  Within seconds he was at the base of the tree.  As the willow began to groan and become mobilized once more above him, James slipped under the tree and into the tunnel that would bring him to the Shrieking Shack.

 

He tried to move as quickly as possible through the tunnel, knowing that it was essential he stop Snape before he could see Remus.  Keeping himself hunched over to avoid smacking his head on the low ceilings, he forced himself onwards as quickly as he dared.  The stich in his side was killing him, but he didn’t dare slow down until the tunnel was coming to an end.

 

A sneeze ahead of him let him know that he had nearly caught up to Snape and he set off once more.  He rounded yet another curve in the tunnel, and he could see light coming from Snape’s wand tip.  He stood up straighter so he could move more quickly, but he smacked his head on the roof above him.  “Damn it!” he yelped, rubbing the back of his head.

 

 Not much farther down the tunnel, Snape turned and looked at him.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“I came… to save you…” James panted.  He tried to get closer to Snape, but the Slytherin took a few steps backwards.

 

“Black didn’t tell you about his little plan, did he?” Snape sneered.

 

“You don’t understand, we need to get out of here.”  James could hear the howl of a werewolf much too close for comfort. “Come _on_.”

 

He moved to the side of the tunnel so Snape could pass him, but the other boy turned on his heel and began sprinting towards the Shrieking Shack.  James swore once more and began to chase Snape, catching up with him as they neared the entrance to the Shack.  Snape was just pushing it open when James grabbed him by the back of the shirt and shoved him against the far wall of the tunnel.

 

“What the fuck are you thinking?” he asked after he had locked the door in an attempt to keep Remus from reaching them.

 

Snape didn’t seem to know.  His dark eyes were wide, with fear or shock James didn’t know but he was not going to take the time to find out.  “Come on, we need to get out of here in case he makes it out into the tunnel.”

 

He had hardly finished speaking before Snape had pushed past him.  It was probably the first time that he had ever done what James had suggested, and the thought made him laugh darkly.  Everything was messed up tonight.  Snape knew Remus’s secret, and they were going to have no choice but to trust him to keep his mouth shut.  He had done something he knew would anger Lily the day after he promised her he would prove how mature he had become, without regret.  Sirius and Peter were using Remus’s condition to their advantage, not thinking about how their decision could haunt Remus forever.

 

James and Snape didn’t speak as they made their way back through the tunnel and towards the castle.  James was listening intently for a sign that Remus had escaped from the Shrieking Shack, but the night was oddly silent.  It was only when they neared the end of the tunnel that the sounds of the Whomping Willow thrashing about in the night mixed in with their panting and the crunching of rocks, roots, and dirt.

 

Snape stuck his head out of the ground by the base of the tree and shouted, “Immobulus!”  James rolled his eyes as the Slytherin quickly descended back into the tunnel, having angered the tree above.  Students had tried the spell for years when they had their competitions about who could get closest to the trunk and dozens of them had tried to use that very spell without luck.  “How are we supposed to get past the damn tree?”  
  
James didn’t answer Snape.  He had never had to freeze the tree on his own, he and Sirius had always made Peter use his small animagus form to his advantage and press the knot for them.  Pressing the knot from this angle would be nearly impossible without a stick, which there were none of.  James looked at his feet and ran his hand through his hair.  “Think, James, think,” he muttered to himself, looking around the bare tunnel.  It was when he glanced at the floor that he had a stroke of brilliance.

 

He bent down and loosened a rock from the packed dirt around it.  He tossed it from one hand to the other and decided that it would do, given the circumstances.  With a shove he told Snape, “Move out of the way.”  The other boy did and James stuck his head out into the night air.  He pulled himself out of the tunnel up to his waist, contorting his body so he could get the best view of the knot in the trunk while remaining as far out of the range of the tree’s thrashing branches as possible.  He ignored the feeling of a twig falling onto his face and cutting his cheek as he tossed the rock at the knot.

 

James had never been as thankful that he was Gryffindor’s best Chaser as he was at the moment the Whomping Willow froze.  He barely took the time to tell Snape to get a move on as he pulled himself entirely out of the hidden tunnel and began his dash across the lawn.  It was only when he was well out of the Willow’s range that he stopped to look over his shoulder, to make sure that Snape had gotten out as well.  Thankfully, he was running up the grounds as well, though several yards behind James.

 

He slowed down as he neared the castle, panting slightly.  His shirt was clinging to his body, drenched in the sweat caused by both his nerves and his continuous dash from the castle to the Shrieking Shack and back again.  He ran his hand through his hair quickly and his touch revealed that it was immensely dishevelled.   James could hear his heartbeat in his pounding ears, which helped mask the sound of Snape’s footsteps on the grass behind him.  James wasn’t aware of how close Snape was until he felt a hex hit him in the back.

 

“What the fuck?” James snarled, turning around.  “I just saved your life, you think you would be more grateful about it.”

 

Snape glared at him.  “Got cold feet more like it.”  James was about to retort when Snape said, “I’m taking you to Dumbledore’s office.  He can decide how to deal with you and your friends.”

 

James’s stomach sank and he suddenly felt very nauseous.  He had been so preoccupied with getting Snape out of harm’s way for Remus’s sake that he hadn’t had time to think about what would happen after they were away from the Shrieking Shack.  Dumbledore wasn’t going to believe that he had nothing to do with Sirius and Peter’s plan.  He would be lucky if he was still a student at Hogwarts by the end of the night.

 

He followed after Snape silently.  He had managed to wiggle his way out of trouble before, but he had never had to deal with anything this severe.  Sirius could have killed Snape.  That thought was still sinking in when he found himself in front of the statue that lead up to Dumbledore’s quarters, barely aware of how he had arrived there.

 

He was just about to ask Snape if he knew the password when the statue began to move of its own accord.  Snape gave him a shove towards the stairs and, not in any position to retaliate, James stood quietly as Snape followed him onto the staircase.  All too soon, he was being let into Dumbledore’s office and led to one of the chairs in front of the Headmaster’s desk.  Snape was sitting beside him, arms crossed and a scowl on his face, as he waited for Dumbledore to address them.

 

The Headmaster had been waiting at his desk for them when they had arrived.  James had no idea how Dumbledore seemed to be aware of their impending arrival, but he was grateful that he wouldn’t have to wake the Headmaster up to tell him the story of the day’s events.  Dumbledore was staring at the two boys intently through his half-moon glasses, which was making James uncomfortable.  The three wizards sat in silence for a few minutes before Dumbledore asked, “Which one of you is going to tell me what happened?”

 

James slumped lower in his chair.  He hardly knew what had happened himself, which meant he had to let Snape tell the story and hope it wouldn’t sound as horrible to Dumbledore as it had to him when his friends had told him about their plot.

 

Snape sat up straighter in his chair and James forced himself not to roll his eyes, “I was making my way to dinner, minding my own business, when Black walked up to me and said he knew how I could make it past the Whomping Willow.”

 

“I take it you’re talking about Sirius Black,” Dumbledore said, pressing the tips of his fingers together.

 

Snape nodded.  “He told me that if I could find a long enough stick that I could press a knot on the tree’s trunk to get it to freeze.”

 

“And, naturally, you did as Mr Black said.”  Dumbledore didn’t sound nearly as enraged as James had expected him to.

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair.  “Severus, what did you see?”

 

James fought back the urge to speak.  Thus far he had been essentially ignored and he didn’t want to call any unnecessary attention to himself.  Instead, he also stared at Snape.  He was silently begging Snape to say that he hadn’t seen anything at the end of the tunnel, but he doubted he would be that lucky.

 

As he expected, ‘nothing’ was not the word that came out of Snape’s mouth.  In an oddly calm voice, Snape said, “A werewolf.”  He was so calm that James doubted that the sight of a werewolf had come as a surprise to him at all.

 

As the gravity of what he had just heard sunk in, James placed his head in his hands.  If Snape wanted to ruin Remus’s life, he had all of the ammunition that he needed.  This was the only thought that James could process for several moments.  He wished that he had arrived at the Whomping Willow a few minutes earlier.  Or, better yet, he wished that Peter and Sirius hadn’t been so reckless.  The time it took for Dumbledore to reply seemed to take forever.  James only lifted his head from his hands he heard the headmaster address him directly.

 

“And how do you fit into this story, James?” Dumbledore asked.  He was now resting his chin on his fingertips.  James found it difficult to continue looking into the light blue eyes that always seemed to know too much.

 

“I chased him down the tunnel trying to stop him,” James mumbled.  “Clearly, I was too late.”

 

Dumbledore gazed between the two boys in front of him before pulling out a bottle of ink and beginning to write a short message.  He then pushed his chair out and walked, robes billowing, to where Fawkes had been sleeping on his perch.  “There is no time to waste.  Bring this to Misters Black and Pettigrew.  I believe you will find them in Gryffindor Tower.”

 

Dumbledore walked back to his desk as his phoenix flew out the window.  “I hate to make Fawkes deliver my mail, but there is no time to get an owl.  The matter at hand must be dealt with immediately.”

 

James shifted his weight in his seat uncomfortably.  So this was it, this is when he was going to find out if he was going to be dragged down because of Sirius’s crime.  Guilty by association, or what have you.  He supposed that was the cost of having one of the most reckless people in the school for a best friend but Merlin, his parents were going to kill him if he got expelled.

 

Sirius and Peter finally arrived, both much too slowly and too quickly, dragging their feet as they entered Dumbledore’s office.  Both of them looked nervous, but James felt no sympathy for them.  They had chosen to do this, whereas he had been trying to clean up the mess they made.

 

“Sit,” Dumbledore instructed, gesturing to the wooden chairs he had just conjured.  Sirius and Peter obeyed without saying a word, which was rare.  “Severus has just been telling me about the life threatening situation he found himself in tonight.  Now, Mr Black, would you care to explain to me why you would tell somebody how to enter the Shrieking Shack?”

 

James glanced at his best friend and he could practically see the tension radiating from Sirius.  “Well sir, Pete had mentioned something the other day and it got me thinking.  Snape always seems to be so curious about where Remus goes every month, so I thought I’d let him see what happens for himself.”

 

Dumbledore started to comment, but James cut him off.  “How COULD you two be such idiots?  You nearly killed him,” he pointed at Snape, “without thinking about what that would do to Remus.”

 

“James, we –” Peter began timidly.

 

“Didn’t think?  Don’t care?  Tell me, what exactly did you two do?”  He had balled his hands into such tight fists that his nails were starting to break the skin.

 

“Please calm down Mr Potter.”

 

The calm voice of Albus Dumbledore made James focus.  He ran his hand through his hair and clenched his teeth.  He had to try to remain calm, he was in enough trouble as it was without hexing his friends in front of the headmaster.  “I’m sorry, sir,” James mumbled, keeping his eyes off of his friends.

 

“Mr Pettigrew, could you please clarify for me what your role in this fiasco was?” Dumbledore asked, enraging James with how calm he was.  If he would yell at Sirius and Peter, it would make James feel so much better.  They definitely deserved it.

 

Peter made a panicked noise and James tried to fight back a smirk.  Good, let him freak out a bit.  “I might have mentioned something to Sirius about showing Snape the Whomping Willow,” he squeaked.  “But I didn’t actually mean it.  I don’t want anybody dead.”

 

By this time James was nearly begging Dumbledore to scream, but when he spoke, it was as calm as ever.  “Did James have anything to do with your plans?”

 

“No,” Sirius said forcefully.  “He didn’t have anything to do with it sir, I swear to God.  In fact, when we told him what I had told Snape to do he ran out of the common room, getting a detention in the process, I might add, to try to stop Snape.”

 

James was relieved that Sirius wasn’t going to bring him down with him and Peter.  When Dumbledore looked at him again, his gaze was much less harsh than it was before.  “Who gave you the detention?”

 

“Lily,” James said, sitting up straighter in his chair.

 

“I will talk to her tomorrow and tell her that you do not have to serve the detention she gave you.”  He must have recognized the look of alarm on James’s face, because he quickly added, “I will, naturally, keep the events that transpired tonight a secret.”

 

Dumbledore turned to face Snape, who had been quiet ever since Sirius and Peter had arrived.  James had the feeling that he had been gloating internally the entire time.  “Severus, you must also promise to not tell anybody about anything that you witnessed tonight, nor may you tell them about the secret entrance to the Shrieking Shack that lies under the Whomping Willow.”

 

“But sir, Lupin is a danger to the rest of us.  He should be –”

 

They never did get to hear exactly what Remus should be, because Dumbledore raised a hand to silence Snape.  “Remus Lupin is no more a danger to the students of this school than I am,” he said, his voice calm but forceful.  “You will keep his secret, or you will face very severe consequences.  Do you understand, Severus?”

 

A sour look crossed Snape’s face, but he agreed.  “Yes, sir.  I promise not to tell anybody.”

 

“That is a wise decision,” Dumbledore said, before turning back to the Gryffindor boys.  “You must realize that you will be facing punishment that is fitting of your acts.”

 

James felt like he was going to vomit.  Surely, they were going to be expelled.  Perhaps he and Peter would get off easier, but he didn’t see how Dumbledore could not expel Sirius after what he did.  He could have killed another student, for Merlin’s sake.

 

“Mr Black, I will be taking one hundred points from Gryffindor for what you have done.  You will be serving detention nightly for a month, with the exception of Sundays, and you are forbidden from going on this month’s Hogsmeade trip.  Have I made myself clear?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Sirius said, more quietly and meekly than James had ever heard him before.  “I understand.”

 

Dumbledore gave a slight nod and turned to Peter.  “I will be taking thirty points off of Gryffindor for your suggestion of the misuse of the Whomping Willow and the mistreatment of two fellow students, Mr Pettigrew.  You will be serving detention every night for the next two weeks and you are also forbidden from going on the next Hogsmeade trip.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Peter said, even more quietly than Sirius.

 

James’s head was reeling when Dumbledore turned to him.  They had just lost one hundred and thirty points in a matter of minutes.  They had lost and gained many points in the past, but they had never put their house down this much so quickly.  They had lost fifty points once or twice after a couple of particularly nasty pranks, but never more than that.  The rest of the house was going to be furious with them in the morning.

 

“As for you,” Dumbledore said, “I will talk to Miss Evans about eliminating your detention and I award you fifty points.”

 

James wasn’t sure if he heard that right.  “Pardon?”

 

“You are very deserving of the points, Mr Potter,” Dumbledore said.  “You showed great courage tonight, putting your life at risk for another student.”

 

“I… thank you, sir.”  He was nearly speechless.  He had spent the past half hour worrying about whether or not he was going to be expelled, but instead he was being rewarded for his actions.  Even Sirius and Peter weren’t going to be expelled, which he was extremely surprised about.  Forget expulsion, Sirius should probably have been glad that he wasn’t facing time in Azkaban for causing the death of another student.

 

James was still in shock after Dumbledore dismissed them.  He ignored the incessant chatter of Sirius and Peter behind him, not caring what they had to say about their punishments or why they did what they did.  The first time he spoke to them was after they had made it into the Gryffindor common room, which was mostly empty.

 

“Thank God Dumbledore didn’t expel me, isn’t it mate?  Where would I go?” Sirius asked.  He was annoyingly upbeat about everything, he even had an obnoxious smile on his face.

 

James ignored the questions that he could hear Lily and her friends asking about where they had been; he was not in the mood to deal with people.  Instead, he told Sirius to fuck off before punching him in the face.  Ignoring Sirius’s angry protesting and the shrieks from some of the people who had not yet made their way up to bed, James turned on his heel and walked towards his dormitory.  Alone.


	11. Secrets and Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Snape's discovery.

**Chapter Ten – Secrets and Fears**

 

Clearly, something had happened the previous night.  The question was, what could have caused James to punch Sirius in the face in the middle of the common room?  
  
That was the question that was weighing heavily on Lily’s mind on Saturday morning.  James was sitting in the corner of the room, his nose buried in his Potions textbook, presumably working on the essay that Professor Slughorn had assigned them on Thursday.  Sirius and Peter were at the opposite end of the common room, talking in hushed voices and glancing at their friend on a regular basis.

 

Lily hadn’t meant to spend her Saturday morning paying such close attention to the boys, but it was such an unusual occurrence that she couldn’t help but wonder what had caused it.  It was distracting her from her Defence Against the Dark Arts reading that she had intended to do, but her curiosity only increased as time went on.  Around ten o’clock in the morning Remus had entered the common room looking very concerned.  She had waved at him and smiled, but he had only raised his hand half-heartedly before hurrying off to huddle around the table in the corner with James.

 

Lily soon became aware that she wasn’t the only one who was curious about why the four boys had broken off into pairs.  It was uncommon for them to be partnered off like this when they weren’t in class.  Even if two of them were doing something, the other two always seemed to be close enough that they could still talk to each other.  As the time passed Lily decided that Sirius and Peter must have done something to anger the other two, because while they would occasionally look at James and Remus, James and Remus had not glanced in their friends’ direction all morning.

 

As lunchtime neared, Lily walked over to where James and Remus were now playing a card game.  Arms folded across her chest, she stood by the edge of the table.  Remus placed an Ace down, resolutely not looking up.  James’s posture stiffened and his dark hair fell across his face.  They both looked so focused on their cards and the table that Lily wondered if they even knew who had come up to them.

 

When she realized that she was not going to get a greeting from other of the boys, she asked the first question that popped into her head to try to figure out what was going on.  “Why aren’t you two over there with your mates?”  It was a bit blunter than she had intended it to be, but at least she knew that she got her point across.

 

“Curiosity killed the cat,” Remus said, still avoiding making eye contact with her.

 

Lily rolled her eyes.  “So I’ve heard,” she said drily.  “If you won’t tell me that, will you at least tell me if Sirius is still planning having his party tonight?”

 

“I don’t know if we ever said it would be tonight,” Remus said, fiddling with his cards.  He was clearly uncomfortable.

 

“Well, it wasn’t last night and unless you’re planning on having it on a Sunday night, you would have to throw it tonight.”

 

“Change of plans,” James said.  He too was avoiding eye contact, which infuriated Lily.  She had always been the one who avoided eye contact, not wanting to encourage him to pester her any more than he already did.  He had always been the one who was asking all of the questions and trying to get a good conversation rolling, not the one trying to keep it short.  “He’s in detention tonight.”

 

The fact that Sirius had gotten a detention didn’t surprise her.  Surely he and James were getting close to breaking a school record by this point.  “Speaking of detention, you’re going to need to come with me to talk to Dumbledore about you leaving the common room after hours last night.”

 

James turned around in his seat then, finally looking at her.  “I don’t have to serve detention for that,” he said, smiling much too sweetly.

 

She wanted to slap him for being so cheeky.  “I disagree with you Potter.”

 

“Dumbledore said that he was going to talk to you about it,” James said, looking slightly confused.  “Did he not do that yet?”

 

Lily cocked her head to the side, suddenly as confused as James sounded.  “Will you tell me why exactly Dumbledore would let you out of detention?”

 

She had been expecting a cheeky answer, probably accompanied by a smirk, but that was far from what she got.  James bit his lip.  His hazel eyes darted to Remus, who suddenly seemed utterly fascinated by the numbers on his cards, for the slightest fraction of a second before he began fiddling with his own.  Lily waited, growing more and more impatient, for him to answer.  Finally, he said, “I can’t tell you that.”

 

She raised her eyebrows.  “Why not?”  


“It’s private, but thanks for asking,” James said rather stiffly.

 

There was something about the way he said it that made her want to believe him.  Over the years, she had managed to read James Potter fairly well.  This was not the tone he used when he was trying to push somebody’s buttons.  On the contrary, he seemed more like he would rather she just go away.  Forcing herself to use a softer tone of voice, Lily asked, “Is this related to the reason why Sirius is in detention tonight?”

 

“Maybe.”  He was back was facing her once more.

 

“And are those two things related to why you two are ignoring the buffoons over there?”

 

James didn’t say anything, which told her a lot.  Lily looked to Remus for an answer, but he was still trying to avoid making any sort of eye contact.  “Remus?” she asked, looking at the top of his sandy head, but he did not reply.  She decided to ask a different question.  “Are all these things connected to why Gryffindor was down eighty points this morning?”

 

Remus’s eyes met hers for a split second before they drifted back to his cards.  “Yes,” he replied.

 

Remus’s reply was short and Lily realized that she was not going to be getting any more out of him, so she stopped pushing the issue.  However, her curiosity was peaked and her mind kept wandering back to the issue.  It certainly didn’t help that at dinner, in addition to arriving a full ten minutes after Sirius and Peter, James and Remus had made a point of leaving room for at least half a dozen people between themselves and their friends.

 

The issue didn’t improve on Sunday, nor did the boys seem to be on any better terms on Monday.  If anything, things between them seemed even tenser.  That day at breakfast it also came out that Sirius was going to be in detention for a month and Peter for half that time, while James and Remus hadn’t gotten any punishments.

 

On Tuesday evening Aurora was starting to express her concerns that their Quidditch team wasn’t going to do very well if their Captain wasn’t talking to one of the players, which Lily had to agree with.  James and Remus were acting as though they didn’t even hear Sirius or Peter speaking to them.  The team captain acting as though one of the Beaters didn’t even exist certainly wasn’t going to help them do any better than they had the year before, at the very least.

 

It was Thursday when things finally started to go back to normal.  The four boys ate breakfast in a stony silence, but at least they were sitting together.  In Potions James made a point of not sitting beside Sirius, but he had a short conversation with him about the reason for using chopped dandelion roots in the potion they were brewing.  Things looked like they were improving between the boys steadily, though very slowly.

 

For some reason, this seemed to comfort Lily.  With everything that was going on in the world, at least the four boys had been consistent in their loyalty to one another and their determination to not take things too seriously.  It was bad enough that the Daily Prophet was filled with news of more disappearances, more inexplicable things happening, and even a steadily increasing number of murders.  She didn’t like the fact that something that had always been predictable was different as well, even if it did make the common room quieter. 

 

On Friday evening, Lily and Remus had their first patrolling duty since before the boys had gotten into their argument.  As they strolled along the dimly lit corridors, only a few feet apart, Lily had thought about how to ask him about it for several minutes.  It had been immediately obvious that he hadn’t wanted to talk about what was going on when she had confronted him the previous weekend.  Nobody put that much effort into examining a deck of cards, especially not in the middle of a game.  The fact that he hadn’t even been able to look at her meant that whatever it was, it was something he was trying to avoid.

 

When she finally did break the comfortable silence between the two of them, they were on the third floor.  “Are you getting along better with your friends again?” she asked.  She tried her best to sound nonchalant, as though it was just a throwaway question.  She was sure that he was able to see through her efforts, though.  He knew her too well.

 

Remus shoved his hands in the pockets of his robes and let out a soft sigh.  “You’ve been wanting to ask me that for a while, haven’t you?”

 

Lily felt her cheeks grow warm.  “Yeah,” she admitted.  “I had never seen you guys that angry with each other for that long.”  All she got was a noncommittal noise in return, so she continued.  “Even if you four do start causing trouble again, it’s nice to know that things are back to normal.”

 

“They’re getting there,” Remus said quietly, “but it will take some time.”

 

She let this sink in.  This was the closest that he or James had come to admitting out loud that it was something big that had caused the rift in their little group.  “It must have been something serious.”  Lily wasn’t sure if she expected an answer or not.  She already knew what the answer she got would be, even if Remus didn’t want to verbally confirm it.

 

They walked in silence for several more minutes.  Lily kept sneaking glances at Remus, trying to figure out what he was thinking.  She wondered if she had pushed too far with her questions and if that was what was causing him to seem so out of it.  “I’m sorry if I was being too nosy earlier,” she said as they turned into a lesser used corridor.

 

“It’s okay,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze.  “You’re just curious.”

 

Lily had opened her mouth to reply when Remus put a finger to his lips.  “Can you hear that?” he whispered, hardly making a sound.

 

Lily strained her ears, trying to pick up on what Remus was hearing.  She was not surprised when, a few seconds later, she was able to make out a sort of rattling noise coming from farther down the hall.  She had learned early on during their patrols that Remus had better hearing than she did.  He was almost always the one to hear rogue students first.  A part of Lily couldn’t help but wondering if it was because he was more accustomed to the sounds of the castle at night, having snuck out with his friends after hours many more times than she had.

 

The pair walked down the hall quietly, Lily slightly behind Remus, until they found the classroom that the sounds were coming from.  Remus pushed the door open and let Lily enter the room first, holding her lit wand out in front of her.  She quickly looked around the room, but found it entirely empty, except for a chest in the corner and a smattering of desks around the room.

 

“There’s no one here,” Lily said, lowering her wand slightly.

 

Remus didn’t seem quite so sure about that.  He pointed to the chest in the corner and slowly started making his way to it, with Lily following on his heels.  He stood off to the side and placed a hand on the door handle, leaving Lily standing front and centre in front of the chest.  “You ready?” he asked, and she nodded her reply.

 

One of the doors swung open and for a split second, Lily didn’t think that anything was inside.  A moment later though, she was screaming and leaping back from the chest in terror.

 

The body of a woman had fallen out onto the floor.  She was in her early forties, with auburn hair that was partially covering her face and falling into her still open almond shaped blue eyes.  Lily was shaking as she kneeled on the floor in front of her mother’s body, trying to process what was going on.  Her mother should be back home, not at Hogwarts, but there was no denying this was her.  Lily’s fingertips grazed her mother’s hand and she started whimpering.  And then, all of a sudden, her mother’s body was gone.

 

Lily’s head snapped up as she looked around the room, trying to figure out what had happened.  She could not see her mum anywhere, but a few feet above her head, a silvery grey orb was floating in midair.  It was only when she heard Remus’s calm voice say, “Riddikulus,” that she started to process what was going on.

 

The boggart disappeared in front of Lily’s eyes with a pop as Remus laughed.  She sat, still frozen on the hard floor, for several seconds until she felt Remus’s hand on her elbow and his quiet voice saying, “Come on Lils, up you get.”

 

She let him help her up, although she was still shaking when she got to her feet.  The vision of her mother’s dead body drifted across her mind again and Lily burst into tears while she was turning around to face Remus.  He seemed to have been ready for this, as he was holding his arms out to give her a hug as soon as she had faced him.  “Shh…” he whispered, holding her close as she sobbed against his shoulder.  “It was just a Boggart.  Your Mum’s safe.”

 

Even though she knew he was right, it took Lily a few minutes to calm down.  The entire time Remus rubbed her back, whispering to her that everything was fine.  When she finally stopped crying, she pulled away from Remus.  “Thank you,” she said quietly.  It was slightly embarrassing that he had seen her fall apart because of a boggart but, given the news they were receiving every day, she was certain that he would understand why she would be worried for her family’s safety.

 

“You’re welcome, Lils,” he replied, giving her a small smile.

 

They stood a couple feet apart, facing each other but not speaking, silent except for Lily’s sniffling.  After several seconds, Lily asked, “What was your boggart of?”  She had recognized that it was a sphere of some sort, but she hadn’t been able to place it before he had made it disappear.

 

She had known that it would be awkward to ask the question, since it meant that she was expecting him to tell her what scared him most in the world.  However, she didn’t feel too bad about it seeing as he had not only seen what hers was, but that he had also been forced to comfort her after she had started sobbing.  She had not expected him to break eye contact with her at that moment and stare down at his trainers.

 

“I’m sorry if that was too personal,” she said when it became clear that he was not going to answer her.  “I was just curious, because I couldn’t figure out what the round, white…”  That was when the obvious hit her and she gasped.

 

Remus’s head snapped up as Lily’s voice trailed off into nothingness.  “What?” he asked, somewhat panicked.  His eyes were wide and staring into hers without blinking.

 

“He was saying it for years but I didn’t think that it…  It can’t be…  _You_ can’t be…”  Lily was fully aware that she wasn’t making any sense, but it was hard to speak coherently when her thoughts were half-formed and jumbled in her mind.  She began fidgeting and walking, looking back at Remus every few seconds.  After nearly a minute, she turned back to her patrol mate from across the room.  “If I ask you a question will you answer me honestly?”

 

Remus looked nervous, but he nodded.  “I’ll try to.”  Even in the short sentence, his voice cracked.

 

“Was that… is your boggart of the moon?” she asked.  Very slowly, Remus nodded so she asked another question.  “The full moon?”  He nodded again, even more slowly this time and Lily’s stomach clenched.  She then made herself ask the hardest question of all, even though she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer.  “Remus, are you… are you…”

 

She couldn’t make herself as the question, but she knew that he knew what she had meant.  “I think you know the answer to that Lily,” he said.

 

“Oh God, Sev was right,” she whispered, running her hands through her hair and pulling slightly.  “You’re… you’re…”

 

“A werewolf, yeah,” Remus said, not breaking eye contact with her.  Suddenly, his face got hard and he spoke in a much harsher tone than she was used to him using.  “You have to swear to me Lily that you will never tell anybody about this.”

 

“I…”  


He cut her off before she could form a full sentence.  “If you ever mention this to anybody, my life will be ruined.  Even if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, you have to promise me this and it will be the last thing I ever ask you to do for me.”

 

“Remus, I—” She tried to speak again, but he cut her off once more.

 

“Lily, please.”  He was starting to sound extremely scared now.

 

“YES!” She half-shouted in an attempt to make him listen to her.  It seemed to work, because he took a step back in surprise.  “I won’t tell a soul, I swear.”

 

“Thank you,” he said, shoving his hands back in his pockets.  Once again, he was staring down at his trainers.  “I can understand if you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, now that you know what… what I am.”

 

Lily hated the way his voice was so full of self-loathing.  She walked over to him, weaving her way through the desks, to give him a hug.  “I still want to be friends with you Remus,” she whispered into his shoulder.  “This won’t change anything.”

 

He seemed to relax a bit.  “Thank you,” he whispered back, squeezing her tightly.  “You have no idea how much it means to me that you aren’t repulsed by me.”

 

She pulled away and held him at arm’s length.  “Remus, stop,” she said harshly.  “You didn’t choose this and you don’t repulse me.”  To prove her point, she kissed his cheek.  “I take it James, Sirius, and Peter know about this?”

 

“They’ve known for years,” Remus said, breaking eye contact once more.

 

“They don’t hate you and I don’t either,” Lily said firmly.  “Can I ask you something?”

 

He looked up at her again, a small smile coming across his lips.  “You just did.”

 

Lily smiled back at him.  He was starting to go back to normal.  “Where do you go once a month?  Do you really go see your Mum or is there somewhere here that you… change?”  She wasn’t sure which word to use to describe what happened on the full moon that was least offensive.

 

Remus went to go sit on one of the desks, but he did answer her.  “I go to the Shrieking Shack.”

 

“So it’s _you_ that the people in Hogsmeade hear?” she asked incredulously.

 

He nodded.  “That’s me alright,” he said bitterly.

 

“Does it hurt?”  She hadn’t meant to ask the question, but it had been on her mind ever since he confirmed Snape’s old suspicion.

 

“Horribly.”

 

She took a step towards him and reached out again as she murmured, “Oh Remus…”

 

“It’s been ten years, I’ve grown as accustomed to it as I think somebody can.  Don’t worry about me.”

 

Even though it was clear that he meant it, Lily couldn’t help but picture him writhing on the floor in agony as his body convulsed, screaming in pain.  She tried to force the image out of her head, but it was impossible.  Trying to change to a slightly lighter topic, she asked, “How do you get to the Shrieking Shack?  I thought it was all boarded up.”

 

For some reason, this brought a smile to Remus’s face.  “It is,” he said, seeming to enjoy how curious she was.  “From the outside, it’s impenetrable.  Unless you know where the secret passage way is.”

 

“Where is it?” Lily breathed.  She knew he might not be able to tell her, but she was just so damn curious tonight.

 

Remus raised his eyebrows.  “Why do you want to know?”

 

Lily felt her cheeks grow warm.  “I was just curious,” she said quickly.

 

They looked at each other for a few seconds, but Remus finally did answer her.  “Why don’t you go ask Snape to show you?”

 

This was not the answer that Lily had been expecting.  “How would he know?”  In the back of her mind she could hear all the times he had talked about wanting to find out where Remus went every month and she groaned.  “He did something stupid didn’t he?”

 

“You could say that, although it wasn’t entirely his fault.  He had a helping hand from some people who aren’t very fond of him.”

 

Something clicked in Lily’s head then and her mouth dropped open.  “Is this why you and your friends have been fighting?”  Remus nodded and Lily covered her mouth.  “Who told him?”

 

“You don’t need to know,” Remus replied.  “But I can tell you that you’ve been a bit rough on James lately for being out of bed after hours.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He risked everything to help a friend,” Remus said.  Once he seemed certain that he had her full attention, he added, “He saved Snape’s life in the process.”

 

Lily felt like her eyes were going to pop out of her head.  That, she had not been expecting.  She had been wondering how he managed to get out of his detention all week, but James saving Severus Snape, of all people, would have been the last thing she thought of.  She sat on the desk beside Remus, thinking things through for several minutes.  “Why didn’t he defend himself?”

 

“He was protecting me,” Remus said.  “He’s a good guy Lily, and he means well, even though I know you don’t think so sometimes.”

 

She hardly focused on what he was saying.  Instead, she picked at her cuticles and said, “I should probably apologize to him.”

 

Beside her, Remus laughed.  “Now there’s a first,” he said.

 

“Do you think he’ll still be up when our rounds are done?”  
  
“Doubt it,” Remus said, hopping off of the desk and extending a hand to her.  “He has early Quidditch practise tomorrow.  But, speaking of rounds, we should probably get back to those.”

 

She couldn’t believe that they had spent so much of their time on duty talking.  She took hold of his extended hand to help herself down from the desk.  “Thanks.”

 

“No, thank you for being okay with my… to use James’s words, my ‘furry little problem’,” Remus said.

 

“Your furry little problem?” Lily asked, raising an eyebrow as they made their way out of the classroom and back into the corridor.

 

Remus made a face.  “I know,” he said.  “Not the term I would have chosen, but it stuck and we’ve been using it for years.  That’s the problem with twelve year old boys trying to decide on code words, they’re not very good at it.”


	12. 11 - Flying Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily apologizes to James and he has an interesting suggestion on how she can make it up to him.

**Chapter Eleven – Flying Lessons**

 

When Lily woke up to the sun shining on her face between the open curtains of her four poster bed the next morning, she saw that Aurora’s bed was already empty with the blankets crumpled near the foot of it.  She knew this meant that Quidditch practice must have already started, because there was no other reason why Aurora would be up so early on a Saturday morning.

 

Lily dawdled while getting ready, taking her time choosing each part of her outfit and retying the laces on her shoes twice.  She knew she was being ridiculous and that wasting time was not going to make things better, but her body didn’t seem to want to listen.  She had to admit to herself that even though she knew it had to be done, she was nervous about apologizing to James.

 

They’d had more than their fair share of arguments over the years, over everything from excessive noise in the common room to him tormenting other students.  All the other times they had fought they had simply let enough time pass that they got over the issue on their own terms or they avoided speaking until James apologized for whatever he had done, even though he usually didn’t think that he had done something wrong.

 

It had been a simple way of dealing with things and it had worked for them.  Sure, she had known that James only apologized a lot of the time to get her off his back but hearing him admit that he was at fault out loud had appeased her.  The problem was that this time, Lily knew that she was the one who was in the wrong.  She didn’t like the idea of changing the way their somewhat dysfunctional relationship worked, but she knew she had to be the bigger person.  Merlin only knew what life would be like if she let James take that role.

 

When she made her way out to the Quidditch pitch around ten thirty, having dragged her feet across the grounds after picking at her breakfast, the Gryffindor team was still practising.  She found a seat in the stands that was at eye level with where they were playing so she could keep an eye on what was going on and read her book at the same time.  Unfortunately for her, practise continued until after eleven and by the time James had announced that practice was over, her bottom was sore.  In the time it took her to walk down all the stairs to the pitch, most of the Gryffindor players were already making their way to the changing rooms.  The only two people left were James and Sirius, who was helping his best friend pack up the bludgers.

 

When she neared them Lily cleared her throat with a loud cough.  The two boys looked up from where they were knelt down, Sirius forcing the bludger to stay in its spot while James locked it up.  “I think Rory’s getting changed, she should be out in a minute,” James said as he snapped the clasp shut, trapping the last bludger in the chest.  He returned his attention to the Quidditch equipment, telling Sirius something about Bludger Backbeats, which was evidently some sort of technique for beaters.

 

Cutting off James’s talk about the importance of confusing Ravenclaw in their first game.  “I actually wanted to talk to you,” Lily said loudly to get James to pay attention to her rather than Sirius, who was swinging his beater’s bat in a deliberate backhand swing.  Her loudness proved effective but she almost instantly regretted it, because both boys turned their heads in her direction so quickly that she was surprised they didn’t injure themselves.  James was clearly trying to repress a grin and Sirius chuckled as he turned his bat around in his fingers.  When he didn’t make a move to go, she added, “Alone, if you don’t mind Sirius.”

 

“Of course not,” he said quickly, using his bat to push himself up from the ground.  He winked as he added, “I’ll let you two lovebirds be.”

 

James locked up the trunk that held all of the Quidditch balls and stood up.  “Sorry about him,” he said, jerking his head in the direction Sirius had walked off in.  “He doesn’t live up to his name very well.”

 

“It’s okay,” Lily said.

 

“So, what did you want to talk about?”  She ignored the fact that he ran his hand through his hair, which was already a mess.  Now that she was spending so much time with him, she had started to wonder if it was a nervous tick rather than him deliberately being obnoxious.

 

She pressed her lips together before forcing herself to say what she had promised Remus she would the night before.  “I wanted to apologize for the way I acted last week.”  The words felt weird on her tongue.  Apologizing to James Potter for getting angry that he broke rules went against what her instincts had always told her, but she felt somewhat relieved to feel like they were on level ground again.  “I was out of line.”

 

James seemed surprised by Lily’s apology, his hazel eyes widening behind his glasses.  To be fair, she didn’t think she had ever apologized to him before so it was not an entirely unexpected reaction.  “Don’t worry about it, I was out of bed after hours,” James said with a shrug. “You were just doing your job.”

 

It was Lily’s turn to think this was strange.  He had always had cheeky responses to her getting him in trouble.  Maybe he had hoped that if he could get her to laugh she would go back on what she had said, even though it had never worked before.  But, then again, he was always around at least one of his friends when that had happened.  Could they really have had such a big effect on his personality, though?

 

She shifted her weight as she looked at him, head tilted to the side.  “I know why you did it,” she said quietly.

 

“Oh.”  His hazel eyes were even wider than they had been a moment earlier.  “Who told you?”

 

“Remus.”

 

James’s eyebrows furrowed together.  “Remus?  But… why?”

 

She explained what had happened the previous night as quickly as possible, skimming over the part about her mum as fast as she could while maintaining clarity.  James sat on the chest that held the Quidditch balls silently, listening to what she was saying intently.

 

When she finished, it took him a couple minutes before he finally replied.  “You can’t tell anybody about Remus, Lily.”

 

“I already made him that promise,” she said.  After a long pause, she asked, “Do you really think that I would ruin his life like that?”

 

James started shaking his head before she even finished speaking.  “No, I don’t,” he said quickly.  “I just… he’s one of my best mates, I have to look out for him.”

 

Lily nodded.  They stood awkwardly for several seconds in silence.  She shoved her hands in her pockets and looked towards the change rooms, before saying.  “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry and I wanted to let you know that I know what happened.”

 

“Do you know how you could make it up to me?” he asked, quickly standing up.

 

Lily did not like the wide grin that had spread across his face.  She had seen it several times before and it was usually followed by an over the top prank or an invitation to be his date for the next holiday, Hogsmeade trip, or random Tuesday.

 

“I’m not going to Hogsmeade with you,” Lily said quickly, before he had the chance to ask her.

 

James looked off put.  “I wasn’t going to ask you to come to Hogsmeade with me.”  He sounded almost offended by the suggestion, which was ridiculous considering how many times he had practically insisted she go with him.  “I was going to say that you should come flying with me.”

 

That was not what she had been expecting.  “I don’t fly,” she said quickly.  “I’m sure you know that, Aurora’s been complaining about it for years.”

 

“Oh, I know,” James said with a wide grin.  “That’s why I suggested it.”

 

It was Lily’s turn to be confused.  “I’m not sure I follow.”

 

“You need to take some risks sometimes.  Try things you’re not good at or things that scare you… or both.”  That damn grin of his was back.  It was like he was taunting her to say no, when he knew that she couldn’t deny her issues with flying, at least not honestly.

 

“Do you want me to fall off my broom and break my neck?” Lily asked.  “I haven’t been on a broom since second year, and not on a regular basis since first year.”

 

James didn’t seem to be listening.  Instead, he walked over to where he had put down his broomstick and gesturing for her to follow.  She shook her head and stayed put, which caused him to roll his eyes.  “C’mon Lils, don’t be such a wimp,” he said with a smirk.

 

She made a face, but refused to let his teasing get to her.  He must have realized that she was not going to come after him, so he brought his broom back to where she was standing.  He held it out for her momentarily, before pulling it back.  “You need to be careful with this.”

 

“James, I’m not going to take your broom.  I could barely handle the crappy school brooms, why on Earth would you give me your top of the line Silver Arrow or Comet or whatever it is you have?”

 

He sighed.  “I trust you with it.”

 

“Then you must be barking mad,” Lily said, laughing.  “The only way I could control that was if Aurora was helping me.”

 

As soon as the words were off of her lips, she realized that it had been the wrong thing to say.  James was looking positively thrilled and she was sure she knew why.  He didn’t say a word, but he was grinning from ear to ear as he unclasped his red Quidditch robes and draped them over the lid of the chest.  “If you trust Rory to help you, surely you know I can teach you how to fly.”

 

“No, James,” Lily said emphatically.  She had hoped that she could come down, apologize, and go eat lunch.  This was getting out of control quickly.

 

He jutted his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout.  “C’mon, I thought you wanted to make it up to me that you freaked out about me being out of bed after hours.”

 

He had her there.  “I did, but I thought that you’d just accept my apology like a normal person.  I didn’t think you were going to make me fly.  Especially not with you.”

 

“I’m not going to try to pull anything.”  He was starting to sound frustrated with her.  “I could have said you should kiss me or date me to make it up to me.  I had my chance to be an ass, I wouldn’t go through all this hassle to push you off a broom fifty feet in the air.”

 

A small smile played across Lily’s lips as she said, “I wouldn’t have put it past you last year.”

 

James rolled his eyes.  “That was old James.  I’m new and improved.”

 

Lily laughed.  “And as modest as ever, I see.”

 

He shrugged in reply, not seeming fussed by her assessment.  “Come on,” he said, offering out his hand to her.  “No funny business, I swear.  But if you’re going to be friends with me and Sirius, you’re going to need to at least know the basics of flying.”

 

“What if I don’t want to be friends with you?”

 

She had meant it as a joke, but it was clear that James didn’t take it that way.  He looked quite hurt as he dropped his hand.  He was making his way back to the chest when Lily practically shouted, “It was a joke!” to get his attention.  “Surely the great prankster James Potter understands the concepts of sarcasm and joking around.”

 

“Well, it wasn’t funny,” he said darkly.  “I thought we were making progress and—”

 

“That’s why I was joking with you!” Lily snapped.  “But I don’t think you’re one to talk about jokes not being funny, Mr I Hex People for Fun in the Corridors.”

 

“I haven’t gotten a single detention for hexing people this year,” James snapped back.  “I got one for that balloon prank and one for showing up late to class, but that’s it this year.”

 

This surprised her.  She was so used to him spending at least one night a week in detention that she had just assumed that things hadn’t changed this year.  “I’m sorry if I offended you, it’s just…”

 

“Old habits die hard, I get it,” James said, finishing Lily’s sentence for her.

 

Lily looked down at her feet as he spoke.  She didn’t want to argue with him, it was more energy than it was worth, but he was right, old habits did die hard.  She was used to arguing with him and picking fights over things that he had done before, which was rather obnoxious, now that she thought about it.  “If I agree to fly with you for a few minutes will we be even?”

 

James grinned once more and Lily relaxed.  He clearly was trying to stop being such a prat, which she appreciated, so she might as well give in to him a bit.  It would make Aurora happy, it would make Remus happy, and it clearly made James happy.  She felt strange admitting it, even to herself, but there was a part of her that was happy that he had grown up and that they were getting along better.

 

James took an extra pair of gloves out and helped her put them on.  His hand brushed against hers gently and she suddenly realize how close they were right now.  They hardly ever had proper one on one conversations, especially not when they were standing only a foot apart.  She knew that she was going to have to get much closer to him than this if she was going to share a broom with him, but even being this close was making her anxious and flustered.

 

Lily rolled her eyes as James placed his broom on the ground.  “It took more effort for you to put it down than it would have taken for you to just give it to me.”

 

“You need to be able to get the broom up,” James said, dragging her by the arm until she was in the proper position.

 

“Why?”

 

James ran a hand through his windblown hair.  “The broom needs to know that you’re in control and you need to have confidence that you’ll be able to control it once you’re in the air.”

 

It surprised her that he had a reasonable answer for her.  It surprised her even more when she starting giving the broom commands that he was encouraging, but not in an obnoxious, over the top kind of way.  She didn’t want to admit it, not even to herself, but James’s method of trying to teach her how to fly was making her much less stressed than Professor O’Hare’s or even Aurora’s had been.

 

After nearly a minute of yelling at James’s broomstick and feeling like an idiot, it finally rose off the grass and into the air.  Lily grabbed it with her right hand firmly.  “Now what?”

 

“Mount it,” James instructed.

 

Lily knew that if their friends were around, at least one of them would have started laughing at that instruction or made a comment about how dirty it sounded.  As it was, Lily tried to quickly push the thought out of her mind as she swung a leg over the broom.  She was starting to think that maybe she was being ridiculous and that this flying thing wasn’t going to be so bad after all when James got on the broom behind her.

 

She had always been aware of some things about James Potter.  There were the obvious things, like his glasses and his untameable hair.  There had been other things that she learned over the years, some of them good, like his intelligence, and some bad, such as his arrogance.  Their odd relationship this year, where they were more than acquaintances but Lily wasn’t quite sure if she would consider him a friend yet, had taught her new things about him, such as that his sense of humour wasn’t always mean and that he was exceptionally loyal to his friends, to the point that he would risk his life to help one of them.

 

The first few seconds on a broomstick with him also taught her a lot.  She had never been this close to him of her own free will and with the way the breeze was blowing, she was able to learn that his soap or deodorant gave him a wonderful smell.  As he slipped his arms by her torso and gripped the broom, she noticed that he had rather nice forearms.  She quickly told herself that she was being ridiculous and that she would probably notice this traits about any other boy who wanted to teach her how to fly, but James’s breath at her ear made her start second guessing herself.

 

“You ready?” he asked.

 

She barely had time to nod in reply when James told her to push off.  She did, though rather half-heartedly in an attempt to stay fairly close to the ground.  However, it seemed that James had other ideas because he seemed to have kicked off with force from the speed they were rising at.  A few stray strands of hair flew in front of her face and Lily was glad that she had chosen to put her hair up this morning.

 

“We’re going too high,” she shouted, after making the mistake of looking straight down and realizing just how far up he had taken them.

 

“What?” James shouted back.

 

After an internal debate, she gripped the broom even tighter and turned around to face James.  “I want to go lower!” she called.

 

“Then lean forward and tilt the nose of the broom down slightly.  Just be careful not to do it too much, or we’ll nosedive.”  James didn’t seem at all nervous to be flying so many feet up in the air.  On the contrary, he seemed to be having the time of his life.  His hair was even messier than normal at this height with the wind blowing all around them, which would have made Lily laugh if she wasn’t so focused on not plummeting to the pitch below.

 

She had turned her head forward once more and could feel her palms starting to sweat.  “What If I screw up?” she yelled.  She didn’t think that she would ever look to James Potter for reassurance but up here there was nobody else to turn to and nobody else to trust.

 

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Lily.”  He had spoken the words rather than shouted them, his mouth so close to her that his warm breath brushed across Lily’s ear.  He seemed so sincere that she couldn’t doubt him.

 

Taking a deep breath, Lily began to inch the nose of the broom downwards and lean her body forward.  She was surprised by how well James’s broom reacted to the little changes in angle and before she knew it, they were flying downwards and she was shrieking.  She had a bit of trouble getting the broom stabilized after pulling out of the dive, which James helped her with.

 

“Are you alright?” James asked, sounding nervous.  “You were squealing rather loudly.”

 

“I’m fine,” Lily replied quickly.  She was surprised at how unabashed she was at him pointing out her ridiculous reaction to the dive.  With more confidence than before, she said, “I want to circle the pitch now.”

 

James helped her steer as they circled the pitch at a leisurely speed twice.  Lily hardly noticed that by the end the second lap, James’s hands were brushed up against hers.  “Do you think you could land properly?” he asked.

 

She didn’t think she could, but she agreed to give it a try anyway.  She nearly made them tumble off the broom, which made James laugh, but they both made it back to the ground in one piece.  After Lily had calmed down about nearly crashing, she was able to agree with James that her landing would have been spectacularly awful without his help.

 

Once they had both stopped laughing at her expense, James gave her a lopsided grin and asked, “Do you want to really fly now?”

 

“We just were flying,” Lily said, confused.

 

James shook his head.  “We were flying, sure, but my Mum flies faster than that!  I meant do you want to see what it’s like to fly with somebody who is comfortable on a broom steering?”

 

While she had to admit that she could see why some people would think that flying was fun, her nerves were still rather shaken from the end of the last flight and she didn’t want to have to sit that close to James again.  However, her Gryffindor pride wouldn’t let her say no.  “Fine.”

 

“Excellent,” James said, grinning.  “You’re in for the ride of your life.”

 

He sat on his broomstick first and she climbed on behind him.  She started to wrap her hands around the handle of the broom, but James shook his head.  “You’re going to want to wrap your arms around my waist for this.”  Lily hesitated, but did what she was told.  “Tighter,” James instructed, until she felt like she was giving him a rather awkward hug from the back.  “Are you ready?”

 

She wasn’t sure if she was ready.  If he did something ridiculous while she was on the broom with him, she was screwed, but there was no way she could back out now.  “As ready as I’ll ever be to put my life in your hands.”

 

James laughed and kicked off of the ground hard.

 

Lily could tell the difference in their ascent almost immediately.  She had thought that it had been fast the first time, but it was nothing compared to how quickly they made their way up into the air when James was in control.  As awkward as the position was, she knew that he had been right to request that she wrap her arms around him tightly.  If she hadn’t, she would have flown off the back of the broom by now.  He was making the broom go much faster than she had, but she knew even then that this wasn’t anything like when he was flying full-out.

 

James started off slowly, as though he was trying to ease her into it.  He showed her the proper techniques for speeding up and slowing down, for making sharp turns and for changing altitudes.  She was starting to think that maybe flying wasn’t so bad, when James shouted over his shoulder, “Are you ready to have some fun?”

 

“You mean this isn’t fun?” Lily asked nervously.  It was exhilarating, flying through the air so quickly, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t simultaneously terrifying.  For once, she was glad that James was so close to her.  It was reassuring to know that there was at least one of them knew what they were doing on a broom.

 

Her feelings of safety soon disappeared as James directed the handle of the broom downwards and took a sharp dive.  Lily shrieked and clung onto him even tighter as the ground grew closer and closer with every passing moment.  It seemed like they were only seconds away from crashing when James made a sharp turn upwards.

 

“That wasn’t funny!” Lily yelled.

 

Even though she had spoken almost directly into his ear since she was so close to him, James didn’t seem bothered.  On the contrary, he started to laugh.  “I take it you never want to be a Seeker.”

 

“Ha, ha,” Lily said sarcastically.

 

“Okay, okay, that wasn’t funny,” James said.  He had cocked his head over his shoulder so he was looking at her, the twinkling in his eyes letting her know that while he would outwardly agree with her, he actually found his dive and her screaming quite amusing.  “Are you holding on tightly?”

 

The question made her nervous.  “Yes,” she said slowly, as she wrapped her arms around his waist even tighter.  She didn’t like the sound of where this was going and, surely enough, James set off again.  He shouted to hold on and she gripped him so tightly she was surprised he could still breathe.  It was a good thing she did, because James made the broom roll over in mid-air.

 

Lily screamed once more and she could hear James laughing.  “Bring me back down now,” she said firmly.

 

James must have noticed how tense she was, because he brought the broom back down slowly, not trying to do any more stunts or tricks.  He landed them gently and, as soon as her feet were on the ground, Lily let go of James’s waist.  She hurried off the broom and moved so she was several feet away from it and James, since a part of her worried he would try to convince her that she should fly with him again.  “That wasn’t funny,” she said seriously, looking James in the eye.

 

“C’mon Lils, it wasn’t that bad,” he said, placing his broom down and making his way towards her.

 

She shook her head furiously.  “Don’t you ‘Lils’ me.”  She held a hand out towards him which he made a move to take until he saw how badly she was trembling.  “Look, I’m shaking,” she said unnecessarily.

 

When James’s hazel eyes met her green ones, he seemed to realize just how serious she was being and how nerve-wracking the flight had been for her.  “What happened to your Gryffindor courage?” he asked, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile momentarily.  Lily could feel her cheeks growing warm and James quickly apologized.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be teasing you.  I didn’t think that it would scare you that much.”

 

“Clearly, you were wrong,” Lily grumbled.

 

“I know,” James said quickly, “and I promise that next time, I won’t try to do anything that extreme.  I’ll keep it as simple and painless as possible.”

 

Lily furrowed her eyebrows together as she looked up at James.  “Who says there’s going to be a next time?” she asked.

 

James grinned and pushed a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear.  “Of course you’re going to say that now, I just freaked you out.  But we both know you’re going to have to make up something to me sometime during the year after we get into another stupid argument.”

 

“You’ve never tried to make it up to me when you were an idiot,” Lily pointed out.

 

James’s smile faltered for a moment, but it quickly returned.  “Come with me,” he said, going back to pick up his broom.  “I’ve got to put all the Quidditch supplies back, but then I’ll take you to get a delicious piece of chocolate cake.”

 

“James, dessert isn’t for hours.”

 

“I know,” he said, grin wider than ever.  “I’m going to take you to the kitchens.”

 

Lily knew that, as a Prefect, she should protest.  However, she couldn’t resist finding out where the kitchens were and how the four boys always managed to get food.  “Just this once,” she said hesitantly.  “But you have to promise me that we won’t get caught.”

 

James grinned.  “Lily, my dear, a Marauder never gets caught.”

 

“I’m not your dear,” she said, shoving her hands in her pockets again.

 

He shrugged, seeming unbothered by her comment.  “Okay, that part might be up for debate, but the second part still stands.  You wouldn’t believe how many times we’ve gotten away with things.”

 

Lily raised an eyebrow.  “Do I want to know?”

 

“Probably not,” James said after a long pause.  “But once you see the kitchens, you’ll be begging to know all of my secrets.  That I can promise you.”


	13. A Sluggish Halloween Party

**Chapter Twelve – A Sluggish Halloween Party**

 

Autumn really set in over the next couple of weeks and it soon became necessary to wear a cloak whenever you went outside.  The leaves had changed colours and the trees were half-bare by the twenty-third, the day of the first Hogsmeade trip of the year.

 

Claire had left the Great Hall after wolfing down her breakfast at a rapid pace.  Apparently, she and Gary had made plans to leave for Hogsmeade as soon as Filch would let them through the gates.  Lily and Aurora had been more leisurely, going to sit with their friends at the Hufflepuff table when they were done eating.  As they five of them chatting, waiting for the massive group of people that always tried to leave as soon as they could to filter out of the Entrance Hall to be gone before they left themselves, Lily kept glancing out the open double doors to check if the crowd was gone.

 

When she could only see stragglers left, Lily announced, “Time to go.”

 

The five girls walked to Hogsmeade together, laughing and gossiping on the way.  Shortly after they arrived, Naomi and Aurora split off from the other three for their double date with two of the boys from their Muggle Studies class.  Apparently, Naomi had managed to set things up with Aurora and Leo pretty quickly.  Naturally, she had found a date for herself shortly after.

 

That left Lily, Pippa, and Liv to themselves.  They went to a couple of boutiques before heading to the Three Broomsticks, where they savoured the warmth that the butterbeer brought after spending time walking around the windy town.  At a table in the corner, Julius Avery was sitting with a woman who was about twenty-five, with long dark hair and hooded eyelids.  Six Hufflepuffs were sitting around a table near the loos, laughing loudly at something.  Their Defence Against the Dark Arts professor was sitting at the bar, laughing with a man Lily, Pippa, and Liv guessed to be her husband.

 

“Apparently, my sister’s boyfriend is going to be spending a lot of time at my house over the holidays,” Lily said as the young bartender, Madam Rosmerta, placed the food they had ordered in front of them.

 

“She’s still dating the fat guy who’s obsessed with drills?” Liv asked.  She was inspecting the chips on her plate as she spoke.  Lily knew she was looking for the crispiest ones, which were her favourite.

 

“That’s the one,” Lily replied.  She wasn’t sure if Vernon was actually obsessed with drills or if he had nothing going on in his life beside his job and his relationship with her sister, but there was no mistaking that description for anybody else.  “Apparently Petunia is very excited about it and has already been asking Mum to make sure I act ‘normal’ when I’m home.”

 

Liv rolled her eyes.  “She’s going to be fun to spend a couple weeks with.”

 

“You’re telling me.”  Lily bit into her thick chicken sandwich.

 

“Well, at least you’ll have people home,” Pippa replied.  “My mum has been so busy lately that I don’t know how much she’ll be around when I’m home.”

 

From letters they had exchanged in the summer, Lily knew that Pippa’s mother was working more and more hours over the last year and a half.  She worked as an Obliviator and with the problems that Voldemort and the Death Eaters were causing up and down the country there were a lot of Muggles who needed to have their memories modified.

 

“Well, even when she works weird hours she’s still home to sleep and for meals and stuff,” Liv replied.

 

Of all their friends, Liv and Pippa had always known each other best.  They had been very young when they met, having both grown up in the same area.  Their friendship had started due to their parents’ similar personalities and interests as Ravenclaws but by the time they entered primary school they had been a solid pair.  If anybody knew what was happening at another friend’s house, it was those two.

 

Pippa didn’t have time to respond before the door to the pub had opened and two familiar voices filled the room.  Lily was bracing herself for what was to come when Remus and James walked over to their little table.  They were trying and failing to conceal their bulging pockets, clearly filled from a recent shopping spree at Honeydukes and Zonko’s.

 

“Where are the other three?” Remus asked after pulling a chair from a nearby table over to join them.

 

“Claire’s with Gary,” Pippa began, moving over to make room for James, “and Naomi and Aurora are on a double date with guys from Muggle Studies.”

 

It was well known throughout the school that Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had spent the last two weeks in detention, so the others didn’t bother asking where they were.  Lily thought Remus looked grateful that the topic didn’t come up, since the reason for their punishments were so entangled with his secret.

 

Unable to flag Madam Rosmerta down, James went up to the bar to place his order.  When he came back he shoved a butterbeer into Remus’s hand.  “Food should be out soon,” he said.  “Good thing too, I’m bloody hungry.”

 

When he had settled back into his chair, his expression changed.  His hand was wrapped around his drink, Lily could see that he was focused on something over her shoulder.  She turned around, trying to figure out what had piqued his interest, but saw nothing.  Turning back around, she asked, “What are you looking at?”

 

“Avery’s sitting with Bellatrix.”

 

This meant nothing to Lily, but evidently it meant something to Remus because his bottle fell to the table with a loud thud.  “Shit,” he murmured, looking in the same direction as James with a similarly concerned expression on his face.  “Why would she want to talk to him?”

 

“Not for anything good,” James said.

 

“Excuse me, but who is Bellatrix?” Pippa asked quietly.

 

That seemed to snap the two boys out of their thoughts.   Leaning forward slightly, Remus explained, “She’s Sirius’s older cousin.  Graduated before we did.  Apparently she is pretty, uh, supportive of pureblood supremacy.”

 

“Sirius’s family has this ridiculous tapestry of their family tree dating back centuries,” James said.  “Her sister was disowned for marrying a Muggleborn.”

 

Lily felt her stomach clench.  She had always known that Sirius’s family had messed up ideas, but she had never bothered to learn the extent of it.  “Are you saying that they’re… supportive of You Know Who’s cause?”

 

James and Remus exchanged a glance.  “I don’t know if it went that far,” Remus said, “but they don’t really disagree with it either.”

 

Lily looked over her shoulder again, trying to get a better look at the woman Avery was talking to.  She supposed she was pretty in a way, with thick dark hair, but there was something about her that unsettled Lily.  Maybe it was just what James and Remus had said, but Lily felt herself feeling worried that she had taken the time to meet with Avery, who Lily thought was one of her crueler classmates.

 

Sirius’s cousin left after a few more minutes, with Julius Avery following her out not long after.  They didn’t discuss them any further after the pair had left the pub, but Lily could tell that the boys had the meeting on their minds too.  She wondered if they would tell Sirius about what they had seen when they got back up to the school.

 

They headed back to the castle in a large pack, walking near clusters of other students Lily didn’t know, determined to get back before curfew.  Lily watched as James and Remus moved between people, talking to her group of girlfriends and other Quidditch players, smiling and acting as though they didn’t have any cares in the world.  Yet, as they neared the gates to the grounds, they walked ahead more quickly, their long strides allowing them to get ahead of the others.  Heads tilted together, it was clear they were deep in discussion about something important.  Although she could no longer hear what they were saying, Lily felt like she knew the general idea of what was being discussed.

 

 

____________________________

 

Dinner that night was a noisy affair.  It seemed to Lily that being able to spend the day in the village had gotten everybody riled up, so they couldn’t resist showing friends their new purchases and talking about the freedom they had enjoyed that day more loudly than usual.  It seemed like even the younger kids, the ones who were not yet old enough to go to the village, were listening in on others, eyeing the parcels that were strewn about the table.

 

One of the only people who was quieter than usual was Sirius.  He was sitting several seats down the bench from Lily, but she found herself looking at him out of the corner of her eye every couple minutes.  He was scowling at his heaping plate, stabbing his veggies rather more violently than was necessary and only speaking when directly spoken to.

 

At first Lily had wondered if he was bitter about the fact that he still had two more weeks of detention and that he had been forced to miss the only school outing in the autumn.  Beside him Peter was in a much better mood, even though had not been allowed out either, which she had attributed to the fact that his detentions were coming to a close.  Yet, as time passed, she found her mind drifting to what – or rather, who – they had seen in the Three Broomsticks earlier.  Had James and Remus told him that they had seen his older cousin talking to Julius Avery?  If anything could put him in such a foul mood it was certainly his family.

 

She was midway through a thick slice of black forest cake, thinking about the very similar one that James had gotten for her from the kitchen earlier in the month, when she heard loud footfalls behind her.  When she looked over her shoulder, she saw that Professor Slughorn had made his way down from the staff table.  “Hello Professor,” Lily said with a smile, putting down her fork so she could talk to him.

 

“Hello m’girl.”  Lily knew that she had always been one of his favourites, despite the fact that he was the head of Slytherin house and that she was a Muggleborn.  “I wanted to let you know that I will be having a party for the Slug Club next Saturday, since it is the day before Halloween.”

 

“I’ll be there,” she assured him.

 

 This seemed to please Slughorn.  “Keep an eye out for my owl,” he said, before moving down the table to tell some other students about his party.

 

After he was out of earshot Lily turned back to Aurora and Claire, who had paused mid-discussion about their dates when their professor had shown up.  “Sorry that he keeps doing that in front of you guys.”

 

“It’s okay,” Claire assured her.

 

Beside Claire Aurora nodded in agreement.  “If you remember, I went to one of those parties with Sirius in fourth year,” Aurora said.  “Not my cup of tea.  You have to be a special kind of person to be able to deal with his get-togethers.”

 

Lily sighed, “He’s not that bad.”  She felt like she needed to defend her favourite professor, even though she knew why some students weren’t fond of him.  “He can be a bit over the top sometimes, I’ll give you that much.  But he means well.”  It was a conversation that she and Aurora had had several times, but they never were able to convince the other that they were right.

 

Claire seemed to sense that this was going to be another rehashing of the same conversation, so she tried to change the topic somewhat.  “So Lily, are you planning on bringing a date to the party?”

 

Her mouth full of chocolate cake, Lily shrugged.  After swallowing, she added, “No idea.”

 

Unfortunately for Lily, this wasn’t the answer that Claire and Aurora wanted from her.  They were still pestering her about it several minutes later when they were making their way back to their common room.  However, Lily was used to their teasing and didn’t let it bother her.  Her friends always had suggestions about who she should ask out, but she was perfectly content going to Slughorn’s parties and Hogsmeade with friends.  She did her best to listen to their suggestions politely, but quickly pushed them to the back of her mind.

 

When the following Saturday rolled around and she was still dateless Aurora gave her a half-hearted last minute suggestion (Lance MacFarlan, her fellow Chaser, was apparently quite fond of redheads), but she brushed it off.  While brushing a smoothing potion through her hair, she asked, “Do you really want the other Gryffindor Chasers to be glaring at each other during your first game?”

 

In the mirror, she watched Aurora’s reaction with a laugh.  Evidently, she realized that she had not thought this through.  “Fair point, well made,” Aurora conceded.  “Ravenclaw hasn’t won in years, but even if they haven’t improved they could win if James chucks the Quaffle at Lance’s head.”

 

Lily made her way from the dorm to the common room, which was brighter and louder than usual with students having early Halloween celebrations, with her friends.  Lily could see a suspiciously large collection of butterbeer bottles and cans of cola in the corner of the room, the sort of number that made it clear whoever got it had raided the kitchens or snuck out to Hogsmeade.  She knew that, as a Prefect, it was her duty to report this sort of thing but she couldn’t bring herself to care about it that strongly.  Frankly, she was just glad that the common room party didn’t appear to have any alcohol out and ready.  Pretending she hadn’t noticed the drinks, she waved goodbye to her friends and set out to meet Liv.

 

She and Liv had established a meeting place for these sorts of things years ago, at the top of a staircase leading to the lower floors.  On that particular night Lily found herself walking faster than usual, heels clicking against the floor, with her fingers wrapped firmly around her wand.  Between the fact that it was nearly Halloween and the evening copy of the _Daily Prophet_ had reported that the Dark Mark had been seen over a Muggle dwelling less than an hour from her home, she was more on edge than usual.

 

Thankfully, Lily could see Liv leaning against the wall as soon as she rounded the next corner.  As soon as Lily had made her way to the Ravenclaw, they set off down the stairs to Slughorn’s party.

 

The room that Slughorn had managed to secure for his Halloween party was much larger than his office, with tall ceilings and a nice view of the Forbidden Forest.  Or at least, what would have been a nice view of the Forbidden Forest had the ceiling and walls not been partially covered with black draping.  Jack-o-lanterns of all sizes were placed wherever Slughorn had found a spare bit of room, including between platters of food along the far wall.  Someone had also enchanted candles, which were floating around the room near the tall ceiling, providing lighting.

 

Lily was still trying to take it all in when Slughorn came over to greet them.  He had an orange waistcoat stretched over his massive belly, which gave Lily a brief feeling that he had come dressed as a rather large pumpkin.  “Lily, Lavinia!  How wonderful to see you!”

 

Lily looked at Liv and tried to suppress a smile.  To her friends Liv had always been Liv, but most of their professors seemed to insist on calling her Lavinia when they did not call her Ms. Madley.  It was no surprise that Slughorn, who had a flair for the dramatic and over-the-top himself, called her Lavinia rather than her chosen nickname.  Lily was overwhelmingly glad that Liv was also a member of the Slug Club after what had transpired with Severus the year before.  She didn’t care whether it was the fact that her friend was pretty, feisty, and smart or her family connections, from having Unspeakables as parents to a former Head Boy as an older brother, that had gotten Liv her first invitation to the Slug Club years ago.  The fact that she had a friend to talk to at these things was enough for her.

 

After the girls had made their way past Slughorn and into the party, Liv turned her head down to speak to her friend, who was a good five inches shorter than her.  “I don’t know why we had to show up as soon as it started.  He wouldn’t have noticed if we showed up a bit late.”

 

Lily shook her head, a carefully styled ringlet falling over her shoulder as she moved.  “He would have noticed,” Lily whispered back.  “This way you can leave early if you want.”

 

“Good point,” Liv conceded.  Lily wondered if the Ravenclaws were throwing a party tonight, too.  “But if I want to go, you cannot stop me.”

 

“If you leave then I’ll be stuck alone with Severus, James, and Sirius trying to speak with me,” Lily said.  She knew that it was probably not going to work on Liv, but she had to at least try to make her feel slightly guilty.

 

Liv rolled her eyes.  “If you don’t want to be stuck with them you can leave with me, nobody’s stopping you.  Or, if you don’t want to, you can talk to somebody else.  Or maybe you can tell them all to fuck off.”  She grinned as she offered the last suggestion.

 

Lily chuckled.  The comment was typical Liv, blunt and slightly offensive but what she wished she could say nevertheless.  “Thanks for the advice, but I don’t know how well that would go over.”

 

“I’ve said this before and I will say it again Lils, if you want to get what you want from men there are two simple ways to do it: flirting and swearing to prove your point.  They never know quite how to react at first, which gives you the chance you need to make your getaway.”

 

The two girls were asked if they would like a drink then, and they both accepted the offer.  Lily raised her eyebrows while spinning the straw around in her glass.  “I take it that’s worked for you in the past.”

 

Liv grinned.  “Of course,” she said.  “It would work for you too if you didn’t take to yelling shrilly while telling people off all the time.”

 

“I’m not shrill,” Lily protested, which caused Liv to roll her eyes and say, “Sure Lil.  If you say so.”

 

Before Lily had the chance to protest, she heard an all too familiar voice behind her.  Turning to look at the door, she could see Severus Snape and Julius Avery making their way into the room.  Snape had been invited to be a member of the Slug Club because of his potions skills and because, for reasons that Lily now did not understand, Slughorn seemed to love him.

 

From what she was able to figure out, much of which had been with the help of Snape, Avery was the grandson of an important wizard who had invented some complicated potion or another.  He himself was rather cruel, although much better at keeping his evil ways quiet than Rossier, for example, which meant that Slughorn didn’t have any reason to exclude him from his exclusive club.  She wondered what Slughorn would think of him meeting with Bellatrix Black Lestrange the week before.

 

From over Lily’s shoulder, Liv’s voice asked, “Did you hear what that son of a bitch did the other day?”  Lily shook her head in response, so Liv continued.  “Apparently, he knocked out a first year and then broke the poor kid’s arm.  They can’t prove it was him, because nobody saw it, or at least nobody who is willing to speak about it.”

 

Lily’s stomach twisted.  “That’s awful,” she whispered, staring at Avery.  He was talking to Snape and to a seventh year Slytherin, telling a story rather animatedly.  “Even if you believe purebloods are better than everybody else, why would you try to hurt a first year?”

 

“Well, he’s a douche,” Liv said, “so I don’t think he really needs a reason to be awful.  Mixed with the fact that he’s not exactly the best wizard in school, he probably figured he could at least take out a first year without trouble.”  She lowered her voice even further before adding, “And, if you can believe what you hear about Avery’s family, he comes by his cruelty honestly.  From what I can tell, in addition to doing something with a memory potion, his grandfather tried to introduce regulations about Muggleborns coming to Hogwarts.  He failed, obviously, but he still was enough of a prick to try.”

 

Lily hadn’t thought it would be possible to dislike Avery even more than she already did, but she could feel rage bubbling up inside of her.  She clenched her fists at her sides as she glared at Avery, his short dark hair glinting in the light of the enchanted candles.  “He is so _vile_ ,” she said, stressing the last word.

 

“Makes it easy to see why the guys don’t have a problem hexing them, doesn’t it?”

 

Even though she didn’t want to admit it since, as a Prefect, she should be strictly against the use of force on other students and vigilante justice in general, Lily had to admit that Liv had a point.  “If anybody has it coming in this school, he is one of them.”

 

A big smile came across Liv’s pretty face.  “Speak of the devil, look who just arrived.”

 

Once again, Lily turned around to the door.  Slughorn was eagerly greeting Sirius, who seemed to be hardly paying attention, and James, who was smiling, but running a hand through his hair.  It had not been surprising when the two boys were invited to be members of the Slug Club, since they were not only from respected pureblood families, albeit ones known for different things, but they were also two of the smartest students in their year.  When their Quidditch skills were tossed in, especially in James’s case, it was not at all surprising that Slughorn had wanted to “collect” them.

 

“Looks like neither of them have dates,” Liv said.  When Lily turned back to look at her, she could see that Liv looked impressed.

 

Lily rolled her eyes.  “Don’t look so eager.  They probably just wanted to come together.”

 

Liv laughed.  “Now that would be a pity,” she said quietly.  “Like them or not, you have to admit that they are a good looking pair.  It would be a genetic waste if they were together.”

 

Before she had the chance to reply, Slughorn made his way to the centre of the room so he could make his traditional speech at the start of his party.  “Welcome, welcome everyone!” he said loudly, looking around the room excitedly.  “It is a pleasure to have you all here to celebrate Halloween as a group of some of the most talented students in Hogwarts.”

 

His speech continued for several more minutes.  Even though he was her favourite professor, Lily did have to admitting that he seemed to like the sound of his own voice.  It could be bad enough in class, when he would continue to give them instructions long after they had gotten the point, but when they were supposed to be paying attention to him at a party, it was even harder to focus.  Beside Lily, Liv whispered, “I swear, I would find this much more interesting and worth listening to if I could have a proper drink instead of butterbeer.”

 

Lily tried to ignore her friend; she had always made a point to pay attention to professors, even when it was dull.  She didn’t always succeed, but especially since she had been made a Prefect, she thought that it was her job to set an example for other students.  However, if she was grateful when Slughorn finally let the party begin.

 

“That was quite the speech there,” said the boy beside Liv.  He was a tall, handsome seventh year and he clearly was either from an important family or was talented himself.  Lily didn’t know what house he was in but even though she didn’t know him, she still thought she knew how this was going to go.  He did not take his eyes off of Liv as he outstretched his hand and said, “I’m Oscar Smith, by the way.”

 

“Liv Madley,” Liv said with a beaming smile, holding out her hand in return.  “And this is my friend, Lily Evans.”

 

He finally looked away from Liv to give Lily a quick handshake as well.  “Pleasure to meet you both,” he said.  Looking back at Liv, he said, “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

 

Liv smiled.  “I don’t either.  I’m sure I’d remember you,” she said flirtatiously.  She then gave Lily a look that clearly said, “Please leave me alone so I can hit on him.”

 

“If you two will excuse me, I’d like to go… get another drink.”  Lily realized that it was a pretty pathetic excuse, seeing as she still had half of her drink left, but neither Oscar nor Liv seemed to be paying attention to her or what she was saying.  She slipped away without saying another word and started to make her way to the refreshment table, intending to get some food rather than another drink like she had said.

 

She was only a few feet away from the refreshment table when she felt a hand gently grab her left forearm.  She turned to see who it was and found herself face to face with Severus Snape.  Knowing that she was being rude, she sighed audibly.  “What?” she asked, exasperated.

 

“I need to talk to you,” he said, much more urgently than she had been expecting.

 

Perhaps it was his urgency that made her follow him, or perhaps it was just habit to go talk to him at Slughorn’s parties after five years of them, or perhaps it was because she had nobody else to talk to.  Whatever the reason was, she found herself near one of the corners, standing across from Snape with her arms crossed over her chest.  “Well?” she asked rather impatiently.  “What do you need to tell me?”

 

Even though he had been speaking so urgently, he looked around the room.  Lily couldn’t help but follow his gaze, trying to see who he was looking at, without luck.  Quickly and urgently, he began to speak.  “Lils, it isn’t safe here anymore.”

 

“What do you mean?” she asked, eyebrows furrowed.  “I realize that it’s dangerous outside, but this is Hogwarts.  What could be so dangerous here?”

 

Snape suddenly looked like a deer caught in a car’s headlights.  “I can’t tell you.”

 

“You came all the way over here to tell me that you can’t tell me anything?” Lily snapped angrily.  She knew that she should not have been expecting anything decent from Snape after everything that he and his friends had done, but it was hard to entirely give up on somebody who used to be one of your best friends.  She no longer wanted to be friends with him or even to talk to him and she had thought that he was smart enough to know that she didn’t want him to waste anymore of her time.

 

She was fuming at Snape for his useless warning when she made her way back over the refreshment table.  She was angry and knew that this was not the time nor place to start yelling, so she wanted to get comfort food.  The cakes and pastries on the table now were looking even more appealing than they had before.  She could always count of them to be tasty (at least, as long as James wasn’t around), unlike friends who would call her names or who would leave her on her own if presented with the opportunity to chat up a cute boy who fancied her.

 

Unfortunately for Lily, she was stopped before she could reach the refreshment table once again.  This time, she was stopped by James on one side and Sirius on her other.  Only inches from her ear came Sirius’s overly perky voice, saying, “What are you doing all by yourself today Lily?”

 

“I just got away from Snape,” Lily said harshly, shoving the boys out of the way so she could grab a snack from the dessert table.  She wasn’t sure if they let her push by them because they knew she was angry, but she also knew that it might have been because they were shocked by what she had just said.

 

She had only just wrapped her fingers around something resembling a Muggle butter tart when a hand on her shoulder spun her around.  “What did he say?” Even though his hand was still on her shoulder, James was not paying any attention to her.  Instead, he was looking around the room, obviously searching for Snape. “Did he hurt you?”

 

“I’m fine,” Lily replied, shrugging his hand off of her shoulder.  “He didn’t have much to tell me; the only thing he said was that Hogwarts wasn’t safe.  He refused to go into more detail about it though, so I think he was just trying to be an ass.”

 

“He’s good at that, believe me, but I think he was actually being serious,” James said quietly.

 

Lily had been expecting James to jump at the chance to insult Snape, so his comment surprised her.  “What do you mean, you think he was being serious?  This is Hogwarts.  If I was at home with my parents, yeah, I’d be putting them and me at risk of attack.”  She tried not to think of what she had read in the paper only hours before.  “But… Dumbledore…”  Even though she had started off confidently, the looks on James and Sirius’s faces let her know that she was missing a vital piece of information.

 

“Do you want to tell her, or should I?” Sirius asked, looking at James.

 

Lily looked back and forth between the two boys in an attempt to get some sense of what they were talking about, but James was also not looking at her.  His hazel eyes were fixed on his best mate and he shrugged.  “You can tell her.  You probably know more about it than I do anyway.”

 

Sirius nodded briskly and grabbed Lily’s hand.  He dragged her way from the refreshment table, bringing her to an empty spot on the side of the room, with James following close behind them.  She had not been looking forward to the first conversation she had in a corner and she was not much more excited to have this one.  Even though she had more faith in James and Sirius than Snape, which was something she never would have expected a year ago, she didn’t like the sound of this.  They were clearly worried, and they did not worry very often.

 

Once the boys seemed content in their location, Sirius began to speak.  “I’m sure you’ve managed to figure this out, because it isn’t exactly a well-kept secret, but my family is rather well known for its… tolerance of the Dark Arts.”

 

Lily nodded and said, “I know.”  Even though she was a Muggleborn, it had not taken her long to realize this.  Sirius’s older cousin and his brother had both been in Slytherin during the time she had been at Hogwarts, and even though she tolerated the Slytherins more than many other Gryffindors, she knew that they each were friends with what her mum would call the “wrong crowd”.  From what James had told her in September, it was clear that Sirius didn’t get along with his family very well if he now lived with James’s parents.  She didn’t doubt that before he lived with the Potters that he had heard some pretty awful things from his family.

 

Sirius looked uncomfortable and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets.  After looking at his shoes for a moment, he said, “Well, He Who Must Not Be Named is… gaining support among a lot of the old wizarding families.”

 

Lily’s hand flew up to her mouth.  “Oh Sirius.  Your family…  Your parents…”  She wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence, but it didn’t seem to matter.  Sirius had clearly gotten the point and was shaking his head furiously.

 

“No, they aren’t his followers,” he said quickly.  “They think he has the right idea, but they’re not actually supplying him with gold or…” he paused, “manpower.  At least, my immediate family isn’t.”

 

It took a few seconds for the last word to sink in.  “Manpower,” she whispered, looking back and forth between James and Sirius, wishing that one of them would tell her she had the wrong idea.  “Do you mean that people are now seeking him out to join him?”

 

Both boys nodded.  This time, James answered her.  “News of what has been happening has been spreading over the past few years, it’s not like he can keep his existence a secret anymore.  I suppose it’s only natural that people who share his ideology would seek him out.  It’s disgusting, but natural that bigots want to join a bigger bigot who is trying to get rid of the people they hate.”

 

Lily felt nauseous.  “When you mentioned your immediate family, do you think your extended family…” she trailed off, not sure what words to use.  How did you ask somebody if he was related to people who had joined a hate group?

 

“I think so,” Sirius said.  He looked as bad as she felt.

 

“What does this have to do with Hogwarts, though?” she asked.

 

James bit his lip.  “Sirius’s cousin was talking to Avery last week.  The cousin who is most, uh, receptive to these thoughts, as far as Sirius could tell.”

 

The memory of Avery in the Three Broomsticks, hunched over an out of the way table with Bellatrix was seared into her mind.  He had been alone and doing his best not to be seen.  She had seen him leaving with his friends, back when she had been sitting in the Great Hall, and walking around the village with them after they left the pub, but he hadn’t been with them then.  Clearly, whatever he had been discussing was something he had wanted to keep secret.

 

Breaking the silence when it was clear she would not, Sirius said, “I picked up on some things that we happening between my brother and his friends before I left.  They didn’t even try to keep it quiet that they wanted to join You Know Who when they leave school.”

 

“I knew the same thing about Snape’s friends and him, I suppose, even though I tried to convince myself he wouldn’t do that,” Lily admitted.  “But–”

 

“Wannabe Death Eaters are at Hogwarts, Lily,” James said, cutting her off.  “You’re a smart girl, we don’t need to tell you what that means for Muggleborns like you or blood traitors like us.”

 

As she tried to process the words, her gaze drifted across the room.  Avery was standing with a few other Slytherins, including Severus, Sirius’s younger brother, and a boy and a girl from seventh year.  He was laughing at something or another, looking as though he did not have a care in the world.

 

Green eyes still wide, she looked back to James and Sirius.  If what they said was true, there might not be a safe place left in the country for Muggleborns.


	14. The Doe, the Lions, and the Eagles

**Chapter Thirteen – The Doe, the Lions, and the Eagles**

 

Lily had always prided herself on how well she did in school.  She knew it made her sound immodest, but she knew that she was smart and good at magic.  She had taken pride in both of those things.  They had helped her feel like she could take a small stand against the bigots in her class who looked down on her for having Muggle parents by besting them in things.

 

That was part of the reason why she was so disappointed in herself for struggling with casting a Patronus in Defence Against the Dark Arts.  She had been close, so close several times.  She was now able to get the silvery mist of a Patronus without much issue.  She’d even gotten glimpses of ears one time, but she had never been able to produce so much as a corporeal Patronus head until the week previously.

 

After Liv’s swan and James’s stag, they had spent some time on other creatures with the instruction to practice and that they would return to Patronuses later.  They had made their way back to the Patronus charm the week before and there had been several others who managed to produce corporeal Patronuses in class.  Most notably, Claire had successfully made a dolphin Patronus and the massive shaggy dog Sirius had created had bolted around the room.

 

Lily had taken to practicing more than before, determined to get the spell before they moved on.  She tried to tell herself that if she was determined enough and more focused on how she felt during the memory itself that she could pull it off.  Finally, while practicing the spell in an abandoned classroom over the weekend, she had finally done it.

 

When Professor Montgomery told them that they could resume practicing and that she would be recording which students reached which level of success by the end of the class, Lily had been confident that she could do it.

 

Her first few attempts failed, but she told herself not to get flustered.  She tried to block out the talking of Liv, Claire, James, and Sirius while their now familiar swan, dolphin, stag, and shaggy dog moved around them.

 

“Can you keep it down a bit?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, some of us actually need to concentrate here,” Aurora said.  She had been yet to produce a Patronus outside of class, a fact she was rather touchy of.  She was ready to admit that she did not have the love of learning just to learn or the natural proclivity for school of some of her friends, but even she did not like being left behind.

 

“Sorry,” Claire said.  She had told her friends that she was very happy watching her dolphin swim through the air, so Lily didn’t doubt that she actually did intend to pipe down with hopes that her friends would be successful.

 

A few minutes after congratulating Remus on his first corporeal wolf, Lily finally got her success.  Focusing on her memory of being named a witch officially, parents beaming at her and full of hope for the future, she said, “ _Expecto patronum_.”

 

With a force that shocked her, she watched as her Patronus burst forth from the tip of her wand.  The head first, with two pointy ears and a snout, followed by the rest… long neck, body, tuft of a tail, and four slender legs ending with hooves.  After settling down on the floor gracefully the doe sprinted around as light as air, vanishing somewhere near the back of the room.

 

Lily felt her friends clap her on the back and their cries of congratulations and that she did it.  She grinned, both because of her friends’ comments and out of relief and pride that she had finally gotten the hang of it in front of their professor.  She was so pleased that she couldn’t bring herself to get angry when she heard the boys talking.

 

“Did you see that?  Did you see what her Patronus was?” Peter asked James in what Lily assumed was supposed to be a whisper.

 

“ _Of course_ he fucking saw it,” Sirius said.  “But man, do you know what that means?”

 

“It was a doe.”  James’s voice was calm, oddly so compared to his friends.  When Lily looked, he seemed almost in shock.

 

“You’re damn right it was a doe,” Sirius said, a wide grin on his face.  “And you’re a stag.  There’s no way she can say no to you now.”

 

Lily raised an eyebrow.  “I would appreciate if you stopped talking about what I can or cannot do,” she said.  Despite herself, she was amused.  “So what that they’re both deer?”  
  
“She’s right, there’s no way it can mean anything,” Remus said, hands in his robe pockets.

 

Lily had the feeling that her fellow prefect was deadpanning, but she didn’t want to fight now so she ignored it and turned back to her friends.  She wasn’t going to let stupid speculation about the forms their Patronuses had taken get to her right now.  She had done it.  And, as a bonus, the look on the face of her former best friend from across the room let her know that her doe had suddenly made him very uncomfortable.

 

 

 

 

There was always something about the first Quidditch match of the season that Lily loved.  The leaves had changed into their autumn colours and many of them had fallen, to be blown off in the breeze or to litter the front lawn of Hogwarts.  Even though she was nearly seventeen, Lily could still appreciate the pleasure that jumping in a pile of freshly raked leaves could bring, which she and her friends had done the night before.  It was something that all six of them, with their different backgrounds and tastes, had been able to enjoy since they first became friends.

 

The first weekend in November was beautiful.  The sun was shining and there was a smattering of light grey clouds that were drifting lazily across the sky.  The morning of the seventh was chilly, but it warmed up nicely by the time the Quidditch teams were making their way out of the castle and into their respective change rooms.  The weather was perfect for the hundreds of people who were looking forward to the match that Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were about to play.

 

There was a lot of discussion throughout the castle about which team had the better chance of winning.  Ravenclaw had not won since the 1971-1972 season, although they had come in second the previous year.  Gryffindor had won the year after Ravenclaw, which had been their middle year in the finals in a three-year streak, but the only year they had won.  Judging from the recent winning statistics, Ravenclaw had the leg up.

 

The disadvantage that Ravenclaw had was that they had two new players, while Gryffindor only had the one.  Ravenclaw had a new Chaser, second year Valencia Gamp, and a new Beater, fifth year Kenneth Flint.  Gryffindor, on the other hand, only had a new Keeper, fourth year Athena Young.  On average Gryffindor’s team was slightly older, but Ravenclaw had two seventh years.

 

The fact that the two teams were so evenly matched made for several heated discussions before the match.  Ravenclaw had done better the year before, but they had lost their star Chaser.  Gryffindor had a young Keeper, but the general consensus was that people believed James Potter would be able to lead the Gryffindors to victory.  The season had barely started and things were getting interesting already.

 

Lily and her friends made their way out of the castle and towards the Quidditch pitch as a group, with the exception of Aurora, who had already been whisked away by James.  Lily and Claire both had on red jumpers and their red and gold scarves in true Gryffindor style, plus gold shoes in Lily’s case and a fashionable red hat in Claire’s.  It was an unusual sight to see Liv walking between them in her Ravenclaw garb; usually students would teasingly tell their friends from other houses that they couldn’t be seen together on game day.  Pippa and Naomi had announced that they would be cheering for Gryffindor today, much to Liv’s dismay, for two reasons: one, because Aurora was playing and two, because Gryffindor were the underdogs after their poor finish that past spring.

 

The girls managed to find themselves a spot on a bench near the division of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor fans.  Liv placed herself closest to the spectators wearing blue while Claire and Lily sat near the spectators wearing red, with Naomi and Pippa settling down in between the two factions.

 

Even though they had arrived twenty minutes prior to the start of the match, the excitement of the impending game made the time fly by.  Before Lily knew it the announcer, a fourth year Hufflepuff, was announcing the two teams were making their way onto the field.  “And here come the players!  Potter, Gracin, MacFarlan, Black, Crockford, Young, and Spencer in red for Gryffindor!”  The announcer was cut off as a loud cheer through half the stadium from the red clad Gryffindor supporters, stomping their feet and clapping their hands for their team.

 

As the cheers started to dwindle, the magically enhanced voice rattled off the names of the Ravenclaw players. “Smith, Doyle, Gamp, Reid, Flint, Milne, and Ward!”  The other half of the stadium began to cheer, receiving some boos from the Gryffindor supporters.  “The referee walks onto the heels and the two captains, Potter for Gryffindor and Milne for Ravenclaw, meet in the middle of the pitch to shake hands.”  It was hard to see James’s features from where they were sitting on the pitch, but Lily had the feeling that he was trying to crush Milne’s hand and vice versa.  They then mounted their brooms and flew into the air, forming a circle with the rest of the players.

 

“The Golden Snitch is released, followed by the Quaffle, and the game begins!”

 

The game got off to a quick start.  James scored Gryffindor’s first ten points within five minutes, which was followed quickly by two Ravenclaw goals on Gryffindor’s rookie Keeper.  “Come on Athena,” Lily whispered, leaning forward.

 

It seemed that James had the same idea that she did, because he flew over to the hoops she was guarding and talked to her for a few seconds before flying off to join the action once more.  “It looks like James is actually a rather encouraging captain,” Pippa mused to Lily’s right.  Lily was not surprised to hear that James being encouraging pleased Pippa, since Pip had always been the cheerleader of sorts in their group of friends.  Extremely empathetic, she hated to see other people down.

 

“It’s–” Lily was going to agree, but she lost her train of thought as one of the Ravenclaw Beaters batted a Bludger in their general direction.  Even though it changed direction many feet in front of where the girls were, Lily couldn’t help but feel like it was dumb to not get out of the way of a heavy ball that was heading straight for your face.

 

The loud commentary filled the stadium with a play by play.  “Doyle of Ravenclaw heading towards Young, the new Gryffindor Keeper.  She seems to be lacking confidence, she’s already let in two easy shots and…” there was a cheer, “She got that one by her fingertips!  Gracin has the Quaffle now, heading to the Ravenclaw hoops…”

 

Lily winced as a Bludger made its way towards Aurora, but she took a sharp turn upwards to avoid it as Lyle Crockford whizzed by her and sent the Bludger in the direction of Milne, the Ravenclaw Keeper and Captain.  “Gracin passes the ball to MacFarlan, who passes it to Potter, who passes it back to MacFarlan,” the commentator was speaking very quickly to keep up with the frequent passing between the Gryffindor Chasers, “and MacFarlan takes a shot… Ooh, Milne has it!”

 

Alistair Milne tossed the Quaffle with one hand to Smith, who didn’t get too far before—“That’s got to hurt!  Black just got Smith’s foot with a Bludger.  Potter has the Quaffle and… ten points for Gryffindor!”  The last few words were partially drowned out by the cheering that had erupted from the Gryffindor fans.

 

Above the pitch, Ronan Spencer was circling, looking for the Snitch.  Occasionally he was passed by Clementine Ward, the only Sixth Year on the Ravenclaw team, who was taking very similar actions as him.  They were just passing each other when Ward suddenly took a dive towards where the others were playing, with Spencer right on her heels.

 

“It looks like Ward has seen the Snitch!  She had a few seconds of a lead on Spencer, who is trying to catch up!”  Lily could see a glint of gold, fluttering near the Gryffindor goal posts.  Ward was nearing in on it when both Bludgers neared her at the same time.  She had to roll in midair to avoid one, and the other nearly hit the Snitch, sending it flying away.

 

A few people down, Lily could hear Liv cursing Sirius and Lyle, since they had successfully distracted her team’s Seeker long enough for the Snitch to disappear.  For some reason, the cursing made Lily smile.

 

Clementine’s Ward near miss of the Snitch was the last of its kind for several minutes.  The score remained fairly close, as the Gryffindor Keeper seemed to gain more confidence after she made a few spectacular saves.  She had finally gotten into the groove she had been in during tryouts, when she stopped all ten of the shots, and there were only twenty points scored by each side for the next forty-five minutes of play.

 

“They weren’t kidding when they said this was a pretty even match,” Naomi said, after Milne made another spectacular save.  It was only minutes after she spoke that several things happened at once.

 

The three Gryffindor Chasers started down the pitch together, passing the Quaffle quickly between them as they went.  Down the field, Flint wound up to send a Bludger at the Chasers at the same time that Crockford was winding up to send a Bludger at him.  And in the midst of all the action in the middle of the pitch, Ronan Spencer flew up between two of the Ravenclaw Chasers and started zooming down the pitch after the Golden Snitch.

 

Lily wasn’t quite sure where to look.  Her eyes kept darting from the Chasers to the two Seekers, Ward now following Spencer, and occasionally to where the Bludgers were heading.  Flint got out of the way just in time while, seconds later, the second Bludger just missed Lance and hit part of his flapping robes.  The commentator was yelling excitedly while most of the fans were on their feet and yelling at the players as James tossed the Quaffle, which Milne missed by inches as it soared past his fingertips and through the right hoop.

 

Lily’s eyes immediately drifted back to Ronan Spencer, who was closing in on the Snitch quickly.  The announcer had barely finished announcing that James had scored when Ronan’s outstretched hand closed around the tiny ball and he let out a loud, triumphant whoop.  He began to make his way to the ground, but he was still several feet above it when he got his first pat on the back from his teammates.

 

The commentator’s announcement of, “Gryffindor wins two hundred to forty!” came after the students had already begun to make their way out of the stands and down to the grassy pitch below.

 

It took some jostling through the crowd, but the five girls finally reached Aurora.  She was beaming from ear to ear, with several strands of her honey coloured hair having fallen out of its ponytail and her hazel eyes shining.  “Wasn’t the match brilliant?” she asked as Lily pulled her into a hug.

 

“It was,” Lily agreed as she pulled away to give Claire a chance to hug Aurora.  “That was quite the finish you guys had.”

 

If possible, Aurora’s grin grew even wider.  “I know!  It was un-fucking-believable.”

 

Liv rolled her eyes while the other girls laughed.  “Congrats anyway, even though you did beat us,” she said grudgingly.

 

“Thanks!” Aurora said excitedly as, from behind her, there was a loud call of “Rory!”

 

“Coming,” she called back over her shoulder, before turning back to her friends.  “You guys should come talk to the rest of the team.”  Before any of them had the chance to respond she had set off through the crowd again, leaving the rest of her friends to follow behind her, whether they wanted to talk to the rest of the team or not.

 

The team was gathered together, with four of the six team members talking animatedly.  The only two who were not trying to speak over the others were little Ronan Spencer, who was still clearly thrilled at his brilliant catch of the Snitch, and James, who was looking around at his team proudly.  He seemed to be in awe of the fact that he had just won his first match as Captain.  When he saw the six girls making their way towards him he grinned and, for a split second, Lily thought he was going to say something cheeky to her before he gave Aurora a huge hug.

 

“We are going to kick ass this year!” he said loudly, which resulted in several of the Gryffindor fans and players around him voicing their own, equally loud, opinions.

 

Cheerfully, Naomi said, “You guys were all wonderful!” before going to give everybody hugs.  Lily couldn’t help but smirk at how shocked Ronan seemed to be that a busty sixteen year old was hugging him and at the coy smiles that Naomi gave to the older boys.  She was a flirt, through and through.

 

“Just don’t expect your next match to be this easy,” Pippa said cheekily, which caused Aurora to give her a playful shove.

 

“You guy did terribly last year,” Aurora countered.

 

Pippa shrugged.  Even though she knew a lot about Quidditch and followed the sport, she was not nearly as competitive as Aurora about it.  Pippa claimed it was because she didn’t play, but Lily thought it was just because Pip didn’t have it in her to be mean to anybody, even if it was the opposing sports team.  “Your team didn’t do very well either, if you remember.”

 

Aurora made a face and from behind her, Sirius said, “That’s just because we didn’t have Jamsie-boy here as our Captain.”

 

James shoved Sirius, who was trying to ruffle his already windblown hair, away from him.  “It was one match, don’t get ahead of yourself,” he said, sounding embarrassed at Sirius’s excitement.  “If we make it to the finals, then you can claim that I should have been team captain all along.”

 

“A second year Captain who’d never played on the team before?  Now that would be a sight,” Sirius joked.  “You could have made history books with that.”

 

Standing across from his friends with his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers, Remus shook his head.  “James, you do realize that you’ve just given him,” he nodded his chin in Sirius’s direction, “permission to be even more of a pest than usual?”

 

“Only if we make the finals,” James clarified, “and if we make the finals, I’ll be so happy that we made it that I should be able to ignore him pretty well.”

 

“Hey!” Sirius said grumpily, as the others laughed at him.  But, being Sirius, he managed to put the teasing behind him quickly and by the time he and the rest of the team headed off to the change rooms to shower, he could be heard saying, “I’m starving, we need to make a trip to the kitchens.”

 

“You do realize that your Prefects are standing right here, right?” Lily pointed between Remus and herself.  “That’s not really the kind of declaration you should be making in front of us.”

 

Sirius shrugged.  “I talk like that in front of Remus all the time.”

 

Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest.  “You want to bring everybody down with you, don’t you?”  The comment got a laugh from others, especially Peter.  “You better be glad I’m in a good mood Sirius, otherwise you’d be back in detention.”  She was surprised to realize that she was only partially teasing him.

 

“I just got out of detention yesterday!” Sirius muttered, which made Lily smile.

 

“We’ll just slip in and out, don’t worry,” Peter said, coming to his friend’s rescue.  “We can even bring you some food if you want.”

 

“Bribery?” Lily raised an eyebrow at Peter, which made his cheeks go pink.  “That might work.”

 

Several of the others turned to look at her.  “Lily Evans, being bribed by rule breakers?” Sirius said, placing his hand over his heart.  “I thought this day would never come.”


	15. The Marauder’s Map

**Chapter Fourteen – The Marauder’s Map**

 

 

After the back-to-back full moon and Quidditch match, James was glad that the rest of the week had been slow going.  On the Thursday, he and Lily had spent their free period discussing the fact that she had a poppy on her jumper.

 

“Usually people don’t use actual flowers,” she said, pulling at her clothing to get a better look at the fragrant flower.  “Typically, Muggles have ones that won’t die or get easily crushed.  I had to improvise here, so I transfigured a broken quill this morning.”

 

“I wouldn’t be able to tell if you hadn’t told me,” he assured her.  Or, at least, he had hoped it was assuring.  She seemed to be trying to decide how much she believed his compliments, before apparently determining that he didn’t have anything nefarious planned.  That wasn’t really fair, since he never tried to cause her problems or lie to her, but it was entirely unexpected.

 

“Do you know much about the First World War?” she asked.

 

“Of course,” James said, a little offended.  “It’s not like witches and wizards didn’t notice that the Muggles were butchering each other left and right.  There was a lot of debate about the role we should have during it.”

 

There was no question that his answer surprised her.  She tried to hide it, but James could tell that she had been expected him to be oblivious to the history.  “You say ‘we’ like you were part of it.”

 

“Well, no, but I’ve heard the stories,” he replied.  “My dad told me about what he and my grandfather were doing then.”

 

The look of surprise was back.  Crap.  He ran his hand through his hair.  “Er, I guess you don’t know how old my parents are.”

 

“I can’t say it ever really came up,” she said.  “I mean, I’d heard that they were older but I didn’t…”  She trailed off, so he filled in the end of her sentence for her.

 

“Know they were that old?” he supplied.  “Dad was about to turn sixty when I was born.  Mum was forty-two.  They thought kids weren’t ever going to happen for them when I showed up.”

 

“Well that explains a lot,” Lily said.

 

He could read between the lines enough to know that he should be embarrassed.  “You mean the broom and my swollen head.”

 

Lily looked adorable when she blushed.  “I didn’t mean that.”

 

He knew that it had been exactly what she meant, but he didn’t push it.  “Anyway, Dad was at Hogwarts during the war and my grandfather was a member of the Wizengamont at the time, so they knew what was going on.  They told me that the official stance at the time was that witches and wizards weren’t supposed to get involved in a Muggle conflict, by orders of the Minister himself.”

 

“That’s horrible,” Lily said.

 

James nodded.  She needed to know that he agreed with her.  “My grandfather thought so, too.  He was very outspoken about it and the fact that we should help our neighbours, regardless of their magical status.  It caused him some issues in the Wizengamont and with other pureblood families.”

 

Lily leaned back and said nothing for a few minutes.  He was starting to wonder if she thought that he was pandering to her when she said, “The trouble maker streak in you is genetic, is it?”

 

He laughed, the relief washing over him like the heat from the fire.  “Perhaps.  But does it count as trouble making if you are doing what’s right?  Most of the things you would consider trouble making that I’ve done don’t make an impact.  Doing something like that or standing up against You-Know-Who’s followers is different.  When the fighting back comes from somebody like me or Sirius or Grandpa Henry, somebody who doesn’t have skin in the game and who is somewhat respected for their blood, we can get people to listen.”

 

He leaned closer to her, inching closer to the edge of the couch.  “If you and I were to try to talk to somebody like Mulciber, he would listen more to what I said, even if we used the same words.  You’d get called the… the M-word, but he wouldn’t have that to throw at me.”

 

Lily considered this for a moment.  “He would call you a blood traitor or a Mudblood lover.”

 

He felt the heat creeping up his neck, a heat that had nothing to do with the fire.  Was that a reference to his feelings for her?  Did she mean that Mulciber would say that he literally loved a Muggleborn or just that he wasn’t for blood purity in general?  “Being called a blood traitor is nothing though, not compared to being hexed or him using a slur against you.”

 

“You’re trying to convince me that Mulciber wouldn’t jump to hexing you?”

 

He had to give her that.  “Okay, maybe he was a bad example.  Pick a less violent, less stupid person then.  Somebody who might actually listen.”

 

“I get the thought process,” Lily said.  She tucked her feet under herself as she spoke.  James wondered if she was cold or if the thought of trying to reason with somebody who wanted to be a Death Eater was making her uncomfortable.  “It’s very noble of you to want to do that for Muggleborns.”

 

“I don’t stand up for Muggleborns to be noble,” he said.  “I do it because it’s the right thing to do.”

 

Her gorgeous green eyes locked on him and he felt his heartbeat pick up.  “Well, thank you for trying to help.  Whatever the reasons.”

 

He couldn’t hold back the grin.  They were quiet for several seconds after that, but the conversation moved on to lighter topics and James’s mood lifted.  When they went down to the grounds for Herbology, the fact that he and Lily had been able to have a long conversation without him making a fool of himself had James in good spirits.  The fact that they were able to spend more time together and have fun on Liv’s birthday that Saturday kept his spirits up, which lead to his contemplations on Tuesday evening.

 

The Marauders were alone in their dorm; their other three dorm mates were down in the common room playing Exploding Snap.  “I’ve been thinking about me and Lily a lot lately,” James said.  He was sitting on his bed, looking around the dorm at his three friends.  Sirius, Peter, and Remus were all gathered around Peter’s bed, where they had been flipping through an old book of spells.  Even though James had promised that he would help them out, he was having difficulty focusing.

 

The long silence that followed brought James’s attention to his friends, who were now exchanging looks with one another.  “Don’t be an idiot,” Sirius finally said bluntly.  “You two have been getting along well and if you do this you’re going to blow it, Prongs.”

 

That disgruntled James.  “But we’ve been getting along,” James half-said, half-whined.  “She’s more likely to agree to go out with me now than ever.”

 

“Prongs, don’t push your luck,” Remus said, without looking up from the book of spells that he had been scouring for the last ten minutes.  “If you ask her out she’ll say no.”

 

“You don’t know that,” James said.

 

“She doesn’t like you that way,” Peter piped up, while Sirius nodded furiously in agreement.

 

James thought that it was pretty sad that Peter was giving him dating advice.  Even though Peter had been on a date more recently than he had, James preferred to think of himself as being better with women than Pete.  It was true that he had never actually managed to get a date with the one girl he really wanted to and it was also true that he hadn’t been on a date in years, but he at least had the knowledge that several girls had liked him at some point in time.  “How long do you think I should wait to ask her out then?  Another month?”

 

Remus sighed audibly.  James knew that it was a bad sign if Remus, one of the most patient people he knew, was sighing at him.  “We’ll tell you if we think she’d actually date you,” he said.  “Until then, don’t ruin whatever friendship you’ve managed to build with her.”

 

“Why do you think you’ll know before me?”

 

“Because you can be a cocky son of a bitch,” Sirius said bluntly.  “You overestimate yourself when it comes to her.  Plus, Moony’s closer to her than you are.”

 

He knew that it was true, since Lily and Remus had always co-existed peacefully and grown closer ever since they had been named the two Gryffindor Prefects for their year, but the way Sirius said it still bothered James.  He wanted to be the one who knew Lily best and who she wanted to talk to most and who she was most comfortable around.  He had suspected that Remus had had a crush on Lily when they were younger and even though knew that Remus would never ask her out, since it would risk at least two of his friendships, he didn’t want him and Lily getting too close.  He would be pissed off if Remus asked her to date him from out of the blue, but if Lily developed a crush on Remus…  Well, he didn’t like to think about it.

 

After James’s long silence, which Sirius must have suspected was caused by his comment, Sirius called James over.  “I think we might have found something Prongs, so get your ass over here.”

 

James obediently got up and made his way to Peter’s bed and peered down over Sirius’s shoulder.  They had been looking for spells to put the finishing touches on the Marauder’s Map.  After years of work, it looked like they were about to finish it.  They had had the basic parts of it, such as the castle’s floor plans, the secret rooms, and the secret passages, done since the end of the previous year.  Peter had sketched in the grounds, which had been the last missing piece, weeks ago.  They had also come up with a password and a vanishing code that they thought nobody else could crack, as well as a brilliant spell that would insult anybody who tried to read it without the password.  And now, after months of searching, it looked like they had finally discovered a series of spells that would show them the people in the castle.

 

“Do you think we’ll have to label every single person first, or do you think this will just add people as it needs to for us?” James asked.

 

“I _think_ it will make the dots as it needs them,” Sirius guessed, “but who knows.  If it needed us to put the dots for everybody and to label them, there would be a mess near the edge of it when it came to holidays.”

 

“True,” James agreed.  “Who gets the honours of trying it out then?”

 

“I think that the person who found it should have the honour of casting it,” Peter said.

 

James could only assume that they all wanted to be the one who finished off the map after all these years as much as he did, so he agreed.  “That sounds fair,” he agreed.  Even though he clearly was not going to be the one who got to use the spell that would, with a bit of luck, finish of the Marauder’s Map, this seemed like the fairest possible way to decide.

 

“I agree,” Remus agreed, with a smile that let James know that he had been the one who had found the last spell.

 

Sirius grumbled a bit, but James could tell that he really didn’t mind.  Remus double checked the spell and then tapped the map while saying the incantation.  It instantly became clear that it had worked, as dozens and dozens of dots that had suddenly appeared in the rooms on the ground floor, the section of the map that was open.  As soon as the dots appeared, all four of the boys leaned forward and crowded over the map.

 

The first dot that James looked at was making its way out of the Great Hall and had a tiny label that read, ‘Daisy Hookum’.  The image of a fourth year girl, the younger sister of one of the Hufflepuffs in their year, came into his head and a grin spread across his face.  “It works,” he whispered, almost in awe.  “The Map _works_!”

 

“Wow,” Peter breathed, following one of the dots with his finger as it moved up a staircase and out of sight.

 

“Looks like McDonald’s pacing in the staff room,” Sirius said gleefully.  He seemed transfixed by the dot of the Astronomy professor from the way he was staring at it, which made James smirk.  He was clearly not the only one who was in awe of their map.

 

“This should make pranking way easier,” James said, still grinning.  “Between this and the invisibility cloak, the castle won’t know what hit it.”

 

The others nodded in agreement.  “Do you think we should test it out?” Sirius asked, looking around at his friends.

 

“Absolutely,” Remus said.  “I can’t believe you even had to ask.  The real question is, what is the first prank we should pull off with the help of the Marauder’s Map?”

 

Naturally, the four boys spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out what prank would be most deserving as having the recognition of being the first prank pulled off with the assistance of the Marauder’s Map, even though they would be the only four who knew of its significance.  There were plenty of options to choose from, including several that were created on the spot and were as full of issues as could be expected.  However, there had also been several other pranks that they had wanted to pull off over the years, but had never been able to.  The reasons for this varied, but it often boiled down to one of two things.  The first common problem was that they just didn’t have the magical skills or knowledge that would be necessary to pull of some of the more complicated pranks.  The second problem that showed up on a semi-regular basis was that there were some pranks that would get them in too much trouble if they were discovered.  Even though they pretended not to care about a detention here or there or losing a handful of house points, even they had their limit of what was acceptable, albeit a very different one than, say, their professors or Lily Evans.

 

They had still not decided what prank they should do when another one of their problems made them stop planning for the night: their other three dorm mates.  Instead of continuing their discussion, the boys quickly changed the topic to the Transfiguration essay they had been assigned that morning while Remus quietly wiped the map and placed it carefully on the bedside table.

 

The Marauders waited ten minutes before they left the dormitory and made their way downstairs, which they thought was an appropriate amount of time to make it look like they weren’t trying to escape from the other three boys without having to put their discussion on hold.  They left with James’s invisibility cloak and the Marauder’s Map stuffed into James’s bag, which he had slung over his shoulder as casually as possible.

 

When the boys arrived in the common room, they huddled around a table in the corner, which they had sent a group of second years away from.  There, they continued their discussion of what they should do with the map on its first night of existence.  There were so many options, from pranking the Slytherins to sneaking off to Hogsmeade to simply using it, along with the invisibility cloak, to find people to eavesdrop on.  Their options were nearly endless, and James wanted to explore them all.

 

James snapped out of his thoughts when Remus asked, “Do you have parchment in your bag?”

 

After a bit of shuffling, James pulled out a scrap of parchment with a wrinkled edge and placed it on the table near Remus.  He felt around for the smooth ink bottle he knew was in there somewhere and a quill, which had somehow gotten mixed up in the folds of the Marauder’s Map.  “There,” he said when he finally got them out.  “Why?”

 

Remus grinned.  “We need to come up with a list of things we have to do before the holidays, so we don’t forget anything.”

 

“Great idea Moony,” Peter said.

 

The boys whispered, hunched around a table that was built for no more than two.  “Well, somebody needs to go to Hogsmeade and bring back some Firewhisky.”

 

“I can do that, no problem,” Sirius said.  Now that he was of age in the wizarding world, he would be able to buy it without issues, unlike the rest of them.

 

“We can buy what we need from Zonko’s for any prank we can think of,” Peter said.  He looked thrilled at the thought.

 

“We can avoid Filch and his bloody cat when we’re out past curfew,” Sirius said.

 

Even with the cloak, they had run into Filch and other patrollers enough that they’d had to stop and be as silent as possible while waiting for them to pass.  James was so thankful for the invisibility cloak, but it wouldn’t prevent you from getting caught if you ran into somebody and accidentally made noise.  The Map could change that.

 

They added to their list, with items of varying practicality.  James knew that they were grinning like a bunch of goofy idiots, but he didn’t care.  After more than two years of work, they had finally made a working map. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I would like to give credit to SunshineDaisies (aka Katie) for the idea of having Dorcas Meadowes be a journalist.  I read it in her story “In Fields of Poppies” – which I highly recommend if you have not already read it – and she has me sold on the idea.

 

**Chapter Fifteen – The War to Come**

 

Lily had always been a fan of Christmas.  While she was growing up, her mum had really gone all-out to make sure that she and Petunia had a magical experience.  Even though Lily knew that her parents didn’t have a lot of money, Father Christmas always brought them three presents and a stocking full of sweets and miniature toys.  His presents were always wrapped differently than the ones her parents gave her.

 

The presents hadn’t been what she loved most of all, though.  On the first weekend in December, her father would always put up a huge Christmas tree in their sitting room and they would decorate it as a family.  Her father would get tangled in the lights, her mother would remind them to be careful with the breakable ornaments, and little strands of tinsel would somehow be found all over the floor by the end of the evening.

 

At some point after school let out for the holidays, they would climb into their beat up grey car and go looking for holiday decorations around town.  On Christmas Eve, she and Petunia would be given one present that was, without fail, a new pair of pyjamas.  Usually, they would match.  Her mother would then insist that she needed a family photograph in front of the tree and that they leave out cookies for Father Christmas before going to bed.

 

That had all changed when Lily found out she was a witch.  She had discovered the truth about Father Christmas the same year she found out magic really did exist.  It was weird, in a way – she stopped believing in one sort of magic around the time she learned that an entirely different kind was not only real, but that she would soon have the skills to control it.  More importantly, that had been the year that Petunia had decided that she didn’t like matching Lily any longer.

 

Their mother had made them wear their matching pyjamas for another year and told Petunia to change her perspective quickly.  Petunia had put up a front and did her best to convince their parents that nothing had changed, but they all knew it had.

 

Lily’s first year at Hogwarts threw everything off even more.  She hadn’t been home when they would usually set up the tree, so her parents insisted on waiting until the day she got back from school for the first time.  Petunia had bitterly told her that they had to ruin their traditions because Lily just had to go off to a special school, which stung.  Even so, she hadn’t been able to keep herself from gushing about everything she was learning and what she was experiencing, which made Petunia scowl even more.

 

As the years went on, Lily went back to loving the holidays.  She grew used to the fact that Petunia was jealous of everything she was getting to experience, which she told herself repeatedly when her once friendly sister acted cold to her.  Forging close friendships at school also helped, as did the decorations of the school.  The trees in the Great Hall dwarfed the ones she had grown up with at home and there was something magical about fake snow falling with candles everywhere.  The fact that the school got more snow, being further north than her home, certainly didn’t hurt either.

 

That year, the snow started in the middle of the week in early December.  She had gotten up early, prepared to rush through getting ready to go down for breakfast before class, when she first saw the huge, fluffy snowflakes falling outside her window in Gryffindor Tower.

 

Lily pulled back the curtains on the four poster bed beside her.  “Aurora, wake up,” she said.  In response, Aurora put her face down in the pillow.  “Come _on_.  Look out the window.”

 

Aurora opened one eye.  “Why?”

 

“It’s snowing.”

 

Aurora shoved off the covers, but didn’t stand up.  Instead, she leaned over to peer out the window.  “I can see that.  And it will probably be snowing for a while longer.”

 

Lily had to give her best friend that much.  “That may be true, but we still have Defense Against the Dark Arts soon and I would like to have time to actually sit down and eat my breakfast today.”

 

When class started, Lily was glad she had filled up at breakfast.  They were starting work on non-verbal spells, which was much easier in theory than in execution.  Professor Montgomery had instructed them to disarm their partner using _expelliarmus_.  They had learned the spell in second year under Professor Lynch, who had not returned after she had a baby that summer.  Lily knew how to do the spell well and had used it in practice a few times when she caught students duelling in the corridors.

 

To her left, Lily heard Claire whisper, “Do we really want those guys to learn how to do non-verbal spells?”

 

She followed her friend’s gaze to Mulciber, Avery, and their friends.  For once, they all seemed to be on task and intent at learning the skill at hand.  Wilkes caught her eye and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards, sending a chill down Lily’s spine.  Turning back to Claire, she said, “I really don’t think we do.”

 

She was unable to shake the feeling that this new skill was going to be used against unsuspecting students in the future.  It was hard enough to prove the bullying and who started hexing whom as it was, since it would quickly become a he-said, she-said situation in uncrowded hallways.  When people could potentially be hexing others without uttering a word, it would be even harder.

 

While patrolling with Remus for the final time before the holiday break after they found two students shooting spells at one another.  One girl claimed that she had been called a Mudblood and was only trying to defend herself, while the other claimed that the first girl had called her brother a wannabe Death Eater.  After the two girls had been given detentions and walked off in the directions of their respective common rooms, Lily brought up some of her fears up to Remus.

 

“What if her brother is a wannabe Death Eater?” she asked

 

Remus looked uncomfortable at the question.  “I don’t know,” he said after a long pause.  “I don’t know if there’s anything we can do about it.  It’s not like we could walk up to somebody and tell them that their views about Muggleborns, purebloods who do not marry other purebloods, and the like are wrong.  Well, I suppose we could but it wouldn’t get us anywhere.”

 

Lily hated knowing that he was right.  She hadn’t even been able to change Severus’s mind about the people he hung out with.  Even after six years of friendship, he had still called her a Mudblood.  It was a word she had only been able to explain to her parents as a racial slur when they asked why he wasn’t coming around the previous summer and, only after saying it out loud like that, had she realized that maybe she never really knew Severus or his thought process at all.  If she couldn’t truly know somebody after that long and not convince them that their feelings on Muggleborns were wrong by being such a dedicated friend, what hope did she have when talking to somebody like Mulciber or Sirius’s brother?

 

“I wish we could change it,” she said bitterly.

 

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets.  “It would be nice,” he agreed.  Lily wondered if he was also thinking about how much easier his life would be if people changed their opinions about werewolves inferiority.  “It won’t be easy to eliminate such a huge, ingrained prejudice.  Especially if the Ministry doesn’t seem to have a plan about how to tackle the issue.”

 

She knew what he was talking about.  While the Ministry of Magic had declared He Who Must Not Be Named to be the number one criminal in wizarding Britain a couple of years ago, they seemed to have no idea on how to actually go about catching him.  The Minister herself talked about doling out harsh punishments to those found guilty of participating in You-Know-Who’s crimes, but there had only been one Death Eater found guilty since school had started up again.  Even when people went missing or were found dead, the Auror office never spoke about what they were doing about it.

 

It seemed like most of the information they got was from the Daily Prophet, which had a section every morning dedicated to people who had been reported missing or found dead in suspicious circumstances.  There was never much information, but they at least would give a list of names and mention if the Dark Mark had been found around any of them.

 

The most thorough information seemed to come from a journalist named Dorcas Meadowes.  From what Lily had found out, she was a twenty-something reporter who seemed to be assigned to lots of on-the-scene coverage.  Every time Lily read one of the articles that Dorcas Meadowes wrote, she couldn’t get it out of her head.  Rather than skimming over issues, her articles would be filled with details and usually some information about the victims involved.  Ms. Meadowes did more to make the people who had vanished or been killed seem more real than anybody else seemed to care to do.

 

“Things have to change,” Lily said, more to convince herself than because she truly believed it.

 

Evidently, she hadn’t convinced Remus.  “I would like to think so, but don’t count on other people to do something well.”

 

“I’m going to become a Healer!  You were planning to do research on magical creatures!” she said, feeling herself getting worked up.  “Neither of us will be able to change any minds with those jobs.”

 

“Sirius wants to become a Muggle rights activist.  James is planning to do Auror training when we graduate, if he has the marks,” Remus said slowly.  “I’m sure they will be able to do some good.  Maybe even more than you or I, since they’re purebloods and actually have a shot at getting people to listen to them.  And who knows.  Maybe you will help change the world as a healer.  Maybe you’ll create some sort of treatment or provide comfort to bigoted families who will be surprised to learn that you don’t have magical parents.”

 

“And if I don’t?”  Her voice was so soft she wondered if he heard her.

 

It took him so long to answer that she almost repeated herself.  “Then we can find like-minded people.  Ones who have influence.  Like Dumbledore.”

 

Despite herself, Lily laughed.  “Are you saying we should just stroll up to his door and ask him if he wants to fight Death Eaters with us?  Build some sort of army to fight against the darkest wizard alive?”

 

Remus shrugged.  “He beat Grindelwald.  Maybe he wants to try round two.  You never know.”

 

“I’m glad to see you’ve thought this plan through.”

 

Remus grinned.  “I thought you knew me.”

 

 

____________________________

 

 

Julius Avery was glad when the winter holidays came.  He’d been forced to spend the past several weeks in school, pretending that everything was normal.  He kept up his grades, went to cheer on Slytherin in their first Quidditch match of the season (a disappointing loss to Hufflepuff), and spending time with his friends.  In reality, he had been rather preoccupied ever since the Hogsmeade trip.

 

He had slipped away from his friends to meet up with Bellatrix Lestrange in the Three Broomsticks.  By the time he had arrived she was already sitting at a table on the very edge of the room, her long dark hair flowing over one of her shoulders and her hands clasped around a steaming mug.

 

“Sit,” she had told him, not bothering with greetings, and he had done as he was bid.

 

She had asked who he had talked to.  He had explained to her that he had four other Slytherin boys in his year and two of the girls.  He had been less confident when explaining who he had talked to from the other years, since the numbers were far lower.  If she was displeased, she didn’t say anything.  Instead she wrote down a list of surnames in minute writing in a tiny notebook she had fished out of her handbag.  When the list was complete, it was tossed back in as quickly as it had been pulled out.

 

She had finished her beverage in a few gulps, placing the now-empty mug down on the table with a clang.  “We will do some research,” she said.  He assumed she was referring to the names she had written down, but he wasn’t entirely sure.  “You are to keep talking to others in fifth, sixth, and seventh year.”

 

As she pushed back her chair, he had asked, “And tell them what?”

 

Bellatrix had glared down at him.  Clearly, she hadn’t liked his question.  “What you have been saying so far.  You may get more information when you return home for the holidays.”

 

With that, she had swept out of The Three Broomsticks without saying farewell, leaving him alone with a nearly full butterbeer.  He wanted to get out of the noise and away from the excited third years near him who would not stop giggling at Merlin knew what.  He had done his best to get out of there quickly so he could find his friends again.

 

They had asked what he had been off doing, but he had only given them vague answers.  He didn’t want to say anything he wasn’t supposed to.  He did not know very much about what his father did or what the Dark Lord’s plans for him were, but he did know that the Dark Lord was not somebody you wanted to disappoint.

 

The weeks from the first Hogsmeade trip to the train ride home seemed to go both too quickly and too slowly at the same time.  Julius had done his best to talk to students from the year above and the year below him, but he didn’t know if it would be enough.  Talking to somebody to see where they stood on the Dark Lord’s ideology was hardly something you could slip into casual conversation.  Even when it came up, there was no way to know if people answered truthfully.

 

Julius was unsure of how much he was really learning about people.  If he had struggled to get a grasp on the thoughts of Severus Snape, a boy he had spent more than five years living with, how was he supposed to get to know the others?  Evan Rosier had been able to tell him a bit about his Quidditch team mates (Lennox Rookwood and Regulus Black in fifth year, Charles Burke and Zebulon Pronger in seventh year), which had helped a bit, but there were so many students to get through in Slytherin alone, never mind any reasonably minded people in the three other houses.

 

When the Hogwarts Express arrive in King’s Cross Station, he collected his trunk and went to find his mother in their usual meeting place.  She greeted him warmly, with a kiss on each cheek, his younger brother near her side.  They waited for before his sister, who was in her second year, in near silence.  When she finally arrived, their mother greeted her with the same kiss on each cheek before guiding them through the crowd so they could go home.

 

A steaming dinner, prepared by the family house elf, was waiting on the table when he got home.  Julius immediately noticed that there were only four place settings at the table.  That meant that his father was out on some sort of business and would not be home for hours, if he came home at all that night.  There had been several occasions over the past few years that his father had never come home at all.  It was an unspoken family rule that they did not discuss his father’s comings and goings.

 

At first, when he had been younger, Julius had worried that his father was having an affair.  He had never voiced the concerns out of fear of the answer, but as he grew older his understanding changed.  Now he was nearly an adult, well versed in the events of the world, and he was pretty sure he knew what kept his father out at night.  Yet, despite his confidence that he was right, it remained an undiscussed topic.

 

As Julius expected, his father had not come home before he went to bed.  When Julius woke up in the morning, his mother said that he had left early but that he would be back for dinner to talk about something important.

 

His mother’s comments kept him preoccupied all day.  He was certain that, upon his father’s homecoming, they were going to discuss what he had learned about his school mates over the past few months.  Perhaps he would even figure out what the purpose of his mission had been, although he wasn’t counting on it.  For all he knew, the sole purpose of it could have been that the Dark Lord was trying to find new recruits and thought that Hogwarts was a good place to look.  Julius thought there would be more to it, but who was he to question the Dark Lord?

 

His father, Cassius Avery, arrived just before dinner.  Over the meal they discussed the past semester without ever touching on the fact that Julius had been doing work for the Dark Lord.  His younger siblings would never know that there was anything important to be discussed later.  Julius wasn’t even sure how much his mother knew of the matter, because she was perfectly composed and showed no hint that she had any idea of what was going to happen.

 

When the dishes were cleared by the house elf, Julius followed his father into the study.  It was a luxurious room, filled with mahogany furniture and an oversized black leather couch.  Yet his father walked past the couch to sit behind his desk, which Julian took as a sign that he should sit on one of the hard chairs opposite his father.

 

“Do you have anything new you would like to report?  Anything since you talked to Bellatrix Lestrange?”

 

Julius was a bit disappointed that this was it, but he kept his composure as he shared his newest findings with his father.  Across the desk, his father sat straight backed, listening intently.  Julius could feel his father’s icy blue eyes examining him.

 

“The information you gave two months ago has been helpful.  I know the Dark Lord has appreciated having a different perspective on the young witches and wizards of good birth.”

 

Julius nodded and suppressed a smile.  He knew that his father was one of the Dark Lord’s most trusted confidants.  He knew that they had been friends together at Hogwarts and that his father had been one of the first people to join the ranks of the Death Eaters.  It was something that filled him with pride.

 

His father continued, “You have offered some… unique information on the behaviour of some of the children belonging to some of the pureblood families that have shown support for the cause.  The Dark Lord would like to thank you for this.”

 

Julius could feel his eyes widen.  As far as he knew, the Dark Lord didn’t thank people, he merely commanded them.  “What exactly will this reward entail?”

 

His father smiled. “You will be coming with me next week, Julius.  I have something scheduled for Tuesday or Wednesday.  I would do it tomorrow, but I have work obligations I cannot miss.  You will get to see what your new lifestyle will entail.”

 

As much as he wanted to ask for clarification, his father’s tone made it clear that the conversation had ended for the night.  After thanking him, Julius left the study and made his way to his bedroom, thinking about what was going to happen.

 

Thankfully, he did not have to wait long.  His father was able to leave work early on Tuesday and, around four o’clock, opened the door to Julius’s bedroom.

 

“Get up,” he said.  “We have somewhere we need to be.”  After looking him up and down, his father added, “Put on plain black robes and clean trainers.  Get the elf to clean them if need be.”

 

He found a pair of clean shoes and clean robes in his closet.  A few minutes later, he joined his father at the foot of the stairs, dressed as he had been commanded to.  “I’m ready Father,” he said unnecessarily as he stepped onto the landing.  “What now?”

 

“You will side-along apparate with me to our location,” his father said.  “Come.”

 

They left their property, father walking slightly ahead of son.  Once they were far enough to have cleared the protective spells that surrounded their house, his father offered his arm.  Julius gripped tightly and, moments later, they were spinning.

 

Almost as quickly as it started, the spinning stopped and he was able to breathe again with ease.  He found himself in the dark and his eyes blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the lack of light.  He looked at his father, who was unfazed, before examining his surroundings.

 

The room was similar to every other dining area he had ever seen, but different at the same time.  It was significantly smaller than the one in his house, with a table that could only sit six.  The table was not set and the china cabinet was full of Muggle knickknacks.  He didn’t even recognize what some of the things were, but apparently they were important to whoever lived here.  Through an archway, he could see a Muggle kitchen with appliances in a colour that he could only describe as a sort of harvest gold.

 

He turned to his father.  “This is a Muggle house,” he said.

 

Cassius nodded.  “Very good.”  He sounded pleased that Julius had been able to deduce this, which made the younger Avery relax slightly.  “But, unfortunately, not quite right.  This is the house of a squib.”

 

Julius looked around, as though he would suddenly see something that revealed the secret family history of the person who lived here.  Yet, even when looking with fresh eyes, he didn’t see anything that he had not noticed the first time.  “Why are we in a squib’s house?”

 

“This is a squib by the name of Nathaniel Travers.”

 

Suddenly, it all made sense.  The Travers family was an old one, filled with people of good birth who married well.  To a family like them, a squib was a disgrace, one that was to be hidden and cut from the family like you would cut contact with a blood-traitor.  It would have been terribly embarrassing if he had been related to somebody who turned out to be a squib.  He knew his father would have disowned them as well.  As for Nathaniel Travers, Julius knew that his father had an acquaintance from school named Gregor Travers.  The surname couldn’t be a coincidence.

 

“What are we supposed to do?” Julius asked.

 

“Since you have helped the Dark Lord, you will get to help remove this stain from the name of a noble house.”  His father’s voice was steady and, as he stared down at Julius, the younger Avery couldn’t help but feel like his father’s icy eyes were trying to figure out what he was thinking.

 

“You want me to kill him?” Julius asked.

 

“What I want or do not want is irrelevant.  The only thing that matters is what the Dark Lord wants,” Cassius said sternly.  “If you want to prove your worth and that you should be treated like an adult, you will need to show that you are willing to help the cause.”

 

Julius nodded.  “So, am I just supposed to kill him when he comes home?”

 

“Yes.”  The answer was firm.  “He usually arrives home within the next fifteen minutes, so we will be here waiting for him when he arrives.  Don’t worry, he lives alone.  You will have no distractions.  Be grateful that the Dark Lord has selected such an easy target for your first time.”

 

After that, the two Avery men stood in silence, waiting.  As his father had promised, it was no more than twenty minutes before they heard the turn of a key in a lock and a deadbolt.  Julius looked up to his father, who pressed a finger to his lips as they heard the squib kick off his shoes and relock his front door.  A few moments later, there were footfalls moving in their direction.  As a light turned on in the kitchen, Cassius motioned for his son to follow.

 

Julius slid into the kitchen after his father, wand drawn.  The squib looked up from where he was standing at the kitchen counter, opening brown envelopes.  He looked from Julius to his father and back again, eyes occasionally drifting down to the extended wands.  When he spoke, his voice was surprisingly calm.  “Who sent you?” he asked.  “I suppose it would be my brother, wouldn’t it?”  When he did not get a reply, he asked, “How is Gregor these days?”

 

“Silent, squib,” Cassius snarled.  He then looked down at his son.  “Do it.”

 

Julius felt the squib’s eyes on him.  “They sent you to kill me, did they?” he sounded sad, but unsurprised.  “I guess I’m an easy target.  My brother must figure what is one old man who can’t do magic?  How can I fight back?”

 

“Now,” his father hissed again.

 

In one fluid motion, Nathaniel Travers reached across the counter to a wooden block and pulled out a long, sharp kitchen knife.  As he was straightening up again, Julius raised his wand higher.  “Avada Kedavra,” he said, summoning all the force he could muster.

 

The man fell immediately, hitting the floor before the knife even slipped from his grasp.  His body fell to the floor with an extremely loud thud and blood began to pool underneath his head.  It was a grotesque sight, but Julius found himself unable to look away.  Only when he felt his father’s hand on his shoulder did he pull his eyes away from the corpse.

 

“Well done, son,” Cassius said quietly.  “The Dark Lord will be most pleased with you.  I told him that you were a good, helpful boy and I am glad you have not let me down.  Now come.  We must leave as soon as I set the Mark over the house.”

 

His father cast the spell and extended his arm.  “Come, Julius.  I will buy you a drink.”

 

A moment later, Julius felt the air being pushed out of his lungs as they apparated away.


	17. New Year, New Class

Chapter Sixteen – New Year, New Class

The holidays were exhausting for Lily. Petunia had brought home her boyfriend of two years, a fat Muggle man by the name of Vernon Dursley. He worked at a drill company and liked to talk about little else, although he did seem mildly interested in Petunia’s gossip. However, all of the questions he asked Lily required answers that were nothing more than fiction. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she had been able to make them up herself, but she had been required to go along with whatever Petunia told him. Some of these things were the same stories her parents had made up when she first got her letter, but others were total fabrications that had Petunia’s fingerprints all over them.

One evening, after her parents had gone to watch television, Lily had been blindsided when Vernon had said it was too bad that she didn’t have any friends at her school.

“Excuse me?” she had asked, speaking to Vernon but looking directly at Petunia.

Her sister hadn’t even had the decency to look ashamed. “Well, Lily did have one friend. An unattractive, greasy haired boy who looked like he hadn’t bought clothing this decade. But he didn’t want to be Lily’s friend anymore.”

She had stood, mouth agape, for several seconds while she tried to come up with a retort. She had known that Petunia had been glad when Severus had stopped coming around. She had made no secret of the fact that she disliked that “horrid boy”. Lily knew that part of it had been Severus’s appearance, since Petunia cared so much about how things looked, but she knew the real reason for her hatred was because Severus had told them about the magical world for the first time. Petunia had never confirmed it, even when Lily had yelled the accusation at her during an argument, but she hadn’t needed to. Lily knew her sister well enough to know she was right.

To try to prove that she was not a social pariah, she had invited Aurora over the next day. Petunia’s eyes had nearly popped out of her head, which made Lily have to force back a smile. The fact that Aurora had introduced herself as Lily’s best friend, shaking hands with Vernon with a little too much pleasure, had only made Petunia angrier.

Under the guise of getting beverages for their guests, Lily had been physically dragged by her sister into the kitchen. “How could you invite someone… someone like you home when Vernon is here? He doesn’t know about your ridiculous witch friends.” She had spat the word ‘witch’ as if it was a curse. “If he thinks I’m related to a freak after this…”

The words would have once cut her deeply, but Lily had learned to steel herself against her sister. “Don’t worry about your precious Vernon’s perceptions of the world. Aurora’s father is a Muggle. Her brother is trying to make a career as a football player, for Christ’s sake.” (She had almost said Merlin, but had caught herself at the last moment. There was no need to get Petunia even more riled up.) “She went to a Muggle primary school. She knows how to deal with things like telephones and light switches without making a fool of herself.” With that she grabbed two colas out of the fridge, turned on her heel, and walked back towards the sitting room.

As Lily had promised, Aurora was a perfect houseguest. Lily figured that, with a bit of luck, he would realize that Petunia was a liar when she and Aurora had started talking about their other schoolmates. However, he wasn’t the most perceptive fellow. For one thing, Aurora had egged him on for half an hour while he was rambling on about different types of drills. She had clearly been sarcastic but it had gone over his head. Petunia, on the other hand, figured out Aurora’s true intentions rather quickly and had seethed quietly.

While Lily shuddered at the thought of having Vernon Dursley as a brother-in-law, Aurora had clearly enjoyed her time at the Evans’ house. In fact, she enjoyed it so much that she found it necessary to give Naomi, Liv, Pippa, and Claire the play by play of what had happened during her visit when they were taking the Hogwarts Express back to school after the holidays. With nowhere to go, Lily had been forced to sit and listen to the entire thing again. The only benefit to reliving the visit was the fact that Aurora put on voices while she was telling the tale.

“And then, Vernon went on for ages about the differences between the current model of drills that Grunnings is working on and some new deluxe drill with semi-automatic retractable cord and the previous version of the same model,” Aurora said. “You would be surprised to learn that it took him ten minutes to rattle off the specs of this one compared to the last one. And that’s not the best part of it. The best part is the fact that after saying all of that, he said, ‘you probably don’t understand since you don’t look like you have ever even used a drill before.’” For the last part, she put on a deeper voice and a strange sort of accent that sounded very little like Vernon’s.

While the rest of her friends laughed, Lily rolled her eyes. “And that delightful man will be my brother-in-law if Petunia gets her way,” she said with a sigh. She and Petunia had drifted apart years before and she’d had a feeling that her sister would choose somebody she perceived as safe and secure. But, even with that, she had never thought Petunia could have such horrible taste.

Thankfully, Vernon’s spiel about the Grunnings Deluxe Drill with semi-automatic retractable cord had been one of his last of the day and Aurora was soon out of Vernon stories to share. When the conversation turned to what the others had done over the holidays, she was able to try to push her sister’s ridiculous boyfriend out of her mind.

Liv, who was sitting near the window like usual, turned so her back was to the glass. “So, you know how I was going to ask my parents if I could get some sort of internship or relevant experience over the summer?” she said.

Lily nodded, a vague memory of a conversation had in Transfiguration coming to mind. “What did they say?”

Liv sighed dramatically and rolled her big blue eyes. “Apparently, they don’t know of any way to get me into the Department of Mysteries before I officially get hired.” From her tone, it was clear that not getting hired down the road was not an option in her mind. “So unless I want to work somewhere else in the Ministry, there’s nothing they can do for me. You think at least one of them would be able to pull some strings.”

Both Valencia and Tarquin Madley were Unspeakables. Other than the fact that this meant they worked for the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic, Lily had very little understanding of what that actually entailed. Even though Liv was taking her NEWT classes with the intention of following in her parents’ footsteps, Lily had a suspicion that the other girl did not have a much clearer view of what being an Unspeakable would involve than she did. In fact, when they had asked her about her parents’ jobs in years past the only thing she had told them for certain was that her father had helped to train her mother when Valencia first became an Unspeakable.

“Well, if they don’t do internships for the Department of Mysteries I guess there’s nothing they can do,” Pippa said softly. Having grown up in the same neighbourhood as Liv, she knew the Madleys better than the others.

“It probably wouldn’t be the Department of Mysteries if they let too many people figure out the mysteries,” Aurora joked.

While they all laughed, Lily could tell that Liv’s was a bit forced. To try to diffuse the tension between Aurora and Liv, she said, “Nepotism may help after we graduate.”

“Are you sure that a government organization should hire based on who you know?” Naomi asked.

Liv laughed. “Are you kidding? Half the higher ups in the Ministry were only hired in the first place because of nepotism. Who you know is almost as important as what you know, especially in some departments.”

“Well, hopefully the people who work in apparation regulation are fully qualified for what they do. I don’t want to be dealing with an instructor that is incompetent and end up splinched as a result of their terrible teaching skills,” Pippa joked.

“When do apparation classes start anyway?” Claire asked. “It must be soon, since I know a couple of my siblings were able to do their apparation test before they even finished sixth year. Surely they want to give us enough time to practice before they even have that as an option.

Five heads turned to face her then and Lily had to fight back the urge to laugh. Since she was the only prefect in the group, her friends seemed to think that she should know the dates of anything and everything that the school was organizing. In reality, she often found things out around the same time that they did but given that she paid more attention than many of her friends, she was still made her a better person to ask than most of them.

Lily thought back to the final Prefect meeting before the holidays, when she knew the date for the first apparation class had been mentioned in passing. “It’s sometime in the next few weeks,” she told her friends. “Either the week before or the week after the second Hogsmeade trip, but I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head.”

That got them off on the topic of classes on Saturday. The general consensus was that it was not as bad as it could be, since they couldn’t very well give them apparation homework in a castle that had anti-apparation charms cast on every square inch of it. Aurora was a bit concerned that it might interfere with Quidditch practices and Pippa said she hoped that it would not interfere with the Magical Creatures club she was a part of, which she claimed helped her with Care of Magical Creatures class.

They didn’t have to wait long to find out when their first apparation lessons would be. When they got back to the Gryffindor Common Room that evening, the three girls saw a huge piece of bright green poster board posted on the bulletin board. In loopy letters, the notice announced that sixth year students and seventh year students who had not yet gotten their apparation licences were invited to the Great Hall at two o’clock in the afternoon on Saturday January 22nd. In much smaller block letters at the very bottom of the flyer, there was a disclaimer that apparating could not be practiced in the castle outside of this meeting times and that students would not be able to apply for their licencing tests until after their seventeenth birthdays.

“That will be really close for you, Lily,” Claire said, pointing to the fine print. “You and Naomi will only have to wait a week until you’re seventeen.”

She and Naomi had birthdays on back to back days at the end of January, which had resulted in five joint birthday parties for them so far. If she was a betting woman, Lily would have been willing to place money that there would be another double birthday celebration for them this year.

“Well, even though they have their birthdays then they aren’t going to be able to take the test right away,” Aurora pointed out. “It can take ages before people are able to apparate properly.”

“That’s true,” Claire conceded. “It took Gil two tries to pass his test last year. But at least you two will be able to actually take the test soon. School will be nearly out before I’m seventeen, so it will be exam time.”

“Nah, Aurora’s only four. She’ll have to wait another…” she paused, doing some quick mental math, “fifty-one years until she’s seventeen.”

Lily and Claire laughed, while Aurora rolled her eyes. “Just because I was born on February 29th doesn’t mean that I can’t celebrate my birthday if it isn’t a leap year!”

“Well, it certainly doesn’t stop you from you trying to get us to celebrate on February 28th and March 1st every year,” Lily said, raising an eyebrow.

“Not last year,” Aurora argued.

“Because there was actually a February 29th last year!” Claire pointed out.

“Well, when you only have a proper birthday every four years, you really have to make the most of it,” Aurora said. “It’s not my fault I was born on a day that doesn’t exist every year.”

They were still discussing Aurora’s birthday when other sixth years showed up. The other three girls in their year walked up to them. Saphira Young raised a hand in greeting and asked, “Good holiday?”

“Yes,” Claire said, giving a warm smile. “How about you guys?”

“Well, Saphira and I did,” Roxanne Dippet said. She looked at Calypso Jones, the shortest of the three other girls. Calypso gave a slight nod, as though answering an unanswered question. It was only then that Roxanne added, “Callie’s family had a bit of a rough go.”

Lily’s stomach clenched. Nowadays, whenever she heard that something bad had happened her mind would jump to dark magic. It was a bit unnecessary, since there were more than enough things that could be considered bad news that would have nothing to do with his followers. But, when you were so closely affected by what was going on, like it or not, it was hard to keep your mind from going there. “What happened?” Lily asked. She tried to keep her voice soft and considerate, but she could hear her anxiety creeping into her words.

Saphira placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Calypso, hand shoved in the pockets of her robes, said, “One of my cousins got engaged a few weeks ago. A couple days after Christmas he was walking through London and got severely hexed. He’s been in St. Mungo’s ever since.”

“That’s awful,” Claire said, looking at the other girl sympathetically. “How is he doing?”

“He’s being kept in some kind of coma,” Calypso said, voice wavering. “All because he’s marrying a Muggle.”

The story was horrible to begin with, but the last comment made Lily feel sick. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, unsure of what else to say. What could she say other than that? It wasn’t her fault that some people felt like they were better than everybody else because of their magical blood. But, even though nothing nearly that serious had happened to her or her friends, Lily felt a great deal of empathy to Calypso and her family.

Calypso was biting her lip and avoiding eye contact while her friends looked at her with concerned expressions. Roxanne, apparently deciding that changing the subject would help, turned towards Lily and her friends and asked, “So, are you guys going to take the apparation classes this year?”

The classes were one of the major topics of conversation in the days that followed. The excitement of the new lessons and planning for the second Hogsmeade trip of the year (butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, then shopping at a local boutique) even helped to distract her from Severus Snape’s birthday. She felt strange on the morning of the ninth, sitting with her friends and avoiding looking towards the Slytherin table, but it wasn’t as bad as she had been expecting. At the very least, she was able to avoid seeing him because it was a weekend.

The day passed without issue, which was a relief. The next week sped towards the Hogsmeade visit, flying by thanks to a research assignment for Professor Kettleburn leading up to their class on Friday afternoon.

She had a blast at Hogsmeade, despite the blowing snow that made for a chilly walk to the village. The six girls were able to warm up with Butterbeer, laughing as they watched James Potter and Sirius Black making fools of themselves in front of one of the young female bartenders.

Lily and her friends did the best to avoid Severus and his group of horrible Slytherin friends, who appeared to be celebrating her former friend’s birthday. Well, they avoided them for the most part. Liv flipped them off as they were walking out of the bar, getting giggles out of the rest of them, but she did it behind Naomi’s back so the boys couldn’t see what they were doing. The Slytherins did look up when they heard the giggles, but Lily looked away immediately and tried not to laugh at the expression on Pippa’s face.

While they were at the boutique, Lily bought herself a new jumper. She justified the expense to herself by saying that it was going to be her birthday present for herself, but she only made it a few days after the Hogsmeade trip before she was ripping the price tag off of it and pulling it on.

She was wearing her new jumper the morning of their first apparation lesson, only taking it off to put on her uniform-approved Gryffindor one minutes before heading down to the Great Hall with the rest of the Gryffindor sixth years.

Naturally, Sirius was talking loudly over everybody else while they made they walk from Gryffindor Tower down to the ground floor. “I can’t wait until we can apparate. Do you know how much freedom we’re going to have? We could literally go anywhere.”

Lily fought back a giggle as James rolled his eyes behind his best mate’s back. “We can’t go anywhere, P- Sirius. There are limitations.”

Sirius snorted. “I’m not a bloody idiot. It was an expression.”

Lily couldn’t resist saying, “You said you could go ‘literally’ anywhere when you know you can’t go literally anywhere?”

Peter saved Sirius from having to defend himself. “I know it will be easier when we can apparate, but it is not fun. I always feel like I’m going to suffocate.” He shuddered, shoulders shaking slightly.

Claire nodded along. “It’s a weird feeling,” she agreed. “The first time I side-along apparated with my mother, I thought my organs were being squished. And then I vomited on her shoes.”

As the others exchanged stories of apparated alongside their parents, all Lily could do was listen. Somehow, she had never actually learned much about apparation. Severus had told her what it was in basic terms before they had started school, but since nobody was able to do it without a parent or older sibling’s help, her friends had never really gotten into the specifics of it until the flyer had appeared in their common room.

Apparation had been one of the things she had been looking forward to most of all when she had first learned of it. Severus had been somewhat appalled when she had described it as teleporting from one place to the other and she’d had to sit through a rant about the differences between disapparating and apparating and how they were related. It had been boring and everything he said had been pretty obvious, but it had not put her off disappearing in one place and appearing somewhere else. But being told all about splinching in graphic detail and hearing about the sensations that came along with apparation were making her start to wonder if, like flying, this was something that was better in theory than in execution.

Whether apparation was as unpleasant as everybody was making it seem was something that she would have to wait to find out. Even after spending more than an hour trying to go into a Muggle hula-hoop placed a few feet in front of her, focusing on the destination with determination and deliberation, she had been unable to move. She supposed it would take more time to figure out if she was going to be one of the ones who vomited after her first successful apparation.


	18. Birthdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: For this chapter, I have decided to try something a little different. I felt like it was necessary to see James and Lily’s perspectives on various things around this time, but I couldn’t think of a way to get all of Lily’s thoughts in one place and all of James’s in another without having to switch perspectives again. I have flopped perspectives in a chapter a handful of times before now, from Lily to Julius Avery as well as from Lily to James, but never more than once in the same chapter.
> 
> Hopefully this will work out without being too confusing.
> 
> To everybody who has made it this far in the story (and in this author’s note!) thank you so much for investing your time in Lily, James, and the gang.

Chapter Seventeen – Birthdays

In the last week of January Lily spent most of her time doing school work, trying to get her increasing list of homework assignments under control before the weekend ahead. She worked with Pippa, Claire, and Liv in an abandoned fourth floor classroom to try to master the bird-conjuring charm, Avis, from Transfiguration on Monday night. Professor McGonagall had expressed her disappointment in the class’s performance and Lily had no desire to see that reaction from her again, which unfortunately meant that the blue light from the spell was seared into her eyes.

She spent several other nights that week in the library, doing research for her assignment on Veritaserum from Professor Slughorn. They had started working on the potion the second week back from holidays and, as it took a full lunar cycle to mature, they had been assigned some research in the meantime. The only reason she had taken a night off was because she had no say in the matter, having been assigned to patrol the seventh corridor with Remus on Wednesday night before his Astronomy lesson.

Her excessive studying took a lot out of her and by the time Care of Magical Creatures rolled around on Friday afternoon she was more than ready for the weekend to start. She had a hard time focusing on Pirate’s discussion about acromantula, which was more boring than most of their other lessons because all he had were drawings and the section of their textbook to go on. Lily was glad that she didn’t have a massive spider capable of speaking in front of her, but it did make for one of the duller Care of Magical Creature lessons she’d ever had.

When they were dismissed for the week and walking back up to the castle, her energy and enthusiasm came flooding back. All the studying and practising may have made for a boring week, but the freedom that she was going to enjoy this weekend would be worth it.

“What time are we meeting for lunch tomorrow?” Lily asked.

Pippa and Claire exchanged a look. “I don’t know if we’re supposed to tell you,” Claire said after pulling down her red and gold scarf. “It’s your birthday, too.”

“I thought we were just doing something for Naomi at lunch tomorrow and that the joint thing was going to be at night.”

“Well, with the Quidditch match on your birthday we weren’t sure how much time we were going to have then so we thought it might be easiest to do presents for both of you at lunch tomorrow,” Pippa said apologetically.

She had to fight back the urge to laugh at her friend’s concerns. “Really, it’s fine that we’re just doing one,” Lily assured them. Having lunch with her friends was nice, but frankly it wasn’t the part of her birthday that she looked forward to most each year.

“We have something special planned for cakes this year,” Pippa said, looking relieved.

That took Lily by surprise. In the past, she and Naomi had received everything from the puddings they were serving at the long house tables to Honeydukes chocolates to pumpkin pasties with candles in them as their birthday cakes. In the five years that they had been at Hogwarts she had never once received a typical birthday cake from her friends, but that was half the fun. “Let me guess, I have to wait and see what that is, too.”

“Obviously,” Claire said with a grin. “But trust me, you will be impressed.”

She did her best to get information out of her friends during the rest of the walk up to the castle, but they were tight lipped. Lily had known that Claire wasn’t going to break and blab, since she could keep a secret for years and you would never even know she was hiding something. She focused her attention on Pip, knowing that the Hufflepuff was the weaker mark, but despite the fact that Pippa had on her “I want to say something look,” Lily could not get her to break. She was sure that part of it was Pippa’s love for surprises but certainly Claire’s warning looks encouraged the brunette to keep her lips shut.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

“Remus, pick up the pace,” James snapped as they neared the bottom of the Great Hall staircase. “We only have forty-five minutes to get everything ready.”

His sandy haired friend did not look concerned about his frustration. “You try being at the top of your game six days out of the full moon when your friend wouldn’t let you sleep until two am the night before.”

James knew he was the friend in question that had kept Moony up the night before, but he didn’t feel too badly about it. Was it his fault that he hadn’t been able to sleep leading up to the day where he would he be attending Lily’s birthday lunch for the first time? He had wanted to spend time with her even when he was eleven and, unfortunately, hadn’t realized that pushing her mate’s buttons was not the best way to get on her good side. Ever since he had realized on January 30th, 1972 that that day was Lily’s birthday he had been waiting to be invited to celebrate with her. He wasn’t sure if she actually knew he was going, since it had been Aurora who had told him and the other Marauders to come, but he didn’t care.

This year was his first chance he was determined that he was not going to let things get set off on the wrong foot. And not having her birthday cake ready before the birthday girl arrived would definitely be starting on the wrong foot.

“We can get in and out of the kitchens in less than five minutes,” Peter said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He was trying to sound encouraging but even though James knew he was right, he was still nervous about messing everything up.

“Wormy’s right,” Sirius said, clapping James on the shoulder. “The house elves here actually care about serving you, unlike Kreacher, so they’ll have the cakes for us before you can even ask for butterbeer. We can bring them to Lily’s friends and get everything settled before she even knows what’s going on.”

“I just don’t want to mess this up,” James said tensely. Down the corridor, the painting of fruit that led to the kitchens came into view. “And it’s not just bringing the cakes to whichever of her friends are organizing this thing, it’s making sure that we have time to get back up to the dorms.”

Sirius rolled his eyes as Remus said, “You’ll have time to make yourself look nice for Lily, don’t worry.” He was infinitely more patient than the others and was not snapping at him, instead jesting gently.

In any other circumstances James would have been embarrassed at the suggestion that he wanted to pretty himself up before having lunch with Lily Evans, but he was so worried about messing things up that he let it roll off his back. “I just don’t want to be the only ones who show up without birthday presents because some people,” he looked around at each of his friends in turn, “didn’t know how to pick up the bloody pace to get to a party before the guests of honour.”

Peter was stepping into the kitchens behind Sirius, who had already tickled the pear. James looked over his shoulder to Remus, who shrugged before brushing past him and stepping into the kitchens. With a sigh, James followed his friends and pulled the painting shut behind him.

Four of the house elves were already standing around his friends when he had turned around. One of them had a tray on his head, where a single bottle of butterbeer was resting. James knew that the bottle would be for him. He and his friends had been to the kitchens so often that the elves had taken to bringing bottles of butterbeer for each of them as soon as they appeared, saving the boys the trouble of having to ask for them.

Sure enough, Sirius was popping the cap off his own when James walked over to join them. Remus, whose bottle was already opened, was describing what they had come for to the elves. “They should both be this big or so,” he formed a sort of lopsided, disjointed circle with his hands. “Enough to serve… I dunno, maybe ten people each?” His eyes met James’s. “Do you have any idea of how many people are showing up?” James shrugged. Remus turned back to the elves. “Okay, let’s go with cake for twenty then. One chocolate cake with white frosting. That one is supposed to say ‘Happy birthday Lily’. The other cake is supposed to be carrot cake with nuts and cream cheese frosting.” He was looking up in the air, his signature look for when he was trying to remember something. “That one is supposed to say ‘Happy birthday Naomi’.”

“We also need butterbeer,” Peter piped up. “A lot of butterbeer.”

“How many?” a house elf with huge dark brown eyes and an unusually squeaky voice asked.

“A couple cases should do it,” Sirius said. As the house elves ran off to get what they wanted, Sirius explained, “I figure that way two of us can carry the cakes and two of us can haul the cases of butterbeer up to the second floor.”

It took a bit longer than Peter had promised, but the Marauders were leaving the kitchens less than ten minutes later. James had insisted on carrying Lily’s cake himself, as though he would be able to prevent anything bad from happening to it by physically protecting it. Sirius, with his strong beater’s build, had a case of butterbeer in front of him as though it weighed nothing. Moony had been given the other case, while Peter had been placed in charge of Naomi’s cake.

Even though he had not been expecting anything bad to happen to them per se, James was still relieved when they walked into the abandoned classroom in the far corner of the school that they had been told would be the location of the lunch without incident.

Liv Madley had greeted them by the door, looking over the things they had brought with critical eyes as they filed past her. She seemed to be content, because after Peter had brought up the rear she seemed to relax. “Bring the cakes to Claire,” Liv instructed. “The butterbeer will go on a table here.” Sirius moved to place the case on the lavender table cloth when Liv added, “Out of the cases, please.”

James left Sirius and Remus to place the butterbeer and walked over to Claire. The French girl offered him a much warmer greeting than Liv. “Thanks for getting these,” she said with a big smile. “How did you get them anyway?”

“A Marauder never reveals his secrets,” James said. He tried to keep a straight face, but broke out into a grin after a few seconds. “It was just the school house elves, nothing special. They are always happy to serve and, uh, we’ve become friendly with some of them over the years so we could get them to personalize the cakes.”

“I didn’t picture you four as the type to make friends with house elves,” Claire replied.

“It’s not really hard,” Peter replied. “They’ll make friends with just about anybody if you treat them decently.”

Claire laughed. “I know. Remy, my family’s elf, has jumped to take care of anybody who comes in for a visit. Even my sister’s Muggle husband, who nearly wet himself when Remy popped up right in front of him within minutes of him setting foot in the house for the first time, gets on with him now.”

Peter giggled. “Didn’t your sister let him know about house elves before he went to your house?”

“She did, but I don’t think Joe was expecting house elves to look like they do.”

James couldn’t remember a time he didn’t know what house elves looked like, but it didn’t take much to understand why somebody meeting one for the first time would be surprised. When tennis ball eyes were looking up at you and a squeaky voice was asking you questions left and right, it could get overwhelming even when you knew what to expect.

He excused himself from Claire and Peter, who were crouched down to put the cakes inside a cupboard at the side of the room. As fun as it was talking about things Muggles found weird, he needed to hurry if he was going to get the girls’ presents out of the dorm before they arrived.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

For one of the first times in their lives, Lily was still getting ready while Aurora was raring to go. “You look great Lils,” the blonde said.

Lily could see her reflection in the mirror she was using to apply her makeup. While she had been trying to focus on blending her eyeshadow, she kept getting distracted by the sight of Aurora in her peripheral vision. She was sitting cross legged at the edge of Lily’s bed, fingers tapping against her knee.

“I thought you said we didn’t need to go anywhere until twelve thirty. It’s only,” she paused to look down at her watch, “ten after twelve. We have plenty of time, especially if you won’t let me go into whichever classroom you’ve found this year until Naomi arrives.”

“I don’t want to make everybody wait,” Aurora said.

Lily snorted. Aurora was good about being on time for Quidditch practices and classes simply because she had to be, but when it came to casual things she had never been concerned about being a few minutes late. “You’re acting weird,” Lily said, looking at Aurora in the mirror. “You’ve never been concerned about birthday parties starting on time before. What’s going on?”

“I am not acting weird,” Aurora said thoroughly unconvincingly.

“You are,” Lily insisted. “What’s different about this year?”

She could tell that her best friend was debating lying, but when she let out an over the top sigh, Lily knew she had decided not to bother. “We may have invited more than just the six of us this year,” she said. Lily’s eyebrows shot up and Aurora must have seen it in the reflection, because she added, “Don’t give me that look. And before you ask, no I won’t tell you who else is coming. If you want to know you’re going to have to hurry up.”

Lily was pretty sure she knew who some of the extras were going to be without even asking. Gary Malkin was going to be there because he wanted to spend all weekend with Claire, she was nearly positive of that. Ezra Diggory, the guy Naomi had gone to Hogsmeade with a couple weeks before and who she had been snogging ever since would probably be there as well. She was certain that James, Peter, Remus, and Sirius would be there too, now that they were spending more time together and getting along better than she would have thought possible a year ago. There was also a chance that some of their other dorm mates would be there as well or some of the others from Naomi and Pippa’s.

She finished up her makeup a couple minutes later. While she was rifling through her trunk for something to wear, Aurora looked down on her from her spot on the bed. “Eager to see who is showing up, I see.”

“Yeah, but I was almost done anyway.”

“Sure you were,” Aurora said, her tone making it clear that she didn’t believe Lily’s claim.

“So, did you invite everybody to this that we were supposed to meet up with tonight?” Lily asked as she pulled off her rumpled school shirt to put on something nicer.

“I told you I wasn’t going to answer questions about who was going to be there,” Aurora said, doing her best to sound stern.

“I’m not asking who, I’m asking how many,” Lily argued.

“Fine, less than we invited tonight. This is a more exclusive group.”

Lily pulled her long red hair out from under her shirt and laughed. “You realize you sound like Slughorn when you call it an exclusive group.”

Aurora gave a mock shudder. “A better group than that, I promise you. There won’t be anybody who dreams of being a Death Eater at this party, so that’s got to get me bonus points.”

Her mind drifted to Severus for a moment, but she forced him out of her mind. She had wasted enough of her time on him and she did not want to let him affect her any longer. “In that case, let’s go.”

Since she had not been told where they would be meeting, she let Aurora lead her down from the door and through the castle. It seemed like they were walking for a long time, down five flights of stairs and through a rather claustrophobic corridor, with doors of rarely used rooms pressing in from all sides, lined up in a way that the walls were just noticeably crooked.

Aurora stopped several yards away from the corner and turned to face Lily, as though she was going to use her four foot eleven frame to physically block her way. “Naomi and Pip will be here any minute,” she said.

Lily raised an eyebrow. “You have a lot of confidence in that.”

“You know Pippa and her schedules,” Aurora said, waving a hand.

Lily nodded. Liv had suggested that they form a study group for OWLs the year before, but Pip had been the one to make sure they stayed on track and who had dragged them to the library when needed. Lily wasn’t sure how she managed to convince everybody to stick to her timeline without raising her voice, but somehow she had managed it and their OWLs had passed with minimal issues.

As promised, the two Hufflepuffs arrived a few minutes later. “Hey,” Naomi said, raising a hand and grinning. After making eye contact with Lily, she added, “Happy almost birthday to you.”

“Happy birthday to you too.” She gave the taller girl a hug. “How does it feel being an adult?”

“Glorious. But good luck convincing my mum and dad that I’m an adult now.” She laughed. “In the card they sent they told me that they weren’t going to consider me an adult until my next birthday. Something about how it wouldn’t be fair to Miriam if Nathan and I are considered adults at seventeen but she has to wait until she’s eighteen.”

Lily had a feeling that her parents were going to have a hard time accepting the fact that, in the wizarding world, she would be an adult as of tomorrow. “I’ll convince yours if you convince mine,” Lily offered, mostly joking. Even though her Muggle sibling was older than her, she knew Petunia well enough to know that her sister would throw a fit at what she would see as yet another injustice attributed to Lily’s magic.

“Deal,” Naomi said. Looking towards Pippa and Aurora, she asked, “So, how long are we going to stand in this hallway before you let us join our own birthday party?”

“It’s not the party now, it’s just a lunch,” Pippa replied at the same time that Aurora said, “We can go in now, if you want.”

That was all that had to be said before Lily walked towards the door their friends had pointed towards, with Naomi following closely on her heels. She had hardly opened the door when she heard the first calls of “Happy birthday!” from inside.

Even though Aurora had given her a slight heads up that there would be more people than usual, she was a bit surprised to see the number of people in the room. Liv and Claire were sitting on a pair of overstuffed chairs that were a shocking purple colour that, if she had to guess, she would have bet Liv had conjured especially for the occasion. Gary Malkin was sitting on the floor near Claire’s feet, clearly having shown up more due to the fact that he was Claire’s boyfriend than because he was in the same house as Naomi. Near him was Ezra Diggory, his dorm mate, who Lily had also been expecting. There were a few other faces that she knew as Naomi’s friends and, near the food at the back of the room, the four Gryffindor boys.

“Happy birthday,” Sirius yelled out, raising his butterbeer in the air. “Why don’t you grab some butterbeers and some food?”

Behind her, Lily heard a sigh that could only been Aurora. Sure enough, Aurora yelled back, “Just because you’re starving doesn’t mean the birthday girls need to start eating right away.”

Lily looked over her shoulder and whispered, “You’re the one who invited him.”

“Because I thought his pureblood mother would have taught him some manners, or at least some subtlety,” she said with an over-exaggerated eye roll. “But, don’t get me wrong, if you’re hungry we can crack into this food now. I’m just that good of a friend that I will eat when you tell me to.”

“Shocking,” Lily joked. Then, much to Sirius’s pleasure, she grabbed a plate and began to pile the food that had been laid out onto it.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Naomi would get to open her presents first, Liv had declared, because her birthday was first. It was as good a reason as any James admitted, but he was much more interested to see how Lily reacted to the present she was getting from him than what Naomi had been given.

Naomi and Lily were sitting on the two ridiculous purple chairs that Liv had transfigured earlier, while he and the others were sitting on the assortment of mismatched chairs they had dragged in from the surrounding rooms. He had ended up on a stool but despite the fact that he couldn’t lounge on the backless chair, he was more than happy to have it because he was only two spots down from Lily. While Naomi opened her presents and thanked everybody, he was able to get a great view of Lily watching her friend.

When Naomi had thanked him and the other Marauders for her presents (a cashmere scarf, purchased with his money, and a bottle of tequila, purchased by Sirius with Black family money), he had said “you’re welcome,” politely. Even though he had spent a decent amount on her, he had been happy to sign Peter and Remus’s names under his and Sirius’s on the gifts. It didn’t matter to him in the slightest that he wouldn’t get credit for those gifts. On the contrary, if it made Peter happy to feel like he made the girl he thought was really cute happy, he was willing to spend a few more galleons than he had been planning to spend.

When it came time for Lily to open her gifts, he found himself sitting up a little straighter. Even though he knew he didn’t have anything to worry about with the group in here in terms of them competing for Lily’s affection, he still felt worried about how she would react to what he had bought. In the past couple years he had bought her whatever caught his attention and hoped that she would be impressed with little luck. In fact, even though he had been convinced that she would love the box of chocolates and sweets he had bought last year that must have weighed nearly ten pounds, he had heard from Moony that she had ranted about people trying to buy her affection. Between that and information he had managed to pull out of Aurora about Lily feeling like she had been used so the Marauders could take digs at Snivellus in the past, he found himself actually worried this year.

James leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he watched Lily unwrap her gifts. He found himself grinning like an idiot when she let out a big belly laugh after reading one of her cards, her green eyes twinkling. As she reached for a package wrapped in gold foil, a dark blue ribbon tied in a lopsided bow at the top, he felt his palms start to sweat. He was aware of the fact that he was being ridiculous since the package was signed from his mates as well, but he was worried that if she did not like what she got he would be blamed for it for one reason or another.

When Lily pulled out the bottle of vodka he knew the package contained, he was relieved that her only reaction was a polite, “Thank you.” He didn’t even know why he had been nervous, since they had known what her liquor of choice had been. When she opened her second gift, a black cashmere cardigan that he desperately hoped was in a size that would fit her, he could see a brief flash of surprise cross her face before she looked around at them and thanked them once more. James could have sworn that her eyes lingered on him a moment longer than they had on any of the others, but he wasn’t sure if he had just been imagining it.

After all the packages had been opened, Lily opened up the remaining cards in quick succession. James did his best to act like he had little interest in what was in the cards, since even his friends didn’t know that he had written a card just from him and stuck it into her pile. He hardly dared breathe when Lily pulled it out of the envelope, silver glitter falling all over her lap. Her emerald eyes scanned the words he had written briefly and, as he hoped, the corner of her lips twitched upwards. He let out a sigh of relief.

Once the girls had opened their presents, they made their way around the room giving hugs and thanks while their friends went over to where they had stored the cakes earlier. He could hear fervent half-whispers coming from her friends while Lily walked around the group clockwise. James’s eyes followed her the entire way until she reached him, near the very end of her circle.

He was already standing from the tight hug Naomi had pulled him into, hands shoved in the pockets of his trousers to keep him from fidgeting, when Lily stepped in front of him. “Hug?” she had asked.

It was something that he had always hoped to hear her say but that, until recently, he had thought that he did not stand a chance of actually hearing. When she stepped into his open arms, he could feel his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest. He hoped desperately that she couldn’t hear it.

She turned her head up, so it was only a few inches from his ear. “Flying lessons?” she whispered, hot breath brushing across his cheek. Before he could answer, she took a step back. Thankfully, despite her raised eyebrow, he could tell she was fighting back a smile.

“I thought you might want to learn how to fly,” he whispered back, trying to sound innocent. “You were so uncomfortable on a broom the last time you gave flying a chance but I think with some practice you could get really good.” It was an exaggeration, but she didn’t need to know that. She also didn’t need to know that he just really, really wanted to spend some more one on one time with her, especially doing an activity that required they be so close together.

“And, naturally, you thought you would be the person to help me with flying.”

“Of course,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I could make you great you know.”

“I am great,” she said cheekily. As she smirked, he felt his heart flip over in his chest again. Merlin, she was amazing. “Or do I need to remind you?”

“You’re great, but not at flying,” James said. “But maybe you could be.”

She looked like she didn’t believe a word he was saying, but at that moment he didn’t care. “If you think I’m going to go flying with you in February with the wind howling you’re bloody mental.”

“We’ll go in the spring then. You’ll notice that there was no expiration date on that offer.”

Lily laughed. “We’ll see.”

She took a step even further back as her friends started a chorus of “Happy Birthday.” James joined in, not caring that he had a goofy grin on his face. Maybe, just maybe, he could get Lily on his side.  
 


	19. Death Toll Rising

Chapter Eighteen – Death Toll Rising

Lily felt like winter term was passing in a blur. She had woken up on her birthday with only the slightest hint of a hangover, which she was thankful for, and birthday gifts from her parents at the foot of her bed. The only downside of the day was that Slytherin came from behind to beat Ravenclaw in Quidditch two hundred to one hundred and thirty, which had resulted in an impressive string of expletives from Liv.

February had come with more assignments, which was unfortunate, and more chances to practice apparating, which was exciting. She had managed to apparate to the hoop in front of her once about half an hour into the lesson, but had never managed to get herself back to the first hoop. The sensation of disapparating was every bit as unpleasant as her friends had described it to her, but at least it had been over quickly. She had asked her friends if it seemed so fast because they were only travelling such short distances, but none of them were able to give her a definitive answer either way. She hoped it was not true, because she didn’t much fancy the idea of feeling squished during the long trip from one of her friend’s houses to Cokeworth.

As mid-February and the date of their third apparation lesson approached, the first date for apparation testing had been announced. Lily was not sure if she would be able to do it regularly enough by the end of March, even if their lessons every other Saturday continued. When Aurora, who had splinched herself on her only semi-successful attempt, agreed with her Claire had sighed.

“At least you two will be able to give it a try,” she joked. “I probably won’t have the chance to get licenced until summer.”

Given the fact that her late May birthday was always followed almost immediately by exams, it seemed like a good guess. This was especially unfair when Claire, who had the most magical family and had apparated more times than any of the rest of them over her life, had been the most successful at moving from hula hoop to hula hoop. Lily wondered if she would have been better if she had experienced it before. Having watched the others struggle, including Sirius Black of all people, she had a feeling that it might not have helped at all.

Claire’s confidence in her ability to pass the apparation exam on the first try may have been why she didn’t mind waiting. Or maybe it was because Peter, Pippa, and some of their other acquaintances would be staying with her when it came time. But, what Lily thought was the most likely option, she may have not cared about waiting because the next day was Valentine’s Day.

As Lily expected, Claire and Gary disappeared for much of the day when they didn’t have class. Naomi had the day off after her first class and she had announced that she and Ezra had plans in a tone that clearly meant she was planning to get some action. Lily had not been asked to be anybody’s Valentine, which came as a bit of a relief given James’s questioning of the matter the year before. When the other two had disappeared, she spent the lunch hour with Aurora, Pippa, and Liv gossiping about some of the other boys in their year.

She didn’t tell her friends about the letter she had gotten in the owl post that morning. She had broken the seal and read no more than the first line when she had crumbled the paper and tossed it into the pocket of her robes. She had tossed the letter into the fire later, watching as the flames licked at the page with Severus’s writing on it until it was nothing more than cinders. In all their years of friendship he had never actually asked her to be his Valentine, at least not in so many words. She didn’t care to read more of his pitiful apology and questions than she had in the first handful of words. If he had thought she would be in a good mood on this day, he was sorely mistaken.

By the time she had finished reading about Herbology and walked back to the common room and then up to her dorm, it was after nine at night. She had slipped out of her uniform and into pyjamas, no longer thinking about what day it was but instead focusing on the fact that Monday was over. When her face was washed and her teeth were brushed, she bid goodnight to her roommates and crawled into bed, pulling the curtains of her four poster bed shut around her. She lay down on her stomach, ready to sleep. As she slipped her hands under her pillow, trying to get into a comfortable position, her eyes snapped open as she felt the edge of a piece of paper.

Her eyes fluttered open. Grabbing her wand off her bedside table, she muttered, “Lumos.” The warm light washed over the slip of paper and she read the short message.

Remember, you said you would fly with me.  
♥ James

She read the message over again. She had told him she’d fly with him at her birthday, but she had also specified that she had no interest in braving the Scottish winter winds. Since it was still mid-February, it clearly was not the warm spring day she’d told him she’d try flying again. And if she knew anything about James Potter, she knew that he would be all too aware that it was Valentine’s Day when he had chosen to send the note. There was no way that he hadn’t. And what about the heart in his message before his name? That sent a clear message at any time. Was this his way of trying to get her attention on Valentine’s Day this year?

Still sitting upright, her mind was racing. It was only after she had leaned back, resting her head on the headboard, that she realized something. The note in her hands was placed specifically under her pillow, without an owl to be seen. That meant that either James had somehow gotten into the girls’ dormitories or he had somehow recruited somebody to leave the message for him. She didn’t want to ask, just in case it wasn’t any of her roommates, but the alternatives were even stranger. Had he gotten in somehow? Had he convinced a house elf to do his bidding?

All her hopes about having an easy time falling asleep were gone. She lay awake for a while, the note that was taking up so much of her attention resting near the top of her bed. When she did drift off, her mind was still preoccupied.

 

¬¬¬¬¬______________________________________

A few days later a loud slam made Lily jump awake, heart pounding. She tried to disentangle herself from her sheets and pulled one of the four poster’s curtains back. From the location of her bed she could sort of see the door to her dormitory, which she had figured was the cause of the loud bang. Lily had assumed that one of her roommates had opened the door for one reason or another, although she had no idea about why they would want to do that so early on a Saturday. She was not expecting to see the back of a familiar head and a tartan dressing gown near the door.

“Professor?” Lily asked, pulling the coverings of her four poster all the way back.

The woman in the tartan dressing gown turned around, revealing Professor McGonagall’s face, as Lily had expected. The Head of Gryffindor had her dark hair falling down her back rather than tightly pulled back from her face, which was a bit of a surprise. But the look on the professor’s face made Lily push the thought from her mind pretty much immediately.

“Good morning Miss Evans,” Professor McGonagall said. “I’m glad you’re awake, you are requested in Professor Dumbledore’s office.”

Lily’s stomach clenched with fear. If she was being woken up at – she glanced at her watch on the nightstand – seven thirty-three on a Saturday by her head of house, something must be seriously wrong. “My family…”

“Is all healthy, to the best of my knowledge,” Professor McGonagall assured her. A wave of relief washed over Lily for a split second. Before she had time to think about what the reason for this unexpected wakeup call would be, Professor McGonagall asked, “Which beds belong to Miss Vermette and Miss Gracin?”

The anxiety was back. “Those two,” Lily said, pointing at the two beds between her and the door. She didn’t want to think about what sort off meeting would require her, Claire, and Aurora but not the other three girls in their dorm.

Lily didn’t move from her spot on her bed as Professor McGonagall opened the drapes around Aurora and Claire’s beds. Lily listened to the whispers coming from her friends’ beds, hoping for some hint of what was going on but getting none.

“Is that McGonagall?” came a voice from behind her. “What’s going on?”

Opening the hangings on the other side, Lily found herself looking at Saphira, who was standing near the end of the next bed over with her hair a mess. “I don’t know,” Lily said. “Aurora, Claire, and I are supposed to go see Dumbledore.”

The look on Saphira’s face made it clear that the other girl had reached the same conclusion about Lily about the nature of what this early morning meeting must entail. “Just you three?”

“I think so,” Lily said.

A look of relief passed over Saphira’s face. Lily felt like maybe she should be upset about the fact that Saphira was relieved that she was not involved in whatever bad news was surely coming, but Lily couldn’t bring herself to it. She’d felt that relief herself minutes earlier knowing that her family was okay, even though she knew that something bad must have happened to somebody somewhere for McGonagall to have shown up.

“I’m going back to bed,” Saphira said, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb. “Good luck with… whatever it is.” The other girl’s voice wavered.

“Thanks,” Lily said. They didn’t hang out often, but she had nothing against her other roommates. And, at the moment, she was willing to take any good wishes she could get.

Lily pushed herself off her bed and patted over to see what was happening with her friends in her bare feet. When she came into view of Professor McGonagall, the older woman said, “You three should get dressed. I will be waiting for you in the Common Room. Be quick, we should leave within the next few minutes.”

As their professor disappeared from view, closing the door to their dormitory much more quietly than the first time, Claire and Aurora climbed out of their beds without saying a word. They didn’t need to. Nowadays any sort of unexpected news that was told in a rush was nerve wracking. Not being given any sort of indication of what had happened meant that her mind was running a mile a minute about what could have happened and, from the looks on their faces, Aurora and Claire were feeling very similarly.

After putting on the clothes that were at the top of her trunk, Lily pulled her hair back into a somewhat lopsided plait, hoping that it would make her bedhead seem slightly less crazy. As soon as Claire had tied up her shoes, the three of them made their way down the spiral staircase to meet Professor McGonagall.

With her hands shoved in her pockets in an attempt to keep from fidgeting, Lily followed behind Professor McGonagall, letting her guide the way to Professor Dumbledore’s office. Occasionally she would exchange looks with her friends, trying to ask them what was happening without saying a word, but all she got in return was scared looks.

When they had reached the gargoyle outside of Dumbledore’s office, Professor McGonagall said, “Sugar mice.” When the statue had moved, McGonagall gestured for them to step onto the stairs ahead of her.

The door to Professor Dumbledore’s office was already opened and Lily had hardly looked inside before he was beckoning her inside. As soon as she had entered Lily’s eyes landed on Naomi and Pippa, who were standing in front of Professor Cauldwell, the head of Hufflepuff. They looked as confused as Lily felt, so she knew that they had not been told anything yet either.

Sitting in the chair across the desk from Dumbledore was Liv. Her thick dark hair was hanging across her back, the ends in tangles. She was wearing a black dressing gown over her pyjamas. Clearly, she had not taken the time to change before coming to the office.

The knot in her stomach was forming again as Professor Dumbledore said, “Thank you Penelope and Minerva,” he nodded at Cauldwell and McGonagall in turn. “You may return to your residences.”

Dumbledore watched as the other two professors left without speaking, his hands on his desk. Lily took her lead from him, as did the others who were standing. Liv, on the other hand, was still sitting without looking up. Even when the door to the Headmaster’s office closed, she didn’t move. As she watched Liv pick at a hangnail, Lily felt sick.

“I know you are wondering why I have summoned you here at such an early hour,” Professor Dumbledore said. He sounded as calm as ever and Lily didn’t know how he managed it. “I would not if it were not of great importance, I promise you. Miss Madley, would you like me to tell your friends the news I gave you or would you like to do it yourself?”

Liv turned in her chair, big blue eyes wider than usual. If she had to guess, Lily would have said she hadn’t even been aware that they were there until Professor Dumbledore had said it. Liv’s eyes darted between them, not looking at any person for longer than a couple of seconds. She was paler than usual and her beautiful features looked haunted. “I can’t.” Even in those two words, her voice managed to waver.

As Liv turned around again, Professor Dumbledore began to speak. “Miss Madley was summoned here shortly after seven. After I told her what I am about to tell you, she requested that her friends be told the news as well.”

He sounded calm and his face did not betray his emotions, but Lily knew from his tone that it was bad, bad news. She supposed she had always known it would be bad news, but now it was undeniable.

“I received an owl shortly after dawn from the Auror office. Very early this morning, they had been summoned to a house in Yorkshire after neighbours had spotted the Dark Mark above a local house.”

To Lily’s right, Pippa’s hand flew up to her mouth. Pippa was also from Yorkshire, having grown up in the same neighbourhood as Liv. Their had known each other long before they had gone to Hogwarts. Anything that had happened in Liv’s home had happened close to hers. And the Dark Mark only ever meant one thing.

“Aurors apparated to the area and were on the scene within minutes of receiving the owl. They entered the house that neighbours told them belonged to Valencia and Tarquin Madley.” Across from Dumbledore, Liv was still unmoving. As Lily looked at her friend, her eyes began to burn. She knew what was coming. “Unfortunately, upon entering the home Aurors found the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Madley in their kitchen.”

The first tear fell from Lily’s eye then. As she brushed it off with the back of her hand, Pippa walked over to give Liv a hug from over the back of the chair. A few moments later, they had all followed in Pip’s footsteps and were standing around Liv, offering hugs and their condolences.

After being pulled from the chair by her friends, Liv accepted the hugs without really hugging back. She looked like she was in shock and sounded much the same, speaking more quietly than Lily ever remembered hearing her before. She wondered if Liv was even processing anything that they were saying to her.

“Is there anything you want us to do for you?” Naomi asked, resting a hand on Liv’s arm.

“I’m going to go home for a bit,” she said slowly. “I’m going to stay with Des for a bit. Ferdinand might too, I don’t know. I’ll… I’ll let you know when we have something planned for Mum and Dad so you guys can come say goodbye.”

“Of course,” Pippa said. Her eyes were red, more so than any of the others. They had all met Liv’s parents at the train and seen them on a couple of other occasions, but Pippa and Liv had spent their childhoods at each other’s houses and their families had celebrated milestones together. It was why Liv was part of their group, despite being the only Ravenclaw. “Give your brothers hugs for us. And contact my parents if you need anything.”

“Okay,” Liv said. Strangely, her voice sounded stronger than Pippa’s.

Lily tried to keep her own tears back, feeling like it would be weird to cry over Liv’s parents if Liv herself was not. “You’re not going to be alone often, will you?”

“Des should have no trouble getting time off work and I don’t think the Arithmancy researchers Ferdinand works for will make him go in,” Liv said. “They’ll be with me. To help… decide things.”

Professor Dumbledore said, “Naturally, all of your professors will be made aware of the situation and you will be excused as long as needed.” He paused briefly before adding, “When you feel ready to go to Desmond’s house, you will be able to floo there using my fireplace.” He gestured to the immaculately clean stone fireplace near the side of the room as he spoke.

A few minutes later, after exchanging goodbyes and receiving promises from Professor Dumbledore that her owl, Franklin, would be sent to her brother’s house with her other belongings, Liv said that she was ready to go. After a final hug from Pippa Liv stepped into the fireplace, ducking her head as she entered. A pinch of powder, a shout, and a roaring green flash later, she was gone.

Lily found herself staring at the empty fireplace for several seconds after Liv disappeared. Her mind was still reeling and trying to wrap itself around everything she had just heard. She could only imagine how Liv had felt upon hearing it for the first time.

They left as a group after Dumbledore excused them. Even though it was only eight o’clock in the morning, they didn’t head back to their dormitories. Lily was glad for that. There was no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep now, even though it had been well after midnight when she had gone to bed the night before.

Without discussing where they were going, they somehow found themselves in the Entrance Hall. “I guess we could get something to eat,” Claire said skeptically, as though she did not really believe that they would be able to eat.

Nobody had any better ideas, so they walked into the Great Hall. Unsurprisingly for the hour, it was nearly deserted. The Ravenclaw Quidditch team in their blue robes was sitting at a group at their table, eating breakfast before an early morning practice. The other students were clustered in groups of no more than three, often with books or newspapers spread out in front of them. Lily couldn’t help but wonder if any mentions of the Dark Mark above Liv’s house were in it, even if there were no details to give the Aurors time to contact the family. The thought brought another wave of sadness.

The girls sat down at the Gryffindor table together. Lily didn’t have it in her to care that, strictly speaking, Pippa and Naomi were supposed to be at the Hufflepuff table. There were only a few other Gryffindors, none of whom were paying them any attention, and only a couple of the professors, so there was nobody to tell them otherwise. She wasn’t sure if the other students would even know the difference, given the fact that none of them had put on their school robes before going to Dumbledore’s office that morning.

Lily piled food onto her plate, even though she had no appetite. Watching Aurora pick at her bacon and Naomi meticulously spreading marmalade onto a piece of toast, she knew she wasn’t the only one.

“I wish I knew what we could do for Liv,” Aurora said.

“Just be there for her when she wants to talk or cry, I guess,” Lily said. “It’s not like we can fix it, even if we try, and none of us can relate.”

“Thank Merlin,” Claire muttered under her breath. Lily nodded in agreement.

Aurora picked at her bacon, taking tiny bites. “When do you think they will have the funeral?”

Lily exchanged glances with the others, none of whom seemed to have a better idea of when it might happen than she did. The only experience that Lily had was when her granddad had died and while it had been sad, it had not been unexpected. In fact, he had told them his wishes beforehand so her gran and her mum had been able to plan things relatively quickly. Somehow, she did not think that was going to be the situation for Liv’s parents.

“I guess it depends how long it takes them to decide what her parents would want,” Pippa said. “I’m sure they had a will somewhere, but they’ll have to find it and figure out burial details and stuff.”

“They’re going to need to appoint Liv a guardian as well, since she isn’t an adult by Muggle standards,” Naomi pointed out, meeting eyes with Lily. It had only been three weeks earlier when they had discussed their own Muggle parents’ beliefs that you had to be eighteen to become an adult. “So the Muggle courts will want to know who gets to make all of her decisions for the next… nine months or so.”

“Will they make Des her guardian? He’s, what, twenty-one now?” Claire asked.

“Depends who her parents asked,” Naomi said.

“It will be Des,” Pippa said, her wavering voice betraying her attempt to portray confidence. “Des will take care of her for the next year, I know it. He’s her brother and he knows everything about Hogwarts, like her aunts and uncles, so I don’t think they’d fight it if it is him. All her grandparents were witches and wizards, so in their eyes she’s already an adult.”

After Pippa’s assentation, they drifted into silence again. Lily scooped some sugar into a cup of tea she wanted to drink solely for the caffeine, while Naomi poured milk into her coffee. Lily forced herself to eat the eggs and toast she’d put on her plate, figuring that she was going to need the energy for the day ahead after her lack of sleep. If she was even going to have a chance at successfully apparating later, she would need to get her brain working better.

Slowly they began to talk more, whether from the caffeine or the food or from a need to attempt to distract themselves Lily wasn’t sure. Whatever the reason was, it helped. She felt a bit guilty at first, talking about things like school and Claire’s date with Gary the previous night considering what had happened, but doing so was a bit of a relief.

Lily wasn’t sure entirely when it had happened, but when she had looked around she realized that there was now actually a chance of being overheard by the many new arrivals in the Great Hall. Naomi must have realized it as well, because she leaned forward over her second mostly empty cup of coffee, as though she did not want to be overheard, as she told them about the latest gossip. “Guess who dumped his girlfriend because he heard that she was cheating on him?”

“Who?”

“Mike Chambers,” Naomi said. Lily was not sure why she would be so confident of this fact given the fact that that they were in different houses and didn’t spend time together, but she couldn’t help but believe what she was hearing.

“Really?” Aurora asked, eyebrows raised. “Such a pity that Beth is such a bitch and that he is now single.”

“You sound so broken up about it,” Claire said, rolling her eyes.

Aurora laughed. “Well, he’s cute so if she cheated on him she’s a bitch.”

“Don’t get any ideas,” Naomi said. “I wouldn’t be so sure that this is going to be a permanent thing. I don’t even know if she did cheat on him, that’s just what I heard.”

They were discussing how reputable Naomi’s sources were when a voice behind them said, “I see that a couple of badgers have managed to infiltrate our table.”

Lily looked over her shoulder to see James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. She heard Aurora say, “Yeah, they’re eating with us today. And, if you’ll excuse me, we were talking about something important.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. She could see Pippa trying to fight back a giggle and mostly succeeding at it. Of all the things they had ever discussed, this was not one of the conversations that she would have dubbed important.

“Where’s Liv?” Remus asked. “Isn’t she usually a part of these important discussions of yours?”

She felt the smile fall off her face immediately. Had they really just been joking today, while Liv was off mourning? What kinds of friends were they? Thankfully, she didn’t have to answer. Their expressions must have been enough, because the boys were looking between them, confused.

In a much more serious tone, Remus asked, “Why isn’t Liv here? Did something happen?”

Pippa’s lower lip started trembling, while Aurora suddenly became very interested in the scraps of food left on her plate. Lily looked between Claire and Naomi, wondering if either of them were going to speak. She hoped that one of them would so she wouldn’t have to explain it all, but she doubted either of them wanted to tell the boys more than she did.

When she was starting to think that she would have to explain what happened, Claire spoke up. “She went home this morning.” Her voice was so soft, Lily had to listen carefully to hear it over the chatter from up and down the table. “Her parents were killed last night. The Dark Mark was over their house.”

The colour drained from Remus’s face. “Merlin,” he whispered. A second later, he looked even more horrified. “I would never have made a joke about where she was if I knew, I swear.”

“We know, Remus,” Lily assured him.

“That’s bloody awful,” Sirius said. His face was paler than usual. “They were killed by Death Eaters?” He sounded incredulous that Death Eaters could have killed the parents of somebody he knew, despite the fact that they were increasing in strength.

“Both her parents were magic and came from magic families though, weren’t they?” Peter asked. “So it’s not like either of them were…” He left the end of his sentence hanging, but Lily knew how to fill it in. Neither of them were blood traitors, neither of them were Muggle-lovers, neither of them were Mudbloods. There were lots of ways to fill the sentences in, but they all amounted to the same thing.

“They both were Ravenclaws and worked in the Department of Mysteries now,” Pippa informed the boys. “Her dad helped train her mum as an Unspeakable.”

Lily could see the flashes of recognition on their faces. Liv came from a family that had all been sorted into Ravenclaw and who were known for their intelligence outside of school. Valencia Sumner Madley and Tarquin Madley were not the sort of people that the Death Eaters hated on principle, not like they hated her or Naomi. Liv’s parents were the sort of people that the Death Eaters would like to have on their side, with their wisdom and their knowledge of the Ministry’s secrets.

Nobody could confirm it, at least not yet, but she knew that was the reason that Liv was now an orphan. Death Eaters had gone to her parents’ house to recruit them and, after they had refused, they had been killed for it.

The usual enthusiasm and chatter that filled the Entrance Hall prior to their apparation lessons was much more muted. When Lily and her friends were sitting on the floor near the main staircase, leaning against the walls and talking quietly amongst themselves, they were approached by two of the Ravenclaw girls in their year.

“Professor Flitwick told us about Liv’s parents,” said Apollonia Flume. “We packed up her trunk and got Franklin from the owlery for her.” 

Her twin sister, Artemisia, nodded beside her. “We were wondering if you knew when they were going to bury her parents. Our parents want to go and to send something.”

Lily was a bit taken aback. She hadn’t known that Mr. and Mrs. Flume, the owners of Honeydukes Sweet Shop in Hogsmeade, even knew Liv’s parents. Liv got along well enough with the Flume twins, but she had not realized the girls would be so concerned.

Thankfully, Pippa was less surprised and had answers ready. “We don’t know yet. But Dumbledore said we could go so we’ll let you know when we hear something.”

“Do you think he would let us go, too?” Apollonia asked. “We’re not as close as you guys but we have shared a dorm with her for five and a half years and... it’s just hard to get my head around, right now.”

Lily didn’t know if she had ever heard a more accurate statement. Here one day and gone the next, just like that. Dead because you did not believe in the superiority of some people to others.

She shivered and pulled the cashmere jumper she’d received for her birthday around herself more tightly. For the first time, the casualties of the war against You-Know-Who and his followers had hit very, very close to home.


	20. In Memorium

Chapter Nineteen – In Memorium

After the owl post came the next evening at dinner, Pippa had walked over from the Hufflepuff table with a letter in her hands. “It’s from Liv,” she said, holding it out.

Aurora had been fastest to reach for the letter, with her Quidditch tested reflexes. She smoothed it out on the table in front of them, between dinner plates, and read it out loud. “Dear Pip,” she began, “Ferdinand and I are staying at Des’s flat for now, while the Aurors look over our house. We should be back there in the next couple of days.

“They are doing autopsies for Mum and Dad now, but it looks like it was the killing curse that killed them so I don’t know if they’ll find anything else. When the bodies are released we’re getting them cremated, since Dad always made jokes about worm food. The funeral will be a few days later. Dumbledore will let you all come, right? I’m going to need you all there.

“I’m not in as much shock as yesterday, but it still doesn’t seem real. I keep expecting Mum and Dad to show up at any minute and to come and talk to us. I don’t know if this will ever make sense or seem real.

“Your parents have been good. Your mum has stocked Des’s kitchen with enough food to last us a week. Apparently, the neighbours are helping her out.

“I’m rambling now. I don’t care if you have to hex Dumbledore and steal his floo powder, I need you five here for the funeral.” That got smiles out of all of them. Even now, Liv still sounded like Liv. “I’ll send Franklin again when I find out more. xx, Liv.”

Before the letter that Liv promised arrived with more information, Professor Dumbledore had stepped into their Charms class on Tuesday afternoon. After whispering to the little professor, the headmaster said, “Misses Brown, O’Connor, Evans, Gracin, and Vermette, if you would join me in the corridor for a moment, please.”

Lily followed Naomi around the desks, ignoring Sirius’s joking about them getting into trouble. Their Charms room was overcrowded, even though it was in a different room than it had been in in years past, since nearly their entire year had taken Charms at a NEWT level. Trying to ignore the sniggering Slytherins seated at the front of the room, Lily stepped on Wilkes’s outstretched foot, which was clearly meant to trip her.

With a hiss of pain, she heard him mutter, “Fucking Mudblood.”

She wondered if Professor Dumbledore had heard, since he was standing only a few feet away, but he showed no signs of having heard anything. Lily wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, because while it would mean Wilkes would get in trouble it may require her to admit that she stepped on is foot on purpose. She would have thought lying about it was the way to go in years past, but Dumbledore always seemed to know when you were not telling him the truth.

After they had all stepped into the corridor, Professor Dumbledore closed the classroom door behind them. “I have received word from Desmond Madley. The visitation for his parents will be held on Thursday evening,” the headmaster said. “I know that Miss Madley would like for you to attend, so I will be giving you three,” he pointed to Naomi, Lily, and Aurora, “leave to go. As you two,” he pointed to Claire and Pippa, “are still underage, I will require confirmation from your parents that you have their permission to leave school to attend.”

“We’ll get to stay for the funeral, right?” Aurora asked.

“You will, Miss Gracin,” Dumbledore replied. “Professor Flitwick will be travelling to attend the funeral as head of Ravenclaw house.”

Remembering what the Flume twins had asked before their apparation lessons, Lily asked, “Uh, Professor?”

“Yes, Miss Evans?”

“I was wondering if Liv’s housemates would be given permission to attend the funeral as well. Artemisia and Apollonia Flume wanted to know when it was and they mentioned that their parents were considering attending.”

Dumbledore fiddled with the bottom of his long beard. “I will speak to Professor Flitwick about opening the invitation to attend to others,” Dumbledore said slowly. “But you can understand my desire to ensure that all those who ask to attend have been friendly to Miss Madley and her family in the past.”

In other words, he wanted to make sure that the Slytherins Liv hated would not show up at her parents’ funeral to see what the Death Eaters had done or to see Liv in such a vulnerable state. “Understood. Thank you, professor.”

“You girls should all return to class,” Professor Dumbledore said. “I would not want to keep you from practicing your non-verbal charms for this, since I am sure you will be receiving messages from your friend personally in the near future.”

As usual, Dumbledore seemed to know things that he would have no logical way of knowing. In the owl post that evening, a familiar looking owl landed in front of Claire.

“Hello Franklin,” Claire said, scratching his head before untying the message from his leg. Her large eyes scanned it quickly before she shared the message. “It’s from Liv,” she said unnecessarily. “She says the visitation is Thursday night and the funeral is Friday morning, just like Dumbledore said. She also wrote that she just is telling Franklin to see one of her friends and for whoever gets this to share the message with the rest of you guys.”

“Should we send a reply?” Lily asked.

“Here, I have something in my bag,” Aurora said. She ripped a scrap off the edge of a piece of parchment and began writing. Looking over her shoulder, Lily read the message.

Got your letter. All attending with Flitwick. See you soon.

Aurora didn’t bother to sign the message, but Lily figured Liv would be able to recognize the messy handwriting without the help of a name. Claire placed the message inside the envelope Franklin had been carrying originally and tied it to the owl’s leg once more with nimble fingers. “Bring this back to Liv,” Claire instructed.

Franklin ruffled his feathers and hopped a few inches to the right before taking off. Lily watched him disappear into the swarm of owls flying overhead, some still with parcels and letters while others were fighting to leave again. One of the owls that was still searching for its designated recipient was Claire’s family owl.

Tearing the envelope that had been tied to the well-kept barn owl’s leg, Claire said, “Mum and Dad have told Dumbledore I can go to the funeral. He spoke to them via floo earlier about it.”

Unsurprisingly, Pippa received word the next morning that she would be able to attend as well. For the five of them, Wednesday morning left plenty of free time. Aurora and Naomi had Muggle Studies, a class they could pass without difficulty due to their upbringings, and none of them were taking NEWT level Ancient Runes. That gave them time to complete the work they should be doing that weekend and things that were due in the next few days. They were all able to support Liv, which they could do much better if they got all their schoolwork out of the way.

They had been called to Dumbledore’s office once more on the afternoon of the twenty-fourth around five, after they had time to get back from their Herbology lesson and collect their things from their dorm rooms. They had all been dressed in their funeral attire before they arrived, each carrying an overnight bag. Lily had been grateful that she had been able to find a nice pencil skirt and a dark blouse to wear in the clothing she had packed. There had not really been the opportunity to shop for something to wear. She knew Liv wouldn’t care, but she hoped that what she was wearing was appropriate for the funeral of a witch and wizard.

When they had all gathered around Dumbledore’s desk, he had produced a portkey for them to use to travel to Yorkshire. They would be arriving at the Browns’ home, after which Pippa’s parents would be taking them to the funeral home. Thankfully, it all went off without a hitch. Their departure from Hogwarts to Pippa’s childhood home to the time they left for the visitation took less than twenty minutes.

Lily had never been to a magical funeral before. She had not been sure what she was expecting, but the place the Madleys’ visitation was at seemed like any other. The décor was a bit outdated and the colours were sombre, with lots of dark woods and chairs for people to sit on while they discussed the deceased.

Liv was on one of those chairs when they found her. Somebody must have taken her shopping to buy new clothing for the funeral because she was wearing a black sheath dress, a thin charcoal grey cardigan, stockings, and classy black shoes with a low heel. She looked stunning, but nothing that she was wearing was her style. Neither were the pearl necklace or the minimalist makeup she was wearing, just a touch of mascara and blush on an otherwise clear face.

As soon as she saw them she said, “Thank you.” She pulled Pippa into a tight hug, holding her oldest friend like a lifeline. “Dumbledore let you all come?”

“Not just us,” Pippa said, reaching up to push some of Liv’s dark hair over her shoulder. Even without heels, Liv was five foot ten. The only one who didn’t have to look up more than a couple inches to look her in the eye was Naomi. “Some other people from school are coming, too.”

“They all had to ask Dumbledore to get permission,” Naomi added. She was dressed even less like her usual self than Liv, with a shirt buttoned all the way up to her collarbone. The subtext of what she was saying was clear: everybody who was coming from school would be vetted. Even outside of campus, Dumbledore would do his best to protect his students.

Liv excused herself a few minutes later, heading off to see a couple she had identified as her aunt and uncle. With Liv gone, the others had looked at the photographs that had been placed out. Some showed her parents as children, black and white photos of them in their Hogwarts uniforms. There was one of their wedding and ones of them as a family, with little Liv and her two older brothers. Even then, Liv had been beautiful.

Lily had only met Valencia and Tarquin Madley a few times over the years. Compared to most, they had been exceptionally busy with work. Instead, Liv had often gone shopping with Desmond and Ferdinand for her school things, since they were both seen as responsible enough to take care of her. The few times Lily had met Liv’s parents, she had been intimidated by them. Liv’s father had been as handsome as she was beautiful, with the same flawless skin and the striking combination of dark hair and vibrantly blue eyes. The real reason Lily had been intimidated by Liv’s family was that her parents were both amazingly smart and well-read, the kind of people who seemed to know more than you did on any given topic.

The five of them sat together, with Liv joining them when she could between greeting old family friends and being given condolences. They had arrived as it started to support her, doing the only thing they could to help her cope. The others from school drifted in more slowly, but there were steadily people that they recognized stopping by.

The Flume twins and their parents came early, as did little Professor Flitwick. Gary Malkin, who had been spending a lot of time with their group ever since the end of fifth year, and his mother arrived later. Evidently, his mother had been in school with Liv’s mother back when she had been Valencia Sumner and had wanted to come with Gary. They had been followed by James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, looking more serious than Lily had ever seen them. They were all in dress clothes and ties, with clean shaven faces. Somehow, James’s hair was lying nicely on his head.

The sixth years grouped together, off to the side of the room out of the way of Liv’s relatives. They didn’t say much at first, feeling awkward talking about trivial things at a wake, but after a while Liv herself brought up what everybody was thinking.

“What the hell did you do to your hair?” she asked James suspiciously.

James ran his hand over his hair, smoothing it down. For once, it was not sticking up in all directions. Instead it was sleek and smooth, for once looking like he had taken a comb through it. “My Mum would freak out if I didn’t manage my hair for a funeral,” he said awkwardly.

“I didn’t know that anything could manage your hair,” she said bluntly.

That gone a grin from Sirius. “Only one thing can,” he said.

“Mate, this is not the place,” Remus hissed. At the same time, Peter said, “Merlin, he’s going to bring it up, isn’t it?”

Lily was going to ask what “it” was exactly, but Sirius saved her the trouble. “Jamesie here doesn’t like to talk about it, but his father invented the most magical hair taming tonic in the world. It is, in fact, the only thing that works on his hair but he refuses to use it out of spite.”

“I do not refuse to use it out of spite,” James argued. “I don’t use it because it’s too much work.”

Naomi put a hand to her mouth. “Your father invented Sleekeasy’s Hair Potion and Scalp Treatment?”

James groaned and placed his head in his hands.

“You didn’t know that?” Artemisia Flume asked. “I thought everybody knew that’s how the Potters gained so much of their wealth.”

“So did I,” Sirius said. “We taunt him about it mercilessly.”

“We don’t, you do,” Remus said, which got a shrug from Sirius.

“I can honestly say the topic has never come up when I was around,” Lily said, looking at the boys with surprise. “I had heard of it, but I didn’t know that James’s dad made it. I thought it had been around for decades?”

“It has,” Peter said. “James’s parents are just really old. His dad was, like, sixty or something when he was born.”

Liv didn’t seem to mind the direction the discussion had taken. On the contrary, she seemed to be enjoying having something to laugh about. Even if they could not give her comfort after what had happened to her parents, at least they could still make her laugh.

They arrived early for the funeral the next day. They had waited for their other friends before heading in, even though it was cold and fluffy snowflakes were falling outside. This was going to be hard enough, they needed to be with all the other people they knew for moral support.

Lily ended up with a seat between James and Claire. In the pocket of her pea coat she had tissues, which Pippa had insisted that everybody take before leaving for the church. She took them out before removing it. Underneath she was wearing the cashmere cardigan she had gotten for her birthday, which she pulled more tightly around herself. Even with the heat on, the church’s ceilings were high and the constantly opening front doors let in the winter winds.

For once, nobody said much of anything while they waited. Instead they sat in silence, mostly looking at the church itself or the floor. Occasionally Lily would see one of them would look at a friend or squeeze the hand of the person they were sitting next to, but nobody seemed to know what to do other than sit and wait.

When the service did start, Lily did her best to hold it together for most of it. It was only when Liv went up to do a reading with red eyes and a cracking voice that she started to cry. She did her best not to draw attention to herself, dabbing at her eyes and nose with her tissues, but there was no way to hide it from the people next to her. To her right Claire was crying as well, holding hands with Gary with one hand and gripping a soggy tissue in her other. On Lily’s other side James was sombre and stoic. She could tell he was doing his best to keep his eyes focused on the front, but they kept darting her way.

After a couple minutes, he hesitantly offered his hand to her, palm up. She took it without hesitation, grabbing it and giving it a squeeze. She found herself literally leaning against him for support, comforted by the fact that he was right there and that he was handling this better than her. It was tiring always being so strong. Knowing that James would never judge her for her tears made her feel a bit better about crying in public.

When the Madley family had left the church, Lily and the others stood up. As she pulled her coat back on, she turned to James and whispered, “Thank you.”

He reached up to her face. More gently than she expected, he wiped the wet trail a tear had taken down her cheek with his thumb. “Anytime,” he whispered back.

She found herself shivering at the touch of his hand on her face. She knew he meant what he said. Anytime she needed him, he would be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: These last two chapters have been depressing, so I thought a little humour about James’s dad’s invention was necessary to lighten the mood a bit. I would love to hear what you think of the story so far and any predictions you have of what is going to happen next.


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